WEBVTT 00:00:00.620 --> 00:00:07.800 This morning you're going to get to take a break from me as I get the privilege of introducing to you, 00:00:07.800 --> 00:00:13.000 pastor Jay Holland, who is a pastor in Stuart, Florida. 00:00:13.180 --> 00:00:16.650 I have known him for well over a couple of decades now, almost three decades. 00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:22.980 And I've even shared I've never shared his name in my testimony when I've told you guys my story. 00:00:23.240 --> 00:00:28.580 But I will tell a little more specific with my own faith journey in Christ. 00:00:29.200 --> 00:00:31.030 I was a very angry child. 00:00:31.440 --> 00:00:36.850 I grew up in a somewhat broken environment and I carried that with me. 00:00:38.260 --> 00:00:45.280 and when I was, I remember in high school, pastor Jay would come to the high school that I attended and he would minister to the kids there, 00:00:45.360 --> 00:00:47.080 kids in his youth group, and he would reach out to kids. 00:00:47.620 --> 00:00:54.020 I was one of those kids that was on his radar, at least, that he would come to and try to invite me to church. 00:00:54.640 --> 00:01:01.660 And at that point in my life, I the greatest well, the thing that I enjoyed most about my interaction with pastor Jay 00:01:01.660 --> 00:01:06.620 is how quickly I could respond back in a very negative get away from me answer. 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:13.460 I would think of the quickest reaction I could have in that moment to just be rude, honestly. 00:01:13.460 --> 00:01:16.160 And but he continued to be patient and gracious towards me. 00:01:16.960 --> 00:01:23.960 And when I was starting college, I remember I got to a place where I was just in a faith crisis, and I came to him and said, I'll give you some time to tell me 00:01:23.960 --> 00:01:24.760 about your Jesus. 00:01:25.620 --> 00:01:30.840 And if I can disprove what you say to me, then I will reject it and continue to live life the way that I want. 00:01:31.480 --> 00:01:39.240 And I remember I showed up to church one Sunday, and in the middle of the gymnasium of their church, he put a table there, and he and his wife, and 00:01:39.240 --> 00:01:41.240 this was their Sunday school class. 00:01:41.240 --> 00:01:41.970 It was just me. 00:01:42.380 --> 00:01:44.220 And they started ministering to me. 00:01:44.220 --> 00:01:47.160 And through that, the Lord transformed my life. 00:01:47.860 --> 00:01:55.920 And, um. 00:01:55.920 --> 00:02:03.060 Let me just encourage you as you think about your own family and friends, to not give up and to keep being gracious and patient 00:02:03.060 --> 00:02:03.840 with them. 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:07.500 But it's with that joy and privilege. 00:02:07.540 --> 00:02:09.759 This morning I want to introduce Pastor Jay Holland. 00:02:09.759 --> 00:02:12.260 You guys give him a round of applause as he comes up to share. 00:02:17.700 --> 00:02:18.340 Thank you. 00:02:19.800 --> 00:02:25.180 I thought I got my cries out for service. 00:02:26.850 --> 00:02:28.270 It's good to be with you guys. 00:02:29.300 --> 00:02:35.200 Yes, Nathaniel was kind of a stubborn pain in the butt in high school. 00:02:35.200 --> 00:02:37.590 I know that would be a shock to any of you guys that know him now. 00:02:39.950 --> 00:02:47.300 What he didn't share is I kind of got a little bit of payback in, like, nearly killing him multiple times 00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:48.680 on mission trips. 00:02:49.340 --> 00:02:56.460 Just happened to, being young and dumb youth pastor myself, setting up 00:02:56.460 --> 00:03:01.720 with like, narcissistic, lying, opportunist and, nearly. 00:03:01.720 --> 00:03:02.260 Yeah. 00:03:02.320 --> 00:03:03.300 So Nathaniel's alive. 00:03:03.300 --> 00:03:06.060 That's just like the sovereign grace of God. 00:03:06.100 --> 00:03:07.820 He must have really had plans for you guys. 00:03:08.010 --> 00:03:09.810 It's a joy to be here together. 00:03:10.980 --> 00:03:12.320 It's really sweet. 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:13.860 Not just Nathaniel and Stacy. 00:03:14.020 --> 00:03:19.830 Stacy was actually literally one of the first kids in my very first youth ministry ever. 00:03:20.220 --> 00:03:22.640 And, just a sharp girl. 00:03:22.880 --> 00:03:25.060 And I again, I shared first service. 00:03:25.100 --> 00:03:27.620 I thought she hated my guts, like the first few months. 00:03:27.620 --> 00:03:34.860 Maybe she did, but a few months into it, having a conversation with her and she, like, repeated everything 00:03:34.860 --> 00:03:40.260 that I had taught for 3 or 4 months at that time where I was thinking, this girl really doesn't like me. 00:03:40.660 --> 00:03:42.770 Like she was just soaking it up and absorbing it. 00:03:43.180 --> 00:03:50.580 And, seeing Tyler and Laura out here, basically what I found is the best people in the world are those who come 00:03:50.580 --> 00:03:54.520 from West Virginia, but managed to escape And go somewhere. 00:03:54.520 --> 00:03:58.730 And the man, the Lord is like, if you can get out of this, God can use you for anything. 00:04:00.060 --> 00:04:01.500 I did, by the way. 00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:05.160 I, I also do a couple of podcasts. 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:08.340 I'm a youth pastor, a student pastor in Stuart, Florida. 00:04:08.540 --> 00:04:11.850 I've done a parenting podcast for a number of years called Less Parent on Purpose. 00:04:12.640 --> 00:04:19.160 This past month, I just launched a new daily devotional podcast called guided by Faith. 00:04:19.540 --> 00:04:26.660 it's aimed at, well, I say it's aimed at teens and young adults, and the reason I say that is because if I say it's for 00:04:26.660 --> 00:04:29.170 everybody, teenagers won't listen. 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:34.820 but it's scripture, it's truth, and it's about five, six minutes a day. 00:04:34.820 --> 00:04:41.960 So it's something real good and easy to fit into your routine and just encourage you guys do whatever you can do to just 00:04:41.960 --> 00:04:45.450 build into your routine to build your faith. 00:04:45.840 --> 00:04:48.070 Go ahead and do it, whether it's my podcast or something else. 00:04:48.340 --> 00:04:49.460 time in God's Word is great. 00:04:50.260 --> 00:04:55.020 You guys have been in the Psalms for the last few weeks. 00:04:55.140 --> 00:04:56.650 I guess the last couple months, whatever. 00:04:56.780 --> 00:04:59.380 Late summer is in Utah. 00:04:59.700 --> 00:05:06.700 In Florida, late summer goes until Christmas, and then we have like a month of good weather and 00:05:06.700 --> 00:05:09.520 then early summer starts and we're back in it. 00:05:09.700 --> 00:05:11.440 We are also in Psalms, so it's kind of neat. 00:05:12.180 --> 00:05:14.660 this morning I'm going to share with you from Psalm 88. 00:05:14.700 --> 00:05:18.240 I would encourage you guys, go ahead and turn to Psalm 88. 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:25.240 And as you turn, let me give you kind of an overview of a way to look at Psalms. 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:29.420 There's 150 Psalms, and there's really kind of three different categories. 00:05:30.280 --> 00:05:33.280 As you're reading a psalm that each psalm is going to fall into. 00:05:33.340 --> 00:05:39.560 And so this will help you out just in your quiet time as you're in your studying to see what is the background. 00:05:39.560 --> 00:05:46.460 Now the Psalms are the songbook of Israel, and there's really like it's their worship songs. 00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:54.280 But what you find is there's a lot greater Of variety in their subjects of worship than a lot of times what 00:05:54.280 --> 00:05:55.330 we sing in church. 00:05:55.640 --> 00:06:01.000 So the first set of psalms that you'll find, and it's not like the first 50 or this, then the next 50 and the next 50. 00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:03.460 They're really all scattered throughout the Psalms. 00:06:03.660 --> 00:06:07.690 But the first category would be what we would call Psalms of orientation. 00:06:08.980 --> 00:06:16.540 These are the foundational Psalms that tell you about the goodness of God, about how he's ordered creation, and 00:06:16.540 --> 00:06:22.380 essentially like, if you will follow God in God's ways, then you will experience blessing in your life. 00:06:22.380 --> 00:06:24.760 Psalm one is an excellent example of this. 00:06:24.780 --> 00:06:30.770 You know how blessed is the man who does not walk in the ways of the wicked, but instead delights in the law of the Lord. 00:06:31.180 --> 00:06:38.560 And if you will do this, you will be like a tree planted by the waters, with roots that will go down deep and endure the storms and 00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:41.160 leaves and fruit that produces a harvest. 00:06:41.880 --> 00:06:43.600 So, Psalms of orientation. 00:06:43.880 --> 00:06:47.200 We do this with our kids, with some of the songs that we teach our kids. 00:06:47.300 --> 00:06:48.320 You know, Jesus loves me. 00:06:48.320 --> 00:06:50.300 This I know for the Bible tells me so. 00:06:50.300 --> 00:06:51.700 Jesus loves the little children. 00:06:52.220 --> 00:06:59.360 We teach one another theology through our songs, and there's a great section 00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:02.040 of Psalms that teach bedrock theology. 00:07:02.940 --> 00:07:09.980 But if you live in the world, you realize that the world doesn't always work according to that kind of perfect 00:07:09.980 --> 00:07:10.960 plan and model. 00:07:11.080 --> 00:07:16.560 It doesn't always work that if you will, just trust Jesus and follow him, everything will go well in your life. 00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:22.940 You will be protected from all evil, and you will just prosper financially and in your health and in your relationships. 00:07:24.100 --> 00:07:30.480 Sometimes things go wrong and there's a whole genre of psalms for these called psalms of disorientation. 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:35.240 And so just the name is in the, the descriptions and the meaning. 00:07:35.240 --> 00:07:36.320 I'm disoriented. 00:07:36.320 --> 00:07:36.620 Why? 00:07:36.620 --> 00:07:41.720 Because I thought if I followed God this way, then it would work out this way. 00:07:41.940 --> 00:07:44.710 But instead I'm in the middle of suffering. 00:07:44.940 --> 00:07:48.420 I'm in the middle of people betraying me and abandoning me. 00:07:48.500 --> 00:07:51.540 I cannot see where God is in this. 00:07:51.700 --> 00:07:56.160 And there's a whole group of psalms that express this. 00:07:56.160 --> 00:07:59.260 Some of the ones that you know really deeply. 00:07:59.660 --> 00:08:01.200 Think of Psalm 22. 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:03.540 It's the one that Jesus quoted on the cross. 00:08:03.540 --> 00:08:06.240 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? 00:08:06.440 --> 00:08:08.340 And then it goes into, why are you far from me? 00:08:08.340 --> 00:08:09.520 Why can't I hear you? 00:08:09.520 --> 00:08:10.700 I'm hoping for you, God. 00:08:10.700 --> 00:08:11.900 But I don't see you. 00:08:12.040 --> 00:08:13.510 And these psalms of disorientation. 00:08:14.580 --> 00:08:16.200 I found a couple of interesting things. 00:08:16.200 --> 00:08:22.120 Number one, we have very little in the way of modern praise and worship that approaches this. 00:08:22.200 --> 00:08:27.280 You know, we don't get together and sing songs on Sunday that are like, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? 00:08:27.320 --> 00:08:32.020 And it would be a little bit weird if we did, but to be honest, I feel like that sometimes. 00:08:32.700 --> 00:08:33.780 God, where are you? 00:08:33.940 --> 00:08:34.940 What is going on? 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:35.460 Why? 00:08:35.860 --> 00:08:40.440 Why is everything going the opposite of what I thought it would if I followed you? 00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:48.260 And what I love is that God has put in Scripture songs, scripture, psalms that express 00:08:48.260 --> 00:08:49.620 these things in our heart. 00:08:50.060 --> 00:08:55.270 Now, to me, some of the most beautiful songs we're going to, by the way, we're going to look at a psalm of disorientation this morning. 00:08:56.060 --> 00:08:59.860 But to me, I think the most beautiful psalms probably are the last category. 00:08:59.880 --> 00:09:01.280 These are the Psalms of reorientation. 00:09:03.140 --> 00:09:03.940 These are the songs. 00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:08.800 When I have been through the dark waters, I have been through the trials. 00:09:08.800 --> 00:09:12.560 I have experienced deep pain and suffering. 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:15.970 And now I'm on the other side and from the other side. 00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:23.800 When I look back at what I've been through now, I can see that he was with me the whole way, that he was protecting 00:09:23.800 --> 00:09:28.960 me, that he delivered me from the darkness and some great ones with that. 00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:30.440 Psalm 2732. 00:09:30.440 --> 00:09:31.080 Psalm 40. 00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:32.080 Psalm 73. 00:09:32.160 --> 00:09:39.160 As you look at these categories, you'll start finding, once you understand these frameworks, it's pretty easy as you read through a psalm to 00:09:39.160 --> 00:09:44.560 pick out where the writer of the psalm was in here, and that's good to know sometimes. 00:09:44.580 --> 00:09:47.140 Otherwise you can be like, you know what is going on. 00:09:47.140 --> 00:09:54.140 I thought this was supposed to be encouraging, but it is encouraging when you realize that God allows the full 00:09:54.140 --> 00:09:57.480 expression of emotion before him as worship. 00:09:57.600 --> 00:10:01.080 You don't have to fake it in order to pray to God. 00:10:01.660 --> 00:10:05.320 You don't have to like, fluff it up with flowery language. 00:10:05.700 --> 00:10:09.040 You can express the cries of your heart to God. 00:10:09.260 --> 00:10:16.920 As I was looking at this and as I was studying this framework, psalms of orientation, disorientation, and reorientation 00:10:16.920 --> 00:10:22.610 actually reminded me of a gospel tool that we use quite a bit in our church. 00:10:22.880 --> 00:10:24.140 It's called the Three Circles. 00:10:24.740 --> 00:10:26.060 It might be one that you're unfamiliar with. 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:27.480 I would encourage you. 00:10:27.540 --> 00:10:31.400 I'm going to give you a brief overview of it, but I would encourage you write this down. 00:10:31.400 --> 00:10:32.060 Here's your homework. 00:10:33.040 --> 00:10:33.950 go home today. 00:10:34.040 --> 00:10:40.700 And in YouTube, just type in the three circles and there's some really great gospel presentations that come up. 00:10:40.740 --> 00:10:42.420 This thing is so simple and so good. 00:10:42.420 --> 00:10:47.320 We train our five year olds how to go home and share the gospel with their moms and dads using the three circles. 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:54.440 So there's some of these on YouTube that are like done in crayon with little kids sharing it, because it's such a great pictorial way 00:10:54.440 --> 00:10:55.220 to share. 00:10:55.280 --> 00:10:57.960 So let me put up the basic picture here. 00:10:58.080 --> 00:10:59.660 I got to aim at the tissue box. 00:10:59.900 --> 00:11:02.220 I heard, uh oh, too much. 00:11:02.760 --> 00:11:03.300 There we go. 00:11:03.760 --> 00:11:11.410 So let me just briefly give you an overview of it, and I would encourage you again, go back and watch a deeper presentation on this. 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:12.440 first circle, top left. 00:11:12.460 --> 00:11:16.530 When I look at the world, I see evidence all over of God's perfect design. 00:11:16.880 --> 00:11:21.230 I see the way that the earth revolves perfectly around the sun. 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:24.310 You see the order of the moon and the stars of the sky. 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:30.750 We know exactly where they're going to be because they move and they rotate with such incredible mathematical precision. 00:11:31.280 --> 00:11:36.670 I see the way the sun brings light to the world and to the plants. 00:11:36.780 --> 00:11:37.840 It gives them energy. 00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:43.000 I see the way the rains, the water evaporates from the ocean, comes and dumps fresh water on us. 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:44.450 It creates our harvest. 00:11:44.660 --> 00:11:45.610 It gives us food. 00:11:46.340 --> 00:11:52.420 God has surely made this incredible world, and I see evidence of a good God and perfect design all around. 00:11:53.100 --> 00:11:58.640 But I look at the second circle here, and what this represents is reality is that's not all I see. 00:11:59.180 --> 00:12:01.900 I also see a world that is really broken. 00:12:02.980 --> 00:12:08.100 I see it and I feel it, and I experience it every day. 00:12:08.100 --> 00:12:11.250 When I turn on the news, I see wars that are happening. 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:13.140 I see famines that are happening. 00:12:13.140 --> 00:12:15.360 I see people that are suffering and they're starving. 00:12:15.940 --> 00:12:19.780 I experience the way that people have treated me and hurt me. 00:12:19.940 --> 00:12:23.650 And if I'm going to be honest, the way that I've treated and hurt other people. 00:12:23.680 --> 00:12:31.020 And so even though I see some evidence of God's perfect design, I feel disoriented because 00:12:31.020 --> 00:12:32.720 I see a broken world. 00:12:32.780 --> 00:12:38.860 And the question is if there really is a good God and he really did design things good and perfect. 00:12:39.280 --> 00:12:41.020 Why am I living in such brokenness? 00:12:42.260 --> 00:12:43.330 And the answer is sin. 00:12:44.380 --> 00:12:48.720 Sin is when God shows you what to do and you do the opposite. 00:12:48.780 --> 00:12:51.260 You run from God's good and perfect law. 00:12:51.260 --> 00:12:54.060 God's good and perfect design to do your own way. 00:12:54.120 --> 00:12:57.250 And it started in the Garden of Eden with just one rule. 00:12:58.180 --> 00:13:02.120 And they ran from the goodness and protection of God into rebellion. 00:13:02.580 --> 00:13:03.970 And we've been doing it ever since. 00:13:04.820 --> 00:13:07.620 And sin wrecks relationships. 00:13:07.620 --> 00:13:08.680 Sin wrecks the earth. 00:13:09.300 --> 00:13:12.220 Sin wrecks our fellowship with God. 00:13:12.400 --> 00:13:14.100 Now you see all these little squiggly lines up here. 00:13:14.140 --> 00:13:17.620 What that represents is that people don't want to live in brokenness. 00:13:17.720 --> 00:13:21.890 And so people do all kinds of things to try to escape from their brokenness. 00:13:22.660 --> 00:13:25.050 Some people will try to live the hyper perfect life. 00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:32.100 You know, you live in a dysfunctional family and you think, if I just get straight A's, and if I'm the captain of the sports team and I am, 00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:36.300 the head of, I get the key positions in band. 00:13:36.300 --> 00:13:39.220 If I just be perfect in all of these things, it'll work out. 00:13:39.800 --> 00:13:44.200 But that never works and it snaps you into a deeper and darker brokenness. 00:13:44.920 --> 00:13:52.400 Some people think, well, if I just achieve, achieve, achieve, if I, climb the ladder of success, at some point I will feel fulfilled 00:13:52.400 --> 00:13:54.740 and these things won't matter to me. 00:13:54.760 --> 00:13:56.220 But it doesn't work. 00:13:56.260 --> 00:14:02.020 The higher you climb, the further you fall, the emptier you feel and you're stuck in brokenness. 00:14:02.940 --> 00:14:08.710 Some people think that if I just do a bunch of religious things that will make up for it, it'll make up for my sin. 00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:11.140 It'll, it'll balance it out. 00:14:11.460 --> 00:14:14.400 I, I can do good works, and that's going to take care of it. 00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:21.460 But listen, it doesn't matter how many little old ladies you help cross the street, it doesn't matter how many times you 00:14:21.460 --> 00:14:25.090 show up in a church service that doesn't take away the sin. 00:14:25.280 --> 00:14:26.620 It doesn't take away the brokenness. 00:14:27.140 --> 00:14:33.200 And as a matter of fact, the more I try to achieve religious perfection, the darker I feel, the more broken I feel. 00:14:33.520 --> 00:14:38.420 And then some people give up on trying to perfect the brokenness and they just try to escape it. 00:14:38.460 --> 00:14:39.240 They try to numb. 00:14:39.240 --> 00:14:46.240 They self-medicate with drugs, with alcohol, with promiscuous sexual relationships, with gambling, with just 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:53.700 super addiction into video games and hobbies and anything I can do to take my mind off the fact that I'm a wreck and the world's a wrecked. 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:54.460 Guess what? 00:14:54.460 --> 00:14:55.540 It doesn't work. 00:14:55.880 --> 00:15:03.140 You're right in the middle of that brokenness, and the Bible tells us there's only one way out of that trap of sin and 00:15:03.140 --> 00:15:05.960 out of that brokenness, and that's through Jesus Christ. 00:15:05.960 --> 00:15:12.620 And so that third circle there, it's to show us that God Himself took on flesh. 00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:13.760 He entered the world. 00:15:13.760 --> 00:15:17.780 He lived the perfect life, the life that you and I could never live. 00:15:18.820 --> 00:15:22.080 And the Bible says that the wages of sin, the payment of sin, is death. 00:15:22.840 --> 00:15:28.700 And when Jesus died on the cross because he had no sin, he wasn't paying for his own sin. 00:15:29.760 --> 00:15:33.430 He was taking on my sin, and he was taking on your sin and he was paying. 00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:38.820 He was taking on the full wrath of God for every broken and wicked thing that we've done. 00:15:39.940 --> 00:15:42.900 And he died on that cross, and he was buried, but he didn't stay buried. 00:15:42.900 --> 00:15:44.580 On the third day he rose again. 00:15:44.580 --> 00:15:46.910 That arrow there shows that he rose again. 00:15:47.100 --> 00:15:54.240 And when he rose again, it shows and proves that God the Father accepted the payment for sin from Jesus Christ. 00:15:54.760 --> 00:15:58.100 Fully God, fully man, fully taking on our sin. 00:15:58.200 --> 00:16:04.520 And if we put our faith in Jesus Christ, we finally are out of our own wickedness and out of our own sin. 00:16:04.900 --> 00:16:06.680 It doesn't mean that we escape the broken world. 00:16:06.780 --> 00:16:08.860 What it does mean now is we have a new orientation. 00:16:09.260 --> 00:16:12.040 The Bible says if anyone is in Christ, he's a new creature. 00:16:12.140 --> 00:16:13.380 Old things are passed away. 00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:15.330 All things have become new. 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:23.170 And what I have found, and this is what's amazing when I'm in Christ, when I put my faith in Christ, when I trust him, 00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:28.040 God will take the hardest and the worst things that have ever happened in my life. 00:16:28.280 --> 00:16:33.600 And he will heal me and he will use those things for his glory. 00:16:33.960 --> 00:16:36.920 For my good and for the good of the world around me. 00:16:37.760 --> 00:16:39.480 And I know some of you guys have experienced that. 00:16:39.480 --> 00:16:46.540 You've experienced incredible tragedy and terrible things, and then you have, instead of living as a victim for those things 00:16:46.540 --> 00:16:48.760 the rest of your life, you've given them to Jesus. 00:16:49.180 --> 00:16:53.260 And you've watched Jesus use those things to heal other people. 00:16:54.380 --> 00:16:55.390 That's a reorientation. 00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:57.340 So that's a framework. 00:16:57.680 --> 00:17:05.319 And today, since I've given you that happy good news, let's now go to Psalm 88, which is the bleakest psalm in the entire scriptures, 00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:09.160 the darkest one that we can find. 00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:13.050 And as you read it, you might be like, why is this in the Bible? 00:17:13.300 --> 00:17:20.020 It is just it's like being in a depression therapy service that ends in depression. 00:17:20.060 --> 00:17:24.240 So with that encouragement, we should pray that Ask Holy Spirit to teach us this morning. 00:17:24.780 --> 00:17:25.980 God, I thank you for this day. 00:17:25.980 --> 00:17:32.980 I thank you for your word and I pray now as we go into this, that your Holy Spirit be our teacher God, that as we 00:17:32.980 --> 00:17:40.360 look at what you have ordained to be Scripture, even 00:17:40.360 --> 00:17:45.960 though it might be surprising to us, Lord, we would find the surprising goodness of God in the midst of the darkness. 00:17:46.600 --> 00:17:52.970 And I pray for those here who are suffering, who are struggling, who are disoriented, that this would be good news. 00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:54.990 In Jesus name we pray. 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:55.540 Amen. 00:17:56.100 --> 00:17:57.900 All right, guys in the back are going to control this. 00:17:57.960 --> 00:18:05.200 As I read through Psalm 88, O Lord God of my salvation, I cry out to you day and night 00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:06.220 before you. 00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:10.930 My, let my prayer come before you and incline your ear to my cry. 00:18:11.540 --> 00:18:14.840 For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol. 00:18:15.300 --> 00:18:17.920 I am counted among those who go down to the pit. 00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:20.100 And I am a man who has no strength. 00:18:20.620 --> 00:18:27.740 Like one said among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, and like those whom you remember No more. 00:18:27.820 --> 00:18:29.520 They are cut off from your hand. 00:18:30.180 --> 00:18:35.070 You have put me in the depths of the pit and the region's dark and deep. 00:18:35.260 --> 00:18:39.860 Your wrath lies heavy upon me, and you overwhelm me with all your waves. 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:43.420 You have caused my companions to shun me. 00:18:43.420 --> 00:18:45.620 You have made me a horror to them. 00:18:45.900 --> 00:18:48.170 I am shut in so that I cannot escape. 00:18:48.600 --> 00:18:50.540 My eyes grow dim through sorrow. 00:18:51.100 --> 00:18:56.490 Every day I cry upon I call upon you, O Lord, I spread out my hands to you. 00:18:56.760 --> 00:18:58.560 Do you work wonders for the dead? 00:18:58.820 --> 00:19:01.060 Do the departed rise up to praise you? 00:19:01.580 --> 00:19:06.250 Is your steadfast love declared in the grave or your faithfulness in the abandoned? 00:19:07.180 --> 00:19:11.520 Are your wonders known in the darkness or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? 00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:19.580 But I, O Lord, cry to you in the morning my prayer comes before you, O Lord, why do you cast my soul away? 00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:24.340 Why do you hide your face from me, afflicted and close to death from my youth? 00:19:24.340 --> 00:19:27.070 Up I suffer your terrors, I am helpless. 00:19:27.700 --> 00:19:29.240 Your wrath has swept over me. 00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:31.820 Your dreadful assaults destroy me. 00:19:31.880 --> 00:19:34.300 They surround me like a flood all day long. 00:19:34.340 --> 00:19:36.110 And they close in on me together. 00:19:36.760 --> 00:19:39.860 You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me. 00:19:40.020 --> 00:19:43.310 And my companions have become darkness. 00:19:43.840 --> 00:19:44.360 The end. 00:19:46.630 --> 00:19:50.860 I believe it's the King James translation that last line says. 00:19:50.860 --> 00:19:52.780 And darkness is my only friend. 00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:02.890 I got serious about my faith in Jesus when I was 18 years old, and that was when I committed to start reading the Bible daily. 00:20:03.520 --> 00:20:06.090 For the first time, I put my faith in Jesus. 00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:10.580 At six, I know I belong to him, but I didn't really get serious about it until 18. 00:20:12.080 --> 00:20:18.940 So from 18 to 27, 28 years old, man, I'd read through the whole Bible several times. 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:26.490 I had certainly read this Psalm a number of times, but it wasn't until 2005 that this really came alive to me. 00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:28.780 In 2005, I was married. 00:20:28.820 --> 00:20:30.630 I was a youth pastor in West Virginia. 00:20:31.620 --> 00:20:33.900 I had Tyler was in my youth group. 00:20:34.760 --> 00:20:36.420 I don't remember if Laura's family was there at that time or not. 00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:41.380 Nathaniel and Stacy had graduated from there. 00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:46.920 my wife and I, Christy, we wanted to go to India to be missionaries, but instead she got sick. 00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:52.780 And as we kept trying to take steps to go to India to be missionaries, she got sicker and sicker and sicker. 00:20:53.260 --> 00:20:59.180 And as she got sick and as the treatments didn't work, the pressure inside our household got greater and greater. 00:20:59.340 --> 00:21:03.600 And I experienced the worst marriage troubles of my life. 00:21:04.840 --> 00:21:12.260 And it was really weird because it's like I, I, I'm planning on going to be a missionary in India or 00:21:12.260 --> 00:21:13.440 I might be divorced. 00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:14.720 What in the world is going on? 00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:18.020 And it just felt like bomb after bomb after bomb was going off. 00:21:19.560 --> 00:21:26.920 And it all came to a head in October of 2005, when instead of us getting to live in the like, we had made up, 00:21:26.980 --> 00:21:30.240 we had, had our peace with one another. 00:21:31.360 --> 00:21:38.500 And I'm thinking we're going to get to walk through this and have restoration and figure out what life and ministry is, because India was off the table with her sickness, 00:21:38.940 --> 00:21:40.470 but instead in living in that restoration. 00:21:40.860 --> 00:21:47.440 Instead, I found myself doing CPR on my dead wife on the floor of her mom's kitchen. 00:21:49.700 --> 00:21:57.240 And over that next week, friends and family, old, old people that had been in our youth ministry that we had loved and cared for, 00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:03.960 they came in from all over the country and they stayed with me, and they loved me and my little three year old girl. 00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:10.320 And then at the end of that time, we do the funeral and everybody has to go back to their life. 00:22:10.340 --> 00:22:17.460 And there was one guy who had been friends with who lived out of state, and his church had actually said, hey, instead of going for 00:22:17.460 --> 00:22:22.660 the funeral, why don't you wait until everybody's leaving and then go spend time with Jade? 00:22:22.660 --> 00:22:24.120 Because he might need it then. 00:22:25.340 --> 00:22:32.470 And I remember being in my living room, and this was probably two weeks, three weeks after Christy died and just unloading. 00:22:32.820 --> 00:22:39.540 And I was a slobbery, angry, vomiting mess of just emotion and words. 00:22:40.540 --> 00:22:47.350 And my friend Virgil just sat there quietly in a chair as I spewed and I spewed and I spewed. 00:22:47.380 --> 00:22:53.980 And finally, when it was done in silence, I remember looking up and saying, man, I know that doesn't sound really pastoral, does it? 00:22:54.380 --> 00:22:56.580 And he said, actually, it just sounds like Psalm 88. 00:22:58.380 --> 00:23:05.160 And for the first time, I really read Psalm 88, and it felt like me. 00:23:06.700 --> 00:23:13.860 And I got so much encouragement out of the fact that God would allow in His Word in the 00:23:13.860 --> 00:23:21.100 Holy Spirit inspired Word of God, Something that had no flowery language in it had 00:23:21.100 --> 00:23:21.500 no. 00:23:21.560 --> 00:23:28.560 But I know you're going to work this all for good, but instead ended in darkness because I was in darkness. 00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:35.660 There is a statue, a bronze statue in Switzerland. 00:23:36.760 --> 00:23:40.880 The artist's name is Albert Gyorgy and the statue is called melancholy. 00:23:42.940 --> 00:23:47.340 He built this after his wife passed away. 00:23:48.900 --> 00:23:50.630 And when you look at it, you don't need a lot of description. 00:23:51.420 --> 00:23:52.280 It's pretty obvious. 00:23:52.340 --> 00:23:55.080 And I know in this room many of you guys have felt like this. 00:23:55.080 --> 00:24:02.240 You have felt that gaping empty hole inside you and you're 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:02.880 going to. 00:24:06.040 --> 00:24:11.160 And there's a lot of versions of Christianity that are being sold. 00:24:12.220 --> 00:24:19.400 I really think they're being sold because they want people to give money that basically say, if you will come to Jesus, he'll take away all 00:24:19.400 --> 00:24:23.180 your problems and you will prosper, and you will have health and you will have wealth. 00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:31.840 And if anything bad happens in your life, it's because you're, you've taken your eyes off Jesus and you don't have faith. 00:24:31.860 --> 00:24:34.320 And that is a lie from the pit of hell. 00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:41.020 When you come to Christ, you don't get zapped out of this world that we live in. 00:24:42.980 --> 00:24:48.450 When you come to Jesus, you have Jesus, but you are still going to walk through darkness. 00:24:48.620 --> 00:24:55.620 And so this morning, just in the last few minutes we have together, I want to give you some insights from Psalm 88 and from walking through 00:24:55.620 --> 00:24:58.100 multiple periods of darkness in my own life. 00:24:58.420 --> 00:25:02.050 When darkness is your only friend, you need to honestly grieve. 00:25:03.300 --> 00:25:04.340 You need to honestly grieve. 00:25:04.340 --> 00:25:06.640 You need to stop acting like everything's okay. 00:25:07.360 --> 00:25:12.900 In the Old Testament, when somebody would die, they would basically stop life for 40 days. 00:25:13.600 --> 00:25:17.880 In our modern culture, if somebody passes away, we have the funeral. 00:25:18.180 --> 00:25:19.900 It's all done in a week, maybe ten days. 00:25:19.900 --> 00:25:24.390 If people are coming in from out of town and then you're supposed to go like back on with your life as if everything is normal. 00:25:25.380 --> 00:25:30.240 And it is disorienting because death is awful. 00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:31.280 Death is wrecking. 00:25:31.580 --> 00:25:32.940 But it's not just death. 00:25:33.060 --> 00:25:34.960 Some of you all have suffered. 00:25:35.960 --> 00:25:36.970 You have been betrayed. 00:25:37.460 --> 00:25:39.490 You have been abandoned, you have been abused. 00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:44.800 And these things are wicked and you need to be able to grieve. 00:25:44.860 --> 00:25:47.520 And I had a friend one time who explained it like this. 00:25:47.540 --> 00:25:54.540 He called it the grief monster and he would say, the grief monster will come and we'll start knocking on your door at the most inconvenient 00:25:54.540 --> 00:25:55.190 times. 00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:00.150 And if you ignore it, that knock just gets louder and louder. 00:26:00.900 --> 00:26:03.420 But if you will open the door, you'll stop what you're doing. 00:26:03.420 --> 00:26:07.180 You'll open the door and you'll come and you'll let the grief monster come sit in your living room. 00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:10.140 He'll kind of get bored and he'll get up and leave. 00:26:11.060 --> 00:26:11.430 No, he doesn't leave forever. 00:26:11.820 --> 00:26:12.680 He's going to come back again. 00:26:12.820 --> 00:26:20.160 But if you will make that a practice when the grief monster starts knocking to be honest and open and grieve the 00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:25.780 grief, instead of being a monster that controls you, actually ends up being a pathway to healing. 00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:31.560 So when you're in darkness and darkness is your only friend, you need to honestly grieve. 00:26:31.620 --> 00:26:32.860 You need to cry out. 00:26:34.360 --> 00:26:38.480 This psalm gives you so much permission in how you cry out to God. 00:26:40.900 --> 00:26:42.380 You also need to cry out to others. 00:26:42.460 --> 00:26:45.170 We have this weird habit in American culture of how you doing? 00:26:45.520 --> 00:26:48.920 You know, like you pass people and they're like, hey, how are you doing as you keep on walking? 00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:51.860 And have you ever found like somebody if you actually stop it? 00:26:51.880 --> 00:26:57.280 Or maybe, maybe you've said that and then somebody actually starts telling you how they're doing, you're like, oh, whoa, I didn't mean that. 00:26:58.720 --> 00:26:59.750 I just meant hi. 00:27:00.220 --> 00:27:01.780 So but we say, how are you doing? 00:27:01.780 --> 00:27:03.570 But we don't want to know how somebody is doing. 00:27:04.600 --> 00:27:08.500 But when you are in darkness, you need to be honest with how you're doing. 00:27:08.500 --> 00:27:09.940 People need to know that. 00:27:10.040 --> 00:27:12.840 And it doesn't mean you have to walk around in a perpetual pity party. 00:27:12.940 --> 00:27:19.070 But you can be like, I'm really struggling, I'm having a hard time and I just need to let somebody know. 00:27:20.020 --> 00:27:23.190 But the last thing is you need to wait and watch. 00:27:24.340 --> 00:27:25.020 Wait and watch. 00:27:25.320 --> 00:27:32.360 I said that this is the most hopeless psalm, but it's really I mean, you don't get one verse 00:27:32.360 --> 00:27:34.720 into it without the hope really being there. 00:27:34.780 --> 00:27:34.960 Why? 00:27:34.960 --> 00:27:36.470 Because how does it start out? 00:27:36.520 --> 00:27:40.740 It starts out with, O Lord God of my salvation. 00:27:40.740 --> 00:27:48.040 I cry out to you day and night, and you don't cry out and spew and rant 00:27:48.040 --> 00:27:49.900 at somebody unless you think they're there. 00:27:52.060 --> 00:27:53.740 You know, you parents. 00:27:53.740 --> 00:27:58.700 And if you're not parents, you kids, there's probably times where you have just unloaded on mom and dad. 00:28:00.140 --> 00:28:00.800 And why do you do it? 00:28:00.820 --> 00:28:02.300 Because, they're going to stay around. 00:28:03.740 --> 00:28:06.520 And in some ways, that's the same thing with God. 00:28:06.580 --> 00:28:10.250 Like, you can be honest, you can be open because he's not going anywhere. 00:28:11.220 --> 00:28:12.110 He's not going anywhere. 00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:14.420 So you can wait and you can watch. 00:28:14.460 --> 00:28:15.000 Why? 00:28:15.080 --> 00:28:16.550 Because he is actually there. 00:28:16.820 --> 00:28:20.140 There's a beautiful quote that I'll put up here from Walter Brueggemann. 00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:21.440 In the message of the Psalms. 00:28:22.360 --> 00:28:29.060 It says, the reason that darkness may be faced and lived in is that even in darkness there is one to address. 00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:32.500 He is in the darkness with us, but not a part of the darkness. 00:28:32.540 --> 00:28:34.290 Because he is in the darkness. 00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:41.510 We find the darkness transformed not by the power of easy light, but by the power of relentless solidarity. 00:28:43.120 --> 00:28:45.210 These are where the Psalms of orientation come in. 00:28:45.260 --> 00:28:47.500 Last week Nathaniel preached on Psalm 139. 00:28:47.520 --> 00:28:48.380 And what does it say? 00:28:48.620 --> 00:28:50.130 It says, where can I go from your spirit? 00:28:50.280 --> 00:28:51.710 Where can I flee from your presence? 00:28:51.740 --> 00:28:53.020 If I go to heaven, you are there. 00:28:53.300 --> 00:28:54.960 If I go to the grave, you're there. 00:28:55.200 --> 00:29:01.580 If I ascend the wings of the morning or dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there you're with me, God, and your right hand will lay hold of me. 00:29:01.700 --> 00:29:06.860 If I say, surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the night around me, the light around me will become night. 00:29:07.140 --> 00:29:13.920 Behold, even the darkness is not dark to you, and the night is as bright as day, for darkness and light are alike to you. 00:29:15.360 --> 00:29:18.640 Just because it's dark doesn't mean he is not there. 00:29:19.940 --> 00:29:24.340 And just because you can't see Jesus doesn't mean he can't see you. 00:29:24.460 --> 00:29:25.560 He can always see you. 00:29:26.420 --> 00:29:27.740 What is Psalm 23 say? 00:29:28.300 --> 00:29:31.980 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. 00:29:31.980 --> 00:29:32.340 Why? 00:29:32.340 --> 00:29:35.210 Because you're going to protect me from all bad things, and I'll never suffer. 00:29:35.320 --> 00:29:37.700 No, because you are with me. 00:29:38.520 --> 00:29:39.620 Because you are with me. 00:29:40.560 --> 00:29:43.290 And if you only remember one thing from this morning, I hope you remember this. 00:29:43.380 --> 00:29:50.340 The presence of Jesus in the midst of suffering and struggle is the normal Christian experience. 00:29:51.080 --> 00:29:52.720 It's the normal Christian experience. 00:29:54.120 --> 00:29:58.920 As a Christian, you're going to suffer and struggle, and you're going to be surrounded by people that suffer and struggle. 00:29:59.500 --> 00:30:01.200 It's not the exception to the rule. 00:30:01.200 --> 00:30:05.010 Like we still live in a broken world and it's going to be the normal Christian Experience. 00:30:06.120 --> 00:30:08.610 So suffering and struggling is going to be the normal Christian experience. 00:30:10.540 --> 00:30:13.670 But the presence of Jesus is also going to be the normal Christian experience. 00:30:14.020 --> 00:30:18.540 And so let me share this passage with you. 00:30:18.540 --> 00:30:20.970 And then and then one other thought I want to give you. 00:30:21.320 --> 00:30:28.460 Second Corinthians chapter one, verses three through four says, praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father 00:30:28.460 --> 00:30:35.700 of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can 00:30:35.700 --> 00:30:40.600 comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:48.740 So praise the God of all comfort, because he comforts us, but he comforts us not for our end, but so that we might be instruments 00:30:48.740 --> 00:30:50.660 of comfort to other people. 00:30:51.120 --> 00:30:58.300 As I was walking through the grieving and healing of the loss of my wife, which, again, is just it's not the only it 00:30:58.300 --> 00:31:02.070 was just the biggest and probably the first giant suffering in my life. 00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:09.980 What I found was the people that were most helpful to me were the people who had experienced the depths of suffering, the depths of hurt, 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:12.440 and they never came to me with an easy answer. 00:31:13.280 --> 00:31:15.900 They never said, oh, well, I did this and this is how I got over it. 00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:17.760 Instead, they just sat with me. 00:31:18.840 --> 00:31:25.900 They were present with me, and the fact that I could see that they weren't in that same spot still, that there was life on the 00:31:25.900 --> 00:31:31.310 other side of the tragedy, gave me hope that maybe there'll be life for me on the other side of the tragedy. 00:31:31.560 --> 00:31:31.980 Why? 00:31:31.980 --> 00:31:35.710 Because the God of all comfort had comforted them, and they were there to comfort me. 00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:44.580 And so when you're in the midst of suffering and struggle now, remember, suffering and struggle are the normal Christian experience. 00:31:44.620 --> 00:31:49.210 So you are either going to be personally struggling and suffering. 00:31:50.120 --> 00:31:53.260 I know this like real pick me up happy go lucky message, right? 00:31:53.460 --> 00:31:59.520 You're going to be in the midst of suffering and struggling, or you are going to be next to somebody who is suffering and struggling. 00:31:59.940 --> 00:32:00.900 And often that's the case. 00:32:00.940 --> 00:32:04.060 I don't want you to run from it when you're in the midst of it. 00:32:04.180 --> 00:32:05.610 Here's what I encourage you to do. 00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:08.540 Embrace the presence of Jesus through others. 00:32:11.060 --> 00:32:15.400 You know how often, like we say something like, Where is God in this? 00:32:15.460 --> 00:32:22.720 And we're going on and on and we're ranting and raving, and we're doing it to a follower of Jesus who is right before us, who is loving us 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:25.140 so well through the midst of what we're doing. 00:32:25.160 --> 00:32:26.320 And it's like, where is God? 00:32:26.320 --> 00:32:31.590 All of this right in front of you and the person who's with you and the person who's talking to you. 00:32:31.780 --> 00:32:32.500 Where is God? 00:32:32.500 --> 00:32:34.360 He is here in his word. 00:32:35.480 --> 00:32:38.480 And thank God that the gospel story is so clear. 00:32:38.520 --> 00:32:39.480 But thank God also. 00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:45.460 You have things like Psalm 88 where you don't have to bubble, you don't have to hide. 00:32:45.460 --> 00:32:46.480 You don't have to pretend. 00:32:47.820 --> 00:32:49.400 When you're in the midst of suffering and struggle. 00:32:49.860 --> 00:32:54.800 Embrace the presence of Jesus through others because he is sending them to you. 00:32:56.040 --> 00:32:57.320 He is sending them to you. 00:32:57.460 --> 00:33:01.480 And then if you happen to not be in a place of suffering and struggle right now. 00:33:02.360 --> 00:33:06.790 Remember that people around you are to be the presence of Jesus to others. 00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:09.380 Be the presence of Jesus to others. 00:33:09.500 --> 00:33:11.260 The comfort that you've been given. 00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:13.060 Turn around and offer that to other people. 00:33:13.060 --> 00:33:14.730 Be the presence of Jesus to others. 00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:17.390 But I want to add one more to that. 00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:24.920 Sometimes you are in the midst of suffering and struggle, and man, it's so good to be honest with where you are. 00:33:24.980 --> 00:33:31.960 It's so good to be going to God's Word, to be finding psalms of praise and psalms of despair. 00:33:33.060 --> 00:33:35.890 But the other thing that you have an opportunity to do, and this is really powerful. 00:33:38.260 --> 00:33:44.640 Don't get so self-centered in the midst of your suffering and struggle, that you forget that people around you are also struggling and suffering. 00:33:46.180 --> 00:33:53.400 And I imagine when we get to heaven, if God does anything like playing a videotape back of your life of how he 00:33:53.400 --> 00:34:00.400 used you, I would imagine that some of the most powerful times that God will ever use you is when you are 00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:03.930 in the midst of what you feel like is the dark night of the soul. 00:34:04.540 --> 00:34:11.719 And you look up and you see somebody else who's broken, somebody else who's hurting, and you offer the little light of comfort that you have, 00:34:12.600 --> 00:34:19.600 because there is nothing that speaks to the power of the gospel, like a wounded, hurting person who still has enough hope to hand 00:34:19.600 --> 00:34:21.100 out hope to somebody else. 00:34:22.380 --> 00:34:23.150 God is real. 00:34:24.120 --> 00:34:25.060 God loves you. 00:34:25.060 --> 00:34:26.239 His word is true. 00:34:26.560 --> 00:34:33.040 He is with you, and he is especially present with you in the people that he brings into your life. 00:34:33.080 --> 00:34:36.969 So embrace it, be it and look. 00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:41.880 The darkest Psalm in the Bible really is one of the greatest psalms of hope that you could possibly have. 00:34:41.880 --> 00:34:43.080 So live in that hope. 00:34:43.080 --> 00:34:43.790 Live in that joy.