WEBVTT 00:00:00.300 --> 00:00:03.760 The last few weeks we've been on a marriage or a series called Once Upon a Marriage. 00:00:03.860 --> 00:00:11.080 It's obviously a marriage series, a actually a family series, looking into what God has for us in marriage 00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:18.180 and establishing what God has set up as the ideal in marriage, and 00:00:18.180 --> 00:00:23.400 then dealing with the reality that the ideal that God has for us in marriage is often far off. 00:00:24.460 --> 00:00:30.470 That the reality of our marriage is are far from sometimes and often far from the ideal of what God desires. 00:00:30.860 --> 00:00:35.700 And so these last few weeks, we've been going and diving into Ephesians chapter five and six. 00:00:35.740 --> 00:00:41.500 If you have a Bible with you this morning, I encourage you to open up your word to Ephesians five and of five. 00:00:42.020 --> 00:00:43.560 And we're going to be into chapter six today. 00:00:44.220 --> 00:00:48.530 We also will have the verses on the screen for you if you desire to do that as well. 00:00:49.400 --> 00:00:57.540 But here there is where Paul, the apostle Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus, and he, declares 00:00:57.540 --> 00:01:04.920 under the submission the Christian Living section of that letter, he starts delving into the family 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:09.400 and marriage and children and what that's supposed to look like, what God's ideal is for that. 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:11.000 And he calls us to that. 00:01:11.060 --> 00:01:13.960 And so the last few weeks, we've covered husbands love your wives. 00:01:14.060 --> 00:01:21.880 That's what God is calling us to do have self-sacrificial love or selfless, sacrificial love to 00:01:21.880 --> 00:01:28.920 our wives and lay down our lives for them in serving them and nurturing them, and 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:36.320 providing an atmosphere in our homes in which the Lord and the Holy Spirit is welcome and people can thrive. 00:01:36.360 --> 00:01:42.740 Our family members, our children, and our wives can thrive, in the gospel, in the midst of our homes. 00:01:43.360 --> 00:01:50.480 And then secondly, Nathaniel touched on last week, wives, submit to your husbands the importance of the roles that God has 00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:57.640 established in marriage and how, just as God is a triune God and they're 00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:00.350 co-equal, all three persons are co-equal with one another. 00:02:00.440 --> 00:02:05.440 There's a role that each one plays, and submission is part of that. 00:02:05.460 --> 00:02:12.460 And so that is a key and instrumental in the institution of marriage that God has established for us to understand the roles 00:02:12.460 --> 00:02:18.920 that are being played and understand that submission is not the ugly word that society has redefined it to be today. 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:22.400 But yet it's a beautiful thing in light of the gospel and of God. 00:02:23.340 --> 00:02:26.320 And then this morning, we're going to cover the last two points here. 00:02:26.380 --> 00:02:27.540 Children, obey your parents. 00:02:28.980 --> 00:02:34.480 I teach the ten and 11 year olds, and I emailed Richie, he's the leader over the Sunday school. 00:02:34.480 --> 00:02:37.480 And I said, hey, can we keep the ten and 11 year olds in second service? 00:02:38.620 --> 00:02:39.870 I want to teach to them here. 00:02:40.540 --> 00:02:42.360 And so I can tell him, you need to obey your parents. 00:02:42.640 --> 00:02:43.440 Right. 00:02:43.640 --> 00:02:44.770 And we're going to be touching on that today. 00:02:44.920 --> 00:02:46.280 And we're also touching on parents. 00:02:46.480 --> 00:02:47.600 Don't crush your kids. 00:02:47.760 --> 00:02:49.460 And that's all found in Scripture. 00:02:49.460 --> 00:02:50.740 And we're going to be delving into those things. 00:02:51.540 --> 00:02:56.800 And before we do, I just want to touch on this thing here, this kind of a recap of what Paul's doing. 00:02:56.800 --> 00:03:04.180 We're diving into Ephesians chapter five, and he declares in verse 25, husbands, love your wives, just as 00:03:04.180 --> 00:03:08.020 Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. 00:03:08.920 --> 00:03:11.140 And a couple of weeks ago we went over what the church is. 00:03:11.160 --> 00:03:13.000 There's lots of definitions of what the church is. 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:19.540 And so we went back and defined the terms that Paul was using, which is the called out ones, those who hear the gospel message that Christ died for them. 00:03:19.580 --> 00:03:26.700 And if they turn from whatever they're placing their faith in to get them to a relationship with 00:03:26.700 --> 00:03:34.460 their creator, if they turn from that and just trust in Jesus Christ accomplished vicarious, sacrificial work alone, they 00:03:34.460 --> 00:03:35.120 will be saved. 00:03:37.480 --> 00:03:42.280 And that's the gospel message, and that's what it's all about. 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:50.760 And those who believe and trust in that message are added to the body, 00:03:50.760 --> 00:03:57.800 which is the word church is the ecclesia, the called out ones that are called out from the world because they've heard the gospel message. 00:03:58.020 --> 00:04:05.240 In Christ comes vicarious work that allows them to be called out from the world, out, as Ephesians two says, becoming 00:04:05.240 --> 00:04:08.180 out of the children of wrath and into the gospel of light. 00:04:09.460 --> 00:04:16.680 They are adopted into God's family and all those every tribe, nation, and tongue who hear that gospel message and turn from what they're practicing 00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:20.440 and cling to the cross of Christ, are added to the church. 00:04:21.459 --> 00:04:23.580 And that's the church that Christ has died for. 00:04:24.760 --> 00:04:32.080 And that's what Paul, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is calling husbands to do for 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:35.410 their families to lay their lives down, for their wives and for their children. 00:04:36.780 --> 00:04:43.960 He goes on to say, for no one ever hates his own flesh, but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members 00:04:43.960 --> 00:04:44.800 of his body. 00:04:46.840 --> 00:04:51.520 And then he quotes this Old Testament verse back in Genesis 224. 00:04:51.520 --> 00:04:57.060 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 00:04:57.880 --> 00:04:59.050 I just want to touch on this briefly. 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:07.320 Nathaniel brought up a great point last week about, what the society and the culture in which 00:05:07.320 --> 00:05:14.400 Paul was speaking to about how, even as today, society would call submission to husbands as an 00:05:14.400 --> 00:05:15.020 ugly thing. 00:05:16.600 --> 00:05:18.560 It was the same back in those days. 00:05:18.660 --> 00:05:22.620 It was a time in which women had no rights. 00:05:22.660 --> 00:05:25.800 And I have this commentary here by James Montgomery Boice. 00:05:25.820 --> 00:05:27.290 I just want to read a few of the passages. 00:05:27.940 --> 00:05:33.100 He's talking about the what it was like for those people, those of that society at that time. 00:05:34.260 --> 00:05:35.950 And he first he talks about the Jewish people. 00:05:38.040 --> 00:05:39.940 Remember where he's quoting the Old Testament here. 00:05:41.980 --> 00:05:46.120 So you would think the Jewish people had a better idea of what marriage was all about. 00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:49.220 But at the time of Paul, this is what it looked like for the Jewish woman. 00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:51.920 She was not a person, but a thing. 00:05:53.160 --> 00:05:57.820 A woman had no legal rights whatever, and a wife could be dismissed at will. 00:05:58.900 --> 00:06:03.780 Moreover, a woman had no right of divorce, and a man could divorce simply by giving his wife a bill of divorcement. 00:06:04.840 --> 00:06:08.560 That is a simple written statement that he had divorced her, so she couldn't. 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:09.900 But he could do it at any time. 00:06:11.440 --> 00:06:15.510 And the result of that during this society was the result was the marriage was in peril. 00:06:16.420 --> 00:06:22.280 And in Judea, in Israel, in that area, those practicing Jews in that area. 00:06:22.960 --> 00:06:30.120 And Barclay, who's another, theologian, that voice is quoting from notes 00:06:30.120 --> 00:06:34.180 that Jewish girls were refusing to marry at all because of their uncertain position. 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:37.450 Why should I get married and be subject to the whims of some man? 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:40.070 And so that's what it looked like for them. 00:06:40.080 --> 00:06:40.570 And then Rome. 00:06:41.020 --> 00:06:48.860 Rome, society claims back in the day the Roman Empire and their, great enlightenment and their great 00:06:50.080 --> 00:06:57.100 gains in knowledge and reason and, divorcing themselves of the supernatural and the other worldly things and instead 00:06:57.100 --> 00:07:04.700 using one's mind and all these noble things that these noble men can do to gain reason and define 00:07:04.700 --> 00:07:09.300 their presuppositions of life, who they are and what they are for and what they're made of. 00:07:10.140 --> 00:07:16.810 And then this great thing that history and culture declares this great, marvelous thing of the Roman culture, being able to use mind and reasoning. 00:07:17.440 --> 00:07:21.830 This is what it was like for those the women that were in that society. 00:07:22.840 --> 00:07:23.430 And what of Rome? 00:07:23.580 --> 00:07:25.760 Rome was the sewer of the ancient world. 00:07:25.860 --> 00:07:28.780 For the first 500 years of the Republic, divorce was unheard of. 00:07:28.780 --> 00:07:32.960 But at the time of Paul, women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married. 00:07:34.340 --> 00:07:35.180 Marital. 00:07:36.320 --> 00:07:39.440 Martel tells of a woman who had ten husbands. 00:07:39.620 --> 00:07:40.140 Juvenile. 00:07:40.200 --> 00:07:44.740 These are all historians of the time, tells of one who had eight husbands and five years. 00:07:44.780 --> 00:07:45.940 Jerome tells of the Roman. 00:07:47.760 --> 00:07:55.160 Jerome tells of the Roman matron who was married to her 23rd husband, and she was his 21st wife. 00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:58.540 Sexual perversion was rampant and widespread. 00:07:59.380 --> 00:08:01.680 Then he goes on to quote Barclay again, this theologian, he says. 00:08:02.080 --> 00:08:09.520 Barclay says it was against this background that Paul writes, When Paul wrote this most lovely passage, he was not simply restating 00:08:09.520 --> 00:08:11.480 the view that every man held. 00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:15.520 In fact, it was contrary to the view that every man held. 00:08:17.080 --> 00:08:25.780 He was calling men and women to a new fidelity and a new purity, and a new fellowship in the married life, because 00:08:25.780 --> 00:08:27.000 of the gospel of Christ. 00:08:28.620 --> 00:08:34.720 And Boyce goes on to say, so that's kind of the background, the culture in which Paul is writing this. 00:08:34.919 --> 00:08:42.039 Boyce goes on to say his point was Berkeley was right in some ways, but he was wrong in another because it wasn't a new fidelity that he 00:08:42.039 --> 00:08:43.100 was calling them to. 00:08:44.380 --> 00:08:46.120 It was established from the beginning. 00:08:47.100 --> 00:08:51.440 This fidelity and this high view of marriage was established at the beginning of time. 00:08:52.620 --> 00:08:58.680 Paul wasn't calling them to a new, elevated relationship and marriage. 00:08:58.700 --> 00:09:05.820 He was recalling them to what God had already established co-equality and marriage submission to one another in marriage. 00:09:06.880 --> 00:09:09.200 These are the things in which God had established. 00:09:10.080 --> 00:09:17.160 And just as in Paul's time, society can take these beautiful things that God has established and declare them and 00:09:17.620 --> 00:09:18.800 redefine them to be whatever. 00:09:20.820 --> 00:09:26.110 Children of this time were born, and the Roman husband were to come into the room and see the baby. 00:09:26.640 --> 00:09:31.780 He would inspect the baby, and if he didn't like the baby, he would just turn his back on him and walk away. 00:09:31.820 --> 00:09:33.190 And that baby was discarded. 00:09:34.300 --> 00:09:35.630 It wasn't God's design for marriage. 00:09:36.440 --> 00:09:42.400 And so my point is that it doesn't matter what society is doing. 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:50.920 Just back, as in the day of Paul, society had things really massively wrong is their view and definition of 00:09:50.940 --> 00:09:53.080 what it meant to be married and have children. 00:09:55.420 --> 00:10:00.660 But he was calling the people of the way, the people of Jesus Christ, the believers, the members of the church. 00:10:01.180 --> 00:10:08.320 He was calling them back to live the higher principles of marriage that God had established, the living 00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:14.040 out, the high standard that God has established in face of what society around them was telling them. 00:10:16.160 --> 00:10:21.700 That's an amazing thing, and that's what we're called to do. 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:29.580 The scriptures were preserved and the Holy Spirit is, preserved God's Word for 00:10:29.580 --> 00:10:29.820 us. 00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:30.780 And then we can look into that. 00:10:30.800 --> 00:10:38.880 And we could see that those who are of the way, who are following Christ, or are members of the Christ's body, need to go 00:10:38.880 --> 00:10:42.400 back and be recalled to the higher ways of living. 00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:50.680 You know, I'm taking a world history course for my degree that I've yet to graduate with online, but 00:10:50.680 --> 00:10:51.450 it's been fascinating. 00:10:52.100 --> 00:10:57.780 It's, I just, I it saddens it saddens me greatly, actually. 00:10:57.940 --> 00:11:05.060 You see the history and you see just all this history of mankind fighting one another and murdering one another in the name of 00:11:05.060 --> 00:11:12.220 God and the name of progress and the name of humanity, all these different things, people just being incessantly mean 00:11:12.220 --> 00:11:19.460 and callous and, unfriendly and just genocide, all 00:11:19.460 --> 00:11:20.180 these things happening. 00:11:20.380 --> 00:11:27.060 And it just saddens me because we see and understand through the principles found in God's Word that it certainly wasn't God's intention. 00:11:28.620 --> 00:11:35.740 And it can be overwhelming because we see today, despite our scientific progress, despite all these technology gains that society has had and the reason and 00:11:35.740 --> 00:11:41.780 all these things that we so acclaim, genocide is happening around this world. 00:11:43.260 --> 00:11:50.580 Sexual slave trade is just amazingly out of control in other parts of the of the world, 00:11:51.460 --> 00:11:52.440 all these different things. 00:11:53.740 --> 00:12:00.350 And it can become overwhelming because we know that's not what God is, desire for his creation. 00:12:02.180 --> 00:12:04.360 And we can say to ourselves, well, you can't really do anything. 00:12:04.560 --> 00:12:07.520 It just kind of seems like our sphere of influence is only so big. 00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:09.460 But we can do something. 00:12:11.140 --> 00:12:12.120 We can do something. 00:12:12.460 --> 00:12:13.560 We do have a sphere of influence. 00:12:15.760 --> 00:12:22.810 God is calling us back to living our lives out in a way that honors him. 00:12:23.400 --> 00:12:30.560 He's calling us back in our marriages to this higher principle, to, live 00:12:30.560 --> 00:12:36.370 our love, our wives, and to serve our families in a way that honors God and worships him. 00:12:37.700 --> 00:12:38.780 And that is what we can do. 00:12:39.980 --> 00:12:47.520 Our sphere of influence is large and great, and in the midst of our families, and as children or people of the way, that's 00:12:47.520 --> 00:12:48.660 what God's calling us to do. 00:12:49.780 --> 00:12:56.800 To start right now in whatever's wrong with the marriage, is to turn to God and begin to bridge the gap from the ideal to the real 00:12:57.820 --> 00:13:04.220 and allow his grace to do a work in our in the midst of our homes and of our hearts first and in our homes, so that he might be glorified. 00:13:04.660 --> 00:13:05.260 That's what we can do. 00:13:06.560 --> 00:13:08.040 We can live for God. 00:13:09.760 --> 00:13:17.460 And it doesn't matter what society is saying around us, we have the ideal preserved to us in the in the word, and we can attempt 00:13:17.460 --> 00:13:19.720 to live it out by the grace and power of the Lord Jesus Christ. 00:13:20.760 --> 00:13:21.620 And that's ultimately what it is. 00:13:21.620 --> 00:13:26.160 Verse 32 there says, this mystery is profound, but I'm talking about Christ in the church. 00:13:27.100 --> 00:13:34.140 So a mystery, a mystery is something, a truth that has been concealed in the Old Testament times and through 00:13:34.140 --> 00:13:37.840 the progression of history and God's progressive revelation, he starts in the creation. 00:13:38.360 --> 00:13:39.720 And revelation is the end. 00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:43.760 We know the entire story of God's progressive plan of salvation. 00:13:44.240 --> 00:13:44.730 For the world. 00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:51.960 It's been completed and we see this mystery. 00:13:52.520 --> 00:13:59.540 Paul has declares five different mysteries in the New Testament in his writings, and this is one of them, a truth that has was concealed in the 00:13:59.540 --> 00:14:01.680 Old Testament times, but has now been revealed in the new. 00:14:02.680 --> 00:14:06.180 And that is this profound mystery that I'm talking about Christ and the church. 00:14:06.200 --> 00:14:13.880 And so what he's saying is this marriage, that this institution of marriage is really a physical representation of 00:14:13.880 --> 00:14:16.340 what Christ and the church is to look like. 00:14:18.020 --> 00:14:19.700 Christ is the head of the church. 00:14:20.400 --> 00:14:21.980 He gave his life for the church. 00:14:22.740 --> 00:14:29.740 And as we embrace that wonderful truth that God has saved us, that we had no means to restore 00:14:29.740 --> 00:14:31.720 our relationship with God through our own works. 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:34.640 But Jesus did it for us. 00:14:36.540 --> 00:14:39.940 And as we understand that, we go to him and we submit ourselves to him willingly. 00:14:42.600 --> 00:14:47.080 And that's what our marriage is supposed to look like to the society around us. 00:14:48.060 --> 00:14:55.220 As we see this view of what marriage is, as it has been established as a physical demonstration of Christ in His church, that as 00:14:55.260 --> 00:15:02.360 we look to God to help us to lay our lives down for our wives, and we the wives, look to God and Jesus 00:15:02.360 --> 00:15:07.460 to help them submit and play the role that he's called them to. 00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:16.300 The world around us is able to see this wonderful mystery of what Christ has done for the church, and that's what 00:15:16.300 --> 00:15:17.220 he's called us to. 00:15:18.900 --> 00:15:19.760 That's what we can do. 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:28.640 And it's not just husband and wife from the husband and wife, the two shall become one flesh, and 00:15:29.980 --> 00:15:33.100 we have children as a result of them. 00:15:33.940 --> 00:15:36.310 And so they're part of the family unit in such an important part. 00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:42.240 And so Paul addresses this, and this is where I'm going to be today, focusing on today. 00:15:42.780 --> 00:15:49.040 He says in Ephesians chapter six, children, are you obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. 00:15:50.140 --> 00:15:54.340 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise. 00:15:56.860 --> 00:15:58.700 So that's great right? 00:15:59.940 --> 00:16:05.140 So like my default phrase for my kids is, hey, Jesus wants you to obey me. 00:16:06.020 --> 00:16:06.160 Right. 00:16:07.180 --> 00:16:08.320 Try to guilt him into it. 00:16:09.040 --> 00:16:11.700 Children, obey your parents in the Lord because it is right. 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:14.370 Honor your father and mother. 00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:15.800 Which is the first commandment with a promise. 00:16:16.880 --> 00:16:24.080 And so he's calling the children to play a part and play a role in this institution of marriage 00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:26.260 and family that God has established. 00:16:27.280 --> 00:16:33.740 And he's establishing what their role in this family is, and that is to obey their parents and to honor them. 00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:42.260 And Paul goes back again to the Old Testament and declares and reinterprets the promise that was given when 00:16:43.140 --> 00:16:45.660 God first gave Moses these commandments. 00:16:46.800 --> 00:16:51.300 Honor your father and mother, that it may go well with you, and that you may have a long life in the land. 00:16:53.440 --> 00:17:00.580 It's the promise, and that's what he's trying to emphasize to the children, that 00:17:00.580 --> 00:17:02.020 are in the church. 00:17:04.180 --> 00:17:11.339 And if you don't know, the Old Testament, the promise was God called the people, and he the people of the Jewish people or 00:17:11.339 --> 00:17:12.319 the people of Israel. 00:17:12.599 --> 00:17:16.490 And he promised them this land, this promised land in the Old Testament. 00:17:17.520 --> 00:17:19.560 And it's going to be full of milk and honey, and it's a blessing. 00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:26.720 And God says, I'm going to do it, and I've chosen you because you are the kind of the most pitiful people, all the different civilizations. 00:17:26.980 --> 00:17:33.080 And so I'm going to use you to glorify myself and just demonstrate my power, and I'm going to give you this land of promise. 00:17:35.160 --> 00:17:42.740 And so the Old Testament chronicles the exodus of the children of Israel out of Egypt to this promised land and their disobedience, 00:17:43.300 --> 00:17:45.940 causing them to wander in the desert for 40 years. 00:17:46.360 --> 00:17:49.550 And Moses is unable to enter into the Promised Land because of his disobedience. 00:17:50.320 --> 00:17:52.440 But it comes to Deuteronomy here. 00:17:53.960 --> 00:18:01.120 Deuteronomy is my favorite book because it talks about this time when the 40 years is up and 00:18:01.120 --> 00:18:06.060 God is actually going to fulfill his promise and let his people go across the River Jordan into the Promised Land. 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:11.040 And so Paul's or God's telling Moses, okay, it's time you got to get your people ready. 00:18:11.180 --> 00:18:18.320 And so Deuteronomy, the first few chapters, Moses is re going over what needs to happen in order for them to have blessing in the land 00:18:18.320 --> 00:18:19.400 that has been promised to him. 00:18:20.560 --> 00:18:27.640 And this is kind of where Paul is talking about here in Ephesians chapter six, about this promise of having a long 00:18:27.640 --> 00:18:32.310 life just to give you the context and the background of what Paul's talking about. 00:18:33.100 --> 00:18:40.480 And so before they go into the Promised Land, Moses is telling them, you need to make sure people are orienting 00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:44.940 themselves and their families towards God and press these words of mine on your hearts and souls. 00:18:45.120 --> 00:18:49.370 Bind them as a sign on your hands, and let them be a symbol on your foreheads. 00:18:50.520 --> 00:18:51.250 And then look at here. 00:18:51.420 --> 00:18:58.200 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 00:18:59.520 --> 00:19:02.210 It's to be just a constant thing in our lives, in our homes. 00:19:03.360 --> 00:19:10.840 Write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates, so that as long as the heavens are above the earth, your days and those of your children 00:19:10.840 --> 00:19:16.000 may be many in the land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers. 00:19:18.220 --> 00:19:19.000 And so that's the idea. 00:19:19.040 --> 00:19:19.690 But we need to be careful. 00:19:20.060 --> 00:19:27.200 We understand that the New Testament has revealed that God's law and moral law, and disobeying and obeying was a 00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:34.520 means, according to the book of Galatians and elsewhere, that was a means to tell us and to show us, and to demonstrate to us that we can't keep God's law, that because 00:19:34.520 --> 00:19:36.510 of sin we are imperfect. 00:19:37.020 --> 00:19:39.260 And the children of Israel are the prime example for that. 00:19:40.980 --> 00:19:41.360 They couldn't. 00:19:41.540 --> 00:19:47.260 No matter how hard they tried or how long they would do good for a while, but they would always fail in keeping the commandments of God. 00:19:47.420 --> 00:19:54.660 And so the New Testament progressively reveals that, hey, guess what the good news is that Jesus came and lived that perfect life and fulfilled the law perfectly 00:19:54.660 --> 00:19:55.860 for you on your behalf. 00:19:57.080 --> 00:20:03.000 And he did that so that he might go to the cross and be the spotless Lamb of God to die for your sins on your behalf. 00:20:05.320 --> 00:20:12.400 And because of that, you're able to have relationship and reconciliation and restoration with our Lord and with God 00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:13.780 and eternity in heaven with him. 00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:16.290 And that's an amazing thing. 00:20:16.500 --> 00:20:17.280 And that's the gospel. 00:20:17.300 --> 00:20:24.700 And that's the complete picture of what God has demonstrated in his total revelation that we can't keep God's 00:20:24.700 --> 00:20:31.720 law, that we are imperfect, that Christ loved us and did it for us, and that we must believe and trust in him, 00:20:32.060 --> 00:20:39.720 be added into his church, and then as a means in which we can worship our God and demonstration of Him and His power and might, we can fulfill attempt 00:20:39.720 --> 00:20:44.520 to fulfill the ideals that are given in Scripture as a means of worship towards them. 00:20:46.940 --> 00:20:48.640 And that's what it's all about. 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:51.180 And so it is the same with us. 00:20:52.140 --> 00:20:56.020 This idea of a promise is the same. 00:20:56.020 --> 00:20:59.270 It's this idea that Paul has given us a picture of protection. 00:21:00.100 --> 00:21:07.100 Kids, I promise you, we're not here as your parents just to be your killjoy and to make everything miserable in your 00:21:07.100 --> 00:21:07.600 life. 00:21:08.320 --> 00:21:13.780 God has given us, given the people over you as a means of protection for you. 00:21:15.660 --> 00:21:22.900 He's giving you parents in the midst of the church that can show you the reason 00:21:22.900 --> 00:21:28.380 in which you are to orient your life towards the Lord and towards the gospel. 00:21:29.980 --> 00:21:30.640 It's there. 00:21:31.500 --> 00:21:35.730 He's given that to protect you, not to be the killjoy. 00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:48.880 and so that's what it's all about, is understanding what God has done and that I'm 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:50.720 kind of lost my train of thought here. 00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:51.300 So I'm trying to catch up. 00:21:52.840 --> 00:21:53.960 But anyway, moving on. 00:21:54.460 --> 00:21:57.600 So children don't crush your or don't crush your children as the next point. 00:21:58.800 --> 00:22:05.250 Ephesians six through four says, and fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 00:22:06.460 --> 00:22:07.380 All right. 00:22:08.440 --> 00:22:15.780 So he's called the children to be back to the original intention and the ideal of family. 00:22:16.420 --> 00:22:17.160 Obey and honor your parents. 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:25.320 But then he's quick to make sure and tell us as parents that word fathers in the Greek can 00:22:25.320 --> 00:22:31.260 be is also used as parents in some times, and so some translations even use the word parents there. 00:22:31.280 --> 00:22:36.580 And parents don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:44.540 And then he has a parallel verse there in Colossians three fathers, do not exasperate your children so that you they will not lose heart. 00:22:47.020 --> 00:22:49.300 And so that's back towards us as parents. 00:22:49.900 --> 00:22:55.710 How are we supposed to demonstrate this gospel message in our lives, how it's supposed to be prevalent in our homes? 00:22:56.140 --> 00:22:59.820 Well, the first thing is he's telling us to do is don't provoke him to anger. 00:22:59.980 --> 00:23:00.660 Don't stir them up. 00:23:00.700 --> 00:23:02.040 Don't exasperate your children. 00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:03.640 What does that mean? 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:10.000 Well, I can mean a number of different things depending on where you're at and your and your families are at. 00:23:11.280 --> 00:23:12.240 What's exasperates? 00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:18.960 My children may not exasperate yours and vice versa, but let me give you an illustration, an analogy out of my own life that I think might help. 00:23:19.820 --> 00:23:23.470 So when I was in high school, we had a river called the Kern River. 00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:26.260 It's a renowned whitewater rafting river. 00:23:27.180 --> 00:23:31.560 There's 50 miles of just wonderful whitewater that you can raft on. 00:23:32.900 --> 00:23:39.920 And so growing up, my older brother, who was four years older than me, he was able to be a river guide and man, I wanted to be a river guide, too, just like my 00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:40.440 older brother. 00:23:40.580 --> 00:23:40.680 Right? 00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:48.520 And so at the age of 15, which was the youngest you could do, I started this, working for this company, rafting 00:23:48.520 --> 00:23:49.040 company. 00:23:49.060 --> 00:23:56.460 And they just started me off on the small stuff and just taking my kids on a one hour run down the or 00:23:56.460 --> 00:24:03.520 taking different kids on, you meet at the park a load a bunch of kids and families up, and you take them an hour up the road, and then you'd get in a raft and 00:24:03.520 --> 00:24:06.220 you'd raft down and you would just do that all day. 00:24:06.260 --> 00:24:07.340 And it was really small rapids. 00:24:07.660 --> 00:24:08.270 It was no big deal. 00:24:09.060 --> 00:24:10.260 But I wanted to get to the big stuff. 00:24:10.520 --> 00:24:13.680 Not the real Whitewater, big, big time happening rapids. 00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:14.840 I couldn't do that until I was 16. 00:24:14.840 --> 00:24:21.980 So when I was 16 and I just poured myself into training and how you do that, you would just jump in the back of the boat with an experienced guide, and they would show you 00:24:21.980 --> 00:24:29.500 how to get through the big class four and five rapids, how you can do that and maneuver and so the more time I spent back there, I understood the, where 00:24:29.500 --> 00:24:30.320 I needed to be. 00:24:30.360 --> 00:24:37.440 And so they got to the point and said, well, we think you're good enough kinda to, get people paying people into a boat and 00:24:37.880 --> 00:24:38.900 get them down those rapids. 00:24:39.340 --> 00:24:44.160 And so they were able to let me do those big class four and five rapids at the age of 16. 00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:51.740 And I, for the most part, could get people through most times without letting them follow the boat, 00:24:51.800 --> 00:24:52.340 but not all the time. 00:24:54.220 --> 00:24:57.260 but I had a problem. 00:24:59.100 --> 00:25:05.000 And that was, you'll see here in this picture that I'm showing you the rapids were not a problem because I had to memorize a new where I needed to be. 00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:11.550 But during between those rapids, there's these long, like, sometimes miles long, of just flat water that you had to paddle through. 00:25:11.800 --> 00:25:15.900 And we'd do a 2 or 3 day extended day trips, whitewater rafting. 00:25:16.820 --> 00:25:20.100 And there was a lot of fun, but you had all your gear and sleeping gear, and so your boats were heavy. 00:25:21.700 --> 00:25:28.380 And what I didn't understand was as I'd get through the rapid and I'd pick everybody up, they'd fallen out or whatever, collect all the gear. 00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:36.220 But during these long flat spots, I'd look out and I'd say, well, I need to get there. 00:25:36.300 --> 00:25:39.060 And so the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. 00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:43.310 So I'd orient my boat and I'd go forward, paddle and we'd start paddling and just digging. 00:25:43.380 --> 00:25:46.610 And they're just struggling, to get through the flat waters. 00:25:47.080 --> 00:25:50.980 And the amazing thing is that there would be a boat right next to me and they're floating. 00:25:51.140 --> 00:25:53.850 They're probably going as fast or faster than me, but they're not paddling. 00:25:54.500 --> 00:25:55.530 But here's my crew paddling. 00:25:56.760 --> 00:25:57.840 Just keep paddling. 00:25:57.840 --> 00:26:03.080 And so for these multi-day trips, I had my crew paddling like the entire time. 00:26:03.080 --> 00:26:03.750 And they were just gassed. 00:26:05.020 --> 00:26:09.540 And at the end of these multi-day trips, like they're the technical rapids, they were just they were done. 00:26:09.660 --> 00:26:16.780 They were just exhausted and they couldn't get through the rapids, without major carnage, because they had no energy to 00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:17.850 paddle with anymore. 00:26:19.220 --> 00:26:25.780 And the cool part about it was I thought it was going to be cool, was that we had world renowned rafters that were in our company. 00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:32.220 They'd go all over the globe to raft, and they were on documentaries and, first descents down the Yangzi River in China. 00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:34.850 And so I looked up to these guys almost like father like figures. 00:26:35.040 --> 00:26:37.140 They were they were the cool guys. 00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:39.820 And I, I was able to be slotted in with them. 00:26:39.820 --> 00:26:43.840 And so I thought it was going to be great to be able to hang out with these great, amazing river rafters. 00:26:45.280 --> 00:26:53.200 But as time went, as it became evident very quickly that they would start looking at me and these flatwater and they'd see me just wasting 00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:58.240 my crew of all these different paddling, and they would just shake their head and they'd tell me, you're doing it wrong. 00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:01.540 What do you mean I'm doing it wrong? 00:27:02.300 --> 00:27:02.780 Forward paddle. 00:27:03.040 --> 00:27:03.300 Let's go. 00:27:04.220 --> 00:27:07.760 And it was two months of flat water killing my people. 00:27:07.780 --> 00:27:12.110 And you know, you'd get to the end of the trip and multi-day trips, and we're cooking for them and all this stuff. 00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:14.680 And so people would come up and give you, like, really good tips. 00:27:15.380 --> 00:27:18.300 Well, my people would come up and expect a tip from me because I've worked them so hard. 00:27:19.180 --> 00:27:19.320 Right? 00:27:19.400 --> 00:27:20.720 It's like, give me, give me your money. 00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:24.100 And so it was starting to affect and we'd pull all of our tips together. 00:27:24.260 --> 00:27:26.620 And so everyone would come up with all this money and I'd say I don't have anything. 00:27:27.700 --> 00:27:29.320 And it started to affect their bottom line. 00:27:29.320 --> 00:27:31.040 And they started you're doing it wrong. 00:27:31.360 --> 00:27:31.960 You're doing it wrong. 00:27:33.260 --> 00:27:34.620 You're working your people too hard. 00:27:34.840 --> 00:27:35.710 You're doing it wrong. 00:27:38.020 --> 00:27:39.220 Okay, well, I'll try better. 00:27:39.380 --> 00:27:40.110 I don't know what to do. 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:46.400 And it got to the point where a couple of months were going into it, and it was like a little inside joke for them. 00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:47.490 You know, it's kind of a competitive arena. 00:27:49.060 --> 00:27:53.960 And like, there's the guy that just gasses his people and he doesn't know what he's doing and rolling their eyes at us. 00:27:54.160 --> 00:28:01.360 They had all the knowledge in the world to help me, but all they could do is tell me you're doing it wrong, right, 00:28:01.520 --> 00:28:05.080 and snip at me and, make me do all the dishes because I. 00:28:05.980 --> 00:28:07.300 What I'm doing right now. 00:28:07.900 --> 00:28:13.840 Everything to give me the knowledge and instruct me to be a better river guide than those calm spots. 00:28:14.300 --> 00:28:15.120 But they didn't do it. 00:28:15.260 --> 00:28:18.560 All they could tell me was that they were doing it wrong, and I could see it, and I could see the little smirks. 00:28:19.800 --> 00:28:20.450 And what did that do? 00:28:22.180 --> 00:28:25.750 It began to build up bitterness and anger in my heart towards them. 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:31.860 It begin to I begin to question myself and doubt myself and all those things that kind of spin out. 00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:36.040 And honestly, I must confess to you, that's my default way of parenting. 00:28:37.060 --> 00:28:38.240 It's the easiest way to parent. 00:28:39.540 --> 00:28:41.700 You see your kid, hey, you're doing it wrong. 00:28:42.560 --> 00:28:43.280 You're doing it wrong. 00:28:43.740 --> 00:28:44.320 You're doing it wrong. 00:28:45.800 --> 00:28:46.440 Because that's easy. 00:28:46.440 --> 00:28:48.500 It doesn't require inner energy for me. 00:28:49.280 --> 00:28:51.100 I just get to tell them, hey, you're messing up again. 00:28:51.640 --> 00:28:52.490 You're doing it wrong. 00:28:55.380 --> 00:28:58.900 And that's what I think Paul is trying to capture for us. 00:28:59.900 --> 00:29:03.170 It's not about just telling them you're doing it wrong. 00:29:03.820 --> 00:29:09.420 It's about, as this verse says, training and instructing them in the Lord and the things of the Lord. 00:29:10.620 --> 00:29:14.540 One day my manager shows up, who actually happened to be my brother's good friend from high school. 00:29:14.660 --> 00:29:16.020 He was the manager of this rafting company. 00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:20.490 He shows up and he says, I'm going to take this trip with you, and I'm going to be in the back of the boat with you. 00:29:21.100 --> 00:29:22.080 I'm like, oh, I'm good, man. 00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:23.800 I, I got the rapids down. 00:29:23.800 --> 00:29:24.920 And he's like, no, it's not about the rapids. 00:29:26.040 --> 00:29:27.560 I've heard something's going on. 00:29:27.560 --> 00:29:28.790 And so I want to teach you a few things here. 00:29:29.260 --> 00:29:30.010 Wicked smart guy. 00:29:30.080 --> 00:29:31.250 He had a degree in hydrology. 00:29:31.580 --> 00:29:32.800 He was he was an amazing guy. 00:29:32.820 --> 00:29:35.530 And so he sat in the back of the boat with me, and he wanted to show me. 00:29:35.740 --> 00:29:37.320 Hey, you see this flat water here? 00:29:37.940 --> 00:29:40.600 What's going on is you can't really see it unless you really look. 00:29:40.740 --> 00:29:45.600 But some of the currents going downstream, because that's the water just wants to flow. 00:29:46.100 --> 00:29:48.180 You have gravity and downhill flow. 00:29:48.200 --> 00:29:52.660 The easiest, the easiest course water is going to take you is, in a certain direction. 00:29:53.800 --> 00:30:01.040 But as the curve of the bend of the river turns and goes this way, the water is going to sweep to the outside most times, but then the slack 00:30:01.040 --> 00:30:02.360 water fills in behind it. 00:30:03.220 --> 00:30:09.480 And so the currents going downstream on one side of the river, but the water on the other side of the river is either stagnant, not going anywhere, or actually going upstream. 00:30:10.780 --> 00:30:11.500 And that's called an eddy. 00:30:12.920 --> 00:30:19.920 And I'm like, oh, he goes, so what's you're doing is you're in an eddy and you're wanting to go downstream and you 00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:21.100 think that's the quickest way. 00:30:21.100 --> 00:30:26.000 So you just start forward paddling and you're going through water that is not going that direction. 00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:28.740 And so you're laboring your people too much. 00:30:29.800 --> 00:30:37.100 And I'm like, so that's why the boat next to me, that's on the other side of this there's called an eddy line where the water going downstream and 00:30:37.100 --> 00:30:40.520 the slack water meets and they have friction with one another, and there's little whirlpools that are going down. 00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:46.840 And the people that are on this line side of the line are going downstream, not even under their own power. 00:30:46.900 --> 00:30:48.190 The current's taking them. 00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:53.840 But here I am in this eddy water, just digging my people and wasting them, gassing them. 00:30:53.980 --> 00:30:55.100 And so he began to instruct me. 00:30:55.140 --> 00:30:59.820 He began to give me the knowledge in which I needed to be able to navigate and orient my boat. 00:30:59.820 --> 00:31:07.020 And it's a it's a way that my people wouldn't have to work as hard, that they could paddle and have fun through the rapids and relax and 00:31:07.020 --> 00:31:07.980 enjoy themselves. 00:31:08.840 --> 00:31:09.980 River rafting on the calm spots. 00:31:10.920 --> 00:31:12.860 Catching the sun by the current takes us along. 00:31:14.040 --> 00:31:15.710 And so he gave me the knowledge that was needed. 00:31:15.960 --> 00:31:21.240 He took the time to instruct me in those ways, and that's what God is asking us to do. 00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:29.300 It's not about just correcting and telling our children you're doing it wrong, but it's taking the time to instruct them 00:31:30.540 --> 00:31:31.500 in the ways of the Lord. 00:31:32.940 --> 00:31:35.680 And that's, I think, a good analogy of life. 00:31:36.580 --> 00:31:45.560 We find ourselves struggling and physically just fighting to get downriver, and 00:31:45.560 --> 00:31:50.700 we're doing it in our own power and we're just wasting ourselves and gassing ourselves. 00:31:51.980 --> 00:31:59.460 But the gospel and being added into Christ's church and the whole God, the spirit, and dwelling in the heart of the believer, and 00:31:59.460 --> 00:32:06.420 the means in which he's given the church as tools to be able to navigate. 00:32:07.760 --> 00:32:11.900 As we do that, as we orient ourselves towards those things, towards God. 00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:12.100 Right. 00:32:12.140 --> 00:32:13.040 It's God's feelings. 00:32:13.540 --> 00:32:18.160 Being spirit filled is what takes us along in life, his power under his power and his strength. 00:32:20.180 --> 00:32:21.190 And I just want to close with this. 00:32:21.300 --> 00:32:28.400 You know, after I got that knowledge of what it was, being able to read currents and stuff, I 00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:31.620 began to go behind those guys that knew everything. 00:32:32.800 --> 00:32:33.520 And I was able to. 00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:37.230 Now that I knew what they were doing, I was able to model what they were doing. 00:32:37.380 --> 00:32:44.420 I'd tuck in right behind them, and if they had a little stroke here or a stroke there to re-orientate themselves, right, 00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:47.280 to make sure the boat stays in the current, then I would do it. 00:32:48.220 --> 00:32:53.700 They didn't even know I was learning from them, but I was learning from them because I had the right knowledge now. 00:32:54.960 --> 00:32:56.780 And it's like that with us as parents as well. 00:32:57.960 --> 00:33:01.920 Your children, our children are looking towards us and they're seeing how we navigate life. 00:33:04.100 --> 00:33:07.160 They're seeing what we do to orientate ourselves in our lives. 00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:09.230 Are we doing the gospel disciplines? 00:33:10.100 --> 00:33:12.490 You know, I said two weeks ago, I say it again. 00:33:12.560 --> 00:33:15.220 And people almost like have a hesitation to roll their eyes. 00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:22.420 You know, God's word and prayer and church and, doing these things are so important to our spiritual life. 00:33:23.540 --> 00:33:30.130 But those are the means in which we do those quick strokes to orientate our lives, to keep in the current and being filled with the spirit. 00:33:31.400 --> 00:33:37.120 And if we're doing those things on a consistent basis, we can't just let go and let God because we just float into an eddy and go nowhere. 00:33:37.980 --> 00:33:47.660 But if we do those things that God has given us as tools and orientate ourselves towards Jesus and the gospel, God's 00:33:47.660 --> 00:33:52.560 power and God's strength demonstrates these fruits in our lives, and it's an amazing thing. 00:33:54.320 --> 00:33:57.400 And so our children are watching us and they're modeling us. 00:33:58.340 --> 00:33:59.340 What are we modeling for our children? 00:34:02.080 --> 00:34:02.600 In the home. 00:34:03.820 --> 00:34:04.710 Those are just some things. 00:34:04.740 --> 00:34:06.220 And so I have an outline for you. 00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:07.020 It's not really an outline. 00:34:07.120 --> 00:34:09.780 It's just it has four questions and it's about the gospel. 00:34:09.900 --> 00:34:11.020 Remember it's all about the gospel. 00:34:11.060 --> 00:34:13.040 It's not about rule keeping or list keeping. 00:34:13.080 --> 00:34:18.960 It's about them showing, showing our children that they need Jesus Christ because they can't keep the list of rules. 00:34:20.820 --> 00:34:27.840 And so it's about constantly demonstrating to them, coming alongside them, sitting in the back of their boat and 00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:36.900 saying, this is how we orientate ourselves to keep ourselves filled with the spirit and to demonstrate Christ's, work 00:34:36.900 --> 00:34:37.460 in our lives. 00:34:39.320 --> 00:34:40.330 And so it's about the gospel. 00:34:40.460 --> 00:34:42.469 And so these questions that I've given you are gospel centered. 00:34:43.739 --> 00:34:44.719 Our children need to know. 00:34:44.900 --> 00:34:51.110 And each time we have an interaction with them, it's actually a means in which we can draw our children closer to the Lord and to Jesus. 00:34:51.580 --> 00:34:58.380 If we take the time, not just say you're doing it wrong, but actually instruct them and show them how to orientate our lives towards him. 00:34:58.380 --> 00:34:58.640 Sin. 00:34:59.020 --> 00:35:00.160 So all these different things. 00:35:00.160 --> 00:35:07.300 I don't have time to go through each one of them, but I hope that you'll take these home with you and ask those questions about sin 00:35:07.300 --> 00:35:12.280 and how well do I relate to them in their sinful struggles with your children? 00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:13.520 Do you relate to them? 00:35:13.540 --> 00:35:13.660 Do you? 00:35:13.860 --> 00:35:15.500 Do you let them know that you sin too? 00:35:16.680 --> 00:35:21.360 Or you just say you're doing it wrong, you're sinning right and show them the gospel in that. 00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:29.970 That's how we orientate our families and our homes in which to keep filled with the spirit, always with the picture of the gospel in our minds. 00:35:30.220 --> 00:35:38.700 And so these questions are here for you to hopefully take home and meditate on, and maybe come up with your own that might help you and demonstrate, help 00:35:38.700 --> 00:35:46.380 you to bring up your children in the training and instruction of the Lord and not just make them angry and bitter because 00:35:46.380 --> 00:35:48.550 they feel like a failure and they can't do anything right.