WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:01.150 Well, it's good to be here this morning. 00:00:01.500 --> 00:00:07.180 We're on the very end of a five week series we've been doing together called from This Day Forward. 00:00:07.700 --> 00:00:14.020 And so for five weeks we've been working on encouraging and strengthening the marriage relationships within our church. 00:00:14.540 --> 00:00:21.770 It's not just for married couples, but we also want to encourage those who may be single with some just some ideas and concepts from Scripture, 00:00:22.240 --> 00:00:29.300 those who are single looking to mingle, some truths from God's Word and how to make some applications as you consider who it is 00:00:29.300 --> 00:00:31.920 that God might have in your future. 00:00:32.980 --> 00:00:40.040 And so we're on our last section together and on this final part are from 00:00:40.040 --> 00:00:47.380 this day forward, the last communication or message that we're going to have together is simply this never, 00:00:47.720 --> 00:00:48.650 never give up. 00:00:49.460 --> 00:00:56.920 It's an encouragement in the midst of difficulties and trials to work on your marriage together and find 00:00:56.920 --> 00:00:58.680 what God desires for you. 00:00:58.900 --> 00:01:02.860 I believe this that what God wants for marriage is an incredible journey. 00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:08.440 And as you read the way that God communicates marriage within Scripture, it's intended to be a blessing and a joy. 00:01:09.160 --> 00:01:16.500 It's the foundation of marriage is supposed to set the precedent for the family, and the family is supposed to be a blessing to 00:01:16.500 --> 00:01:17.300 the world. 00:01:17.420 --> 00:01:21.520 And God created marriage for good reason and for joyful reason. 00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:28.990 In fact, Ecclesiastes nine nine tells us to enjoy the marriage that God has given you. 00:01:29.320 --> 00:01:35.780 Now I say all that, and I recognize that in some cases there are situations where it is just absolutely unhealthy. 00:01:37.160 --> 00:01:40.560 And I just want to encourage you, maybe there might even be abuse that's present. 00:01:41.020 --> 00:01:48.320 And I want to encourage you this morning if you're in that situation as a church, we offer biblical counseling here, but Jared and 00:01:48.500 --> 00:01:50.080 Tara oversee that area of our church. 00:01:50.300 --> 00:01:55.000 Jared gave the announcements today, and I just want you to encourage you to utilize that resource if you desire. 00:01:55.440 --> 00:02:02.660 But what God wants for us in our relationships is for the two to become one 00:02:02.660 --> 00:02:08.400 and to enjoy the marriage that God has given you to never give up. 00:02:09.100 --> 00:02:13.140 I sort of have this dream when you get really old, right? 00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:14.760 It's just the old, old person dream. 00:02:14.900 --> 00:02:15.860 Older than anyone here. 00:02:16.200 --> 00:02:22.940 I was reading today that the life expectancy, possibly for this generation that's coming up is somewhere around 100 years old. 00:02:23.540 --> 00:02:28.220 I mean, could you imagine that when you go to the birthday card section of the store, happy 100 years? 00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:30.340 Could you could you buy that for somebody? 00:02:30.440 --> 00:02:33.240 It would be like asking the question for someone today like this. 00:02:33.560 --> 00:02:33.780 When? 00:02:33.880 --> 00:02:37.290 When you retire, what are you going to do with the next 30 years of your life? 00:02:37.640 --> 00:02:37.780 Right. 00:02:38.160 --> 00:02:40.720 That's bizarre to think about. 00:02:40.740 --> 00:02:45.280 But life expectancy is expected to be much longer. 00:02:46.220 --> 00:02:47.940 And so here's my dream for you when you're an old couple. 00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:56.160 I just like this picture that you get the opportunity to sit next to your spouse and your old 00:02:56.160 --> 00:03:03.320 age where wrinkles are covering your face, and you just look at each other over a nice breakfast with a beautiful view 00:03:03.320 --> 00:03:05.770 and you just can say to one another, you know what? 00:03:06.600 --> 00:03:07.020 We made it. 00:03:08.640 --> 00:03:14.640 It wasn't always pretty and may not always been done the right way, but we made it. 00:03:16.060 --> 00:03:23.760 An opportunity for you to look back over the things that God has worked within your marriage throughout the course of 00:03:23.760 --> 00:03:24.160 your life. 00:03:26.200 --> 00:03:27.160 I've got to be honest, though. 00:03:28.280 --> 00:03:35.420 Every marriage has complicated complications, and every person gets to a place in their marriage where 00:03:35.420 --> 00:03:37.480 they really love their spouse. 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:39.660 But man, they don't like them. 00:03:40.600 --> 00:03:46.570 You might find a day where rather than express love, you would want to do anything but. 00:03:48.540 --> 00:03:50.000 But God created marriage. 00:03:50.940 --> 00:03:53.380 To be a joyful journey. 00:03:54.640 --> 00:03:59.820 And the truth is, no matter what bumps and bruises that have happened along the way, you can't. 00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:01.190 You can't change your past. 00:04:02.620 --> 00:04:03.950 But you can learn from it. 00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:06.480 You can forgive it. 00:04:06.660 --> 00:04:10.460 Can let go of it and you can move forward. 00:04:11.720 --> 00:04:16.930 The decision for things to be different is in your hands from this day forward. 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:21.720 Matter of fact, that's why we've titled this series from this day forward. 00:04:23.100 --> 00:04:29.520 It's saying to us, the past is the past, and there may be some reconciliation that needs to happen there. 00:04:29.540 --> 00:04:36.680 But from this day forward, it's in your control to live as God desires within your 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:36.980 relationship. 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:42.380 And so the encouragement is this don't ever give up. 00:04:43.620 --> 00:04:50.920 It Takes Two dedicated towards this commitment to see God working with joy within that marriage. 00:04:51.400 --> 00:04:54.000 You know, in Genesis or excuse me, Matthew chapter 19. 00:04:54.780 --> 00:04:56.480 Very first book of the New Testament. 00:04:57.040 --> 00:04:59.820 Jesus has the opportunity to talk about marriage. 00:04:59.820 --> 00:05:00.610 And that's where we're going to springboard. 00:05:01.200 --> 00:05:06.240 And the basis for the text we're going to look at this morning comes from Matthew 19 and in verse three. 00:05:07.860 --> 00:05:14.860 Bible tells us within the story that these Jesus is teaching and the crowds are following him, and these religious leaders decide that they're 00:05:14.860 --> 00:05:20.380 going to try to pin Jesus down and make him look foolish before others. 00:05:20.700 --> 00:05:22.180 And so they come to them, him with questions. 00:05:22.760 --> 00:05:26.060 You would think by Matthew 19, they would have learned not to do that. 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:34.480 Every time they come to Jesus with a question, Jesus gives them such an answer that they end up walking away looking foolish rather than their intentions 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:37.260 of making Christ look foolish. 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:45.400 And Jesus in Matthew 19, is speaking to a culture that under appreciates the value of what the marriage covenant is about. 00:05:47.180 --> 00:05:52.820 He's speaking to a culture at this time that's readily and easily giving up on marriage. 00:05:52.820 --> 00:05:54.920 And in Matthew 19 and verse three it says this. 00:05:55.520 --> 00:06:02.580 Some Pharisees came to Jesus testing him and asking, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for 00:06:02.640 --> 00:06:09.840 any reason at all, to set a sort of a cultural precedent to 00:06:09.840 --> 00:06:14.100 what the questions being posed here to Christ at the time? 00:06:14.100 --> 00:06:17.300 These men are posing this question to Jesus. 00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:22.520 It was very popular to divorce your wife for little to no reason. 00:06:23.960 --> 00:06:29.860 Women during this time were looked at as property just as much as a guy. 00:06:30.260 --> 00:06:32.590 Sorry ladies, to say this would want a donkey or a cow. 00:06:33.100 --> 00:06:36.100 They would treat women much the same as land or possessions. 00:06:37.240 --> 00:06:41.360 Whenever you thought your donkey was not serving you the way that you desired, you got rid of it. 00:06:41.440 --> 00:06:45.540 Whenever your land wasn't working the right way, or you wanted to improve on that, you got rid of it. 00:06:45.540 --> 00:06:49.180 Whenever your wife wasn't what you wanted her to be serving to please you. 00:06:49.660 --> 00:06:51.290 You got rid of her. 00:06:52.440 --> 00:06:59.740 And so they come to Jesus with this question is it right for when is it right for a man to get rid of his 00:06:59.740 --> 00:07:03.360 wife, their trading in their wives like they're trading in their cars? 00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:06.280 Whenever you're tired of the color white, you just change the color red. 00:07:08.140 --> 00:07:14.340 And God in these moments begins to talk to them about the purpose of marriage. 00:07:15.960 --> 00:07:17.780 I was interested they posed this question to Jesus. 00:07:17.780 --> 00:07:19.200 I know Jesus is about to respond. 00:07:19.220 --> 00:07:26.240 If you got one of those red letter Bibles in verse four, you'll note that it turns red, which means Jesus is talking and Jesus is about 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:27.460 to teach on marriage. 00:07:27.520 --> 00:07:34.540 And I got to say, out of all the people in the world that's going to teach on a topic related to marriage, if Jesus is going to say something, I want to listen to what 00:07:34.540 --> 00:07:34.860 it is. 00:07:34.980 --> 00:07:36.740 And so curiosity crosses my mind. 00:07:37.100 --> 00:07:43.900 What is Jesus going to say and what text is he going to use to share with us what marriage is about? 00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:44.780 And you know our Jesus quotes from. 00:07:46.500 --> 00:07:47.130 Book of Genesis. 00:07:49.140 --> 00:07:51.300 The very place that we started our series together. 00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:58.320 Genesis chapter two and verse 24 and 25, the last two verses of the book of Matthew. 00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:06.040 Jesus takes the first book of the New Testament and quotes the first book of the Old Testament, and he uses the idea of what's being expressed 00:08:06.040 --> 00:08:09.180 here to express to us what the purpose of marriage is all about. 00:08:10.100 --> 00:08:13.140 If you want to understand what marriage is about, go to the place where marriage was created. 00:08:14.060 --> 00:08:15.620 God, what was your purpose for this today? 00:08:16.320 --> 00:08:17.180 I'm not feeling it. 00:08:18.700 --> 00:08:20.070 And then Jesus begins to explain. 00:08:21.260 --> 00:08:28.300 He says in verse four and he answered and said, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male 00:08:28.300 --> 00:08:28.760 and female? 00:08:29.860 --> 00:08:36.919 And said, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:40.799 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 00:08:41.780 --> 00:08:43.970 What therefore God has joined together. 00:08:44.220 --> 00:08:45.160 Let no man separate. 00:08:47.620 --> 00:08:48.680 I love verse six. 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:50.240 It talks about the sacredness of it. 00:08:50.280 --> 00:08:54.900 It's not just a decision that two people make, but God is there in the joining of that couple. 00:08:56.180 --> 00:09:02.400 We talked about the idea of what oneness was about, and oneness means this at the deepest seed of who we are. 00:09:02.740 --> 00:09:07.540 We are so connected to our spouse that you can't tell where one spouse ends and the other begins. 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:13.940 I mean, if I were to say to you this morning, just in a very simplistic question, what is God's purpose for your marriage? 00:09:14.060 --> 00:09:18.040 Do you know the purpose for your marriage is the same purpose that God has for every marriage. 00:09:18.200 --> 00:09:20.180 God desires for you to be one. 00:09:22.140 --> 00:09:24.160 Oneness is what God seeks in you. 00:09:24.180 --> 00:09:31.880 And if I could qualify that just a little bit further, which we did in the first lesson, that oneness is rooted in Christ. 00:09:32.300 --> 00:09:34.790 Let me give you a reason why you were created by him. 00:09:36.260 --> 00:09:37.520 God knows why he designed you. 00:09:38.820 --> 00:09:46.160 God has gifted you particular ways, and as you shape your identity as an individual in him, you begin to understand your purpose and your worth 00:09:46.160 --> 00:09:49.040 because God has attributed that to you. 00:09:49.040 --> 00:09:52.500 It's not based on what you do, but who you are in Christ. 00:09:53.740 --> 00:10:00.860 And so as you root yourself in who God is, that oneness that God creates in you and that oneness that God creates 00:10:01.180 --> 00:10:08.400 in your marriage, as you come to Christ, God continues to build that collectively together so that you can't tell where one spouse 00:10:08.400 --> 00:10:10.260 ends and the other begins. 00:10:12.260 --> 00:10:15.770 Jesus uses Genesis to teach about marriage. 00:10:16.540 --> 00:10:23.660 That's important for us to walk away with and remember, because I think within our culture today, if you just simply walked down the street 00:10:23.660 --> 00:10:30.720 and you asked people, what's what's God's purpose for your marriage, I think many times we'll stumble over the idea of what it is we've 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:31.300 been created for. 00:10:33.020 --> 00:10:37.440 God created you, that 2nd May become one, and through that oneness bless this world. 00:10:38.440 --> 00:10:45.660 As Jesus shares this passage of Scripture, he really identifies for us just three significant things that I want to talk to you about 00:10:45.660 --> 00:10:46.280 this morning. 00:10:47.520 --> 00:10:51.640 The first thing that Jesus illustrates in this passage is the idea of covenant. 00:10:53.960 --> 00:11:01.320 And Jesus comes and begins to explain from Genesis chapter two, the idea of what a marriage covenant 00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:01.640 is about. 00:11:01.920 --> 00:11:09.570 And he's beginning to teach these individuals in Matthew 19 that it's important to see marriage as a sacred covenant. 00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:14.880 In verse six he says, What God has joined together, let no man separate. 00:11:17.180 --> 00:11:24.760 For us today, it's important to understand the difference between the contractual idea of marriage and 00:11:24.760 --> 00:11:27.600 the covenantal idea of marriage. 00:11:29.140 --> 00:11:29.660 And our culture. 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:38.160 As couples, we gather together at the signing of a contractual paper when we're married before the 00:11:38.160 --> 00:11:39.120 court of law. 00:11:40.420 --> 00:11:46.180 The reason we have contracts that exist is because of a distrust. 00:11:47.420 --> 00:11:54.480 Meaning when we typically sign contracts, it's due to a distrust with the other party in which we are engaging in 00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:56.440 the contractual agreement. 00:11:57.640 --> 00:11:59.980 There's legality that comes along with it. 00:11:59.980 --> 00:12:05.220 And you sign a contract out of distrust of the other person, and you hold them to obligations. 00:12:05.660 --> 00:12:12.820 Meaning if they don't fulfill their obligation to the contract, then you're free and clear to break 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:14.260 the contract. 00:12:15.880 --> 00:12:21.000 And, if desired, to bring justice against the one who has broken the contract. 00:12:22.880 --> 00:12:25.020 The idea of a contract works this way. 00:12:25.040 --> 00:12:32.040 As long as you make me happy and do what pleases me and live up to your obligation of service, then I will stick around to 00:12:32.040 --> 00:12:35.180 what the contract obligates me to do as well. 00:12:37.280 --> 00:12:40.820 Contract is service based, encouraged through distrust. 00:12:42.280 --> 00:12:46.080 It's as if to say, I've got you right and now you have to do this. 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:50.970 A covenant runs deeper than that. 00:12:51.740 --> 00:12:53.240 Covenant is sacred. 00:12:55.480 --> 00:13:02.700 Biblical covenants in the Bible were often seen as blood covenants, meaning the idea 00:13:02.700 --> 00:13:09.060 of blood being shed during the covenant would encourage this if I break my covenant to you. 00:13:10.400 --> 00:13:13.660 May my life be done. 00:13:14.360 --> 00:13:15.200 As a symbol of that. 00:13:15.400 --> 00:13:17.850 They would separate animals, they would make a sacrifice of animals. 00:13:17.900 --> 00:13:21.400 And the two that are agreement and covenant would walk between that. 00:13:21.480 --> 00:13:27.700 The word covenant in the Old Testament is bara, which means to cut or divide. 00:13:28.440 --> 00:13:35.480 There's a tradition that's taught in the Hebrew Old Testament that when a married couple would come together, that oftentimes the one performing the ceremony 00:13:35.480 --> 00:13:42.520 would take a knife and cut deep enough into the hands of the two getting married, that they would begin to shed blood and they would bind those hands together. 00:13:42.520 --> 00:13:46.310 During the marital covenant that was shared. 00:13:46.840 --> 00:13:54.000 The focus on the covenant is not the obligation of the other person, but the focus is on the one who is giving their life 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:57.860 for the duration of their life to fulfill the covenant to another. 00:13:59.400 --> 00:14:05.700 It's your desire to sacrifice self and to lay self down for the benefit of another. 00:14:07.180 --> 00:14:14.660 The marriage covenant especially, is seen as an act of worship, because the Bible tells us in Malachi chapter two that God 00:14:14.660 --> 00:14:16.820 is present in those moments. 00:14:16.820 --> 00:14:24.840 And as Jesus iterates in Matthew 19, that whatever he joins together, let no man separate, a covenant reflects 00:14:24.840 --> 00:14:24.940 God. 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:35.380 It's no coincidence that when God describes his relationship to the church in the New Testament, that he chooses the illustration of the bride. 00:14:36.520 --> 00:14:38.480 The church to him is the bride and the. 00:14:38.900 --> 00:14:46.420 The phrase that Jesus uses for the bride is to demonstrate the covenant that Christ has given for us, a covenant that cost his 00:14:46.420 --> 00:14:47.180 life. 00:14:49.220 --> 00:14:54.680 So much so does he desire to establish that covenant that he has sacrificed everything? 00:14:56.760 --> 00:14:58.920 Regardless of your end of the contract. 00:15:02.040 --> 00:15:04.840 Jesus has given himself to you. 00:15:05.420 --> 00:15:09.850 And the Meritage covenant is the deepest of covenants that are established. 00:15:11.520 --> 00:15:14.220 You might sign a contract before your government. 00:15:15.540 --> 00:15:17.720 But you make a covenant before your God. 00:15:20.220 --> 00:15:26.780 I was trying to think of a good illustration for us in our culture today, because most of what we operate on is a is a contractual basis. 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:30.140 So what does it look like in our culture? 00:15:30.560 --> 00:15:32.480 What can we relate to for a covenant? 00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:35.780 And then I came up with this thought, today is today is Memorial Day. 00:15:36.600 --> 00:15:41.700 So got me thinking about the establishment of our country and the individuals that signed the Declaration of Independence. 00:15:43.740 --> 00:15:47.580 56 people or men signed the Declaration of Independence. 00:15:47.880 --> 00:15:50.620 And when they signed that paper, America started. 00:15:50.900 --> 00:15:54.540 But what they were doing was committing treason against the King. 00:15:55.500 --> 00:16:00.520 And so essentially, as they signed the Declaration of Independence, they were signing their death warrant. 00:16:01.660 --> 00:16:04.650 And so intrigued by that, I decided, I'm just going to read up on these guys. 00:16:05.680 --> 00:16:06.540 I mean, that is a sacrifice. 00:16:07.060 --> 00:16:11.660 Not only are they signing a contract in that declaration, but they are signing a covenant of their lives. 00:16:13.280 --> 00:16:16.100 The 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence. 00:16:16.160 --> 00:16:18.720 If you've not ever read about them, I would encourage you to do so. 00:16:18.740 --> 00:16:20.380 But this is the price they paid. 00:16:21.460 --> 00:16:27.890 I looked at these guys that sacrificed, and it's going to give us some statistics on some guys that tremendously sacrificed. 00:16:28.260 --> 00:16:31.360 And as I was studying these, the ones that I looked at didn't overlap. 00:16:31.740 --> 00:16:31.820 Okay. 00:16:31.920 --> 00:16:33.490 This will make sense in just let me tell you. 00:16:34.060 --> 00:16:39.630 Five signers of the declaration were captured by the British as traitors and tortured before they died. 00:16:40.220 --> 00:16:42.560 12 had their homes ransacked and burned. 00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:45.340 Two lost their sons in the revolutionary army. 00:16:45.540 --> 00:16:47.220 Another had two sons captured. 00:16:47.860 --> 00:16:53.820 Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds of hardship resulting from the Revolutionary War. 00:16:54.300 --> 00:16:59.340 These men signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor. 00:16:59.340 --> 00:17:05.500 They signed the Declaration of Independence, knowing full well that the penalty could be death if they were captured. 00:17:06.740 --> 00:17:08.930 As you read some of the stories, just a few that I read about. 00:17:09.040 --> 00:17:16.260 One guy saw that the British had invaded his home and were taking it over, and he came out from his house or away 00:17:16.260 --> 00:17:19.579 from his house, General George Washington standing on the outside of it. 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:24.660 And he this man ordered the decree to open fire on his own home. 00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:31.980 And he walked over to a cannon, and he lit the cannon that shot his house and destroyed all of his possessions, dying penniless. 00:17:33.500 --> 00:17:39.220 Another individual gave all of his money to supply to the Revolutionary War and died penniless. 00:17:40.820 --> 00:17:47.820 Many of the individuals who signed the Declaration of Independence died, having lost family and having 00:17:47.820 --> 00:17:49.700 lost all worldly possessions. 00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:51.820 That's a covenant. 00:17:54.040 --> 00:17:58.800 With all that you are, you understand the magnitude of the decision that you make. 00:18:00.220 --> 00:18:01.260 Because it's before your God. 00:18:02.900 --> 00:18:04.800 And he makes two become one. 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:08.960 Because a covenant is deeper than a contract. 00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:11.800 When it is severed, it does damage. 00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:15.640 You can separate a contract and move forward. 00:18:17.020 --> 00:18:20.100 But when you separate a covenant, it leaves a mark. 00:18:21.560 --> 00:18:29.660 I mean, the sacredness of what God is saying in this passage is that two become one, and God is supernaturally at work at that. 00:18:29.900 --> 00:18:36.940 Maybe it'd be like the illustration of this, that you would take two pieces of paper and you would glue them together, and after it's dried, you 00:18:36.940 --> 00:18:40.160 then decide that it would be important to have two pieces of paper again. 00:18:41.080 --> 00:18:41.990 And so you separate them. 00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.980 When you separate them, you do not get those papers back together. 00:18:47.800 --> 00:18:51.780 A part of one piece of paper will remain attached to the other paper. 00:18:53.820 --> 00:18:54.300 Pieces remain. 00:18:56.200 --> 00:19:03.460 That's not to say that Jesus can't heal, because I believe Jesus can heal everything, but is to recognize that the establishment of 00:19:03.460 --> 00:19:05.760 a covenant is deeper than a contract. 00:19:07.820 --> 00:19:13.840 Jesus is coming to these individuals in Matthew 19 and he's saying to them, guys, your wife, she's not a donkey. 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:16.680 She's not some possession. 00:19:18.060 --> 00:19:18.700 I mean, she's mine. 00:19:20.180 --> 00:19:22.540 And what I'm doing between you that you don't see as sacred. 00:19:23.880 --> 00:19:25.510 It's because you don't understand the idea of covenant. 00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:28.940 What I'm bringing together. 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:30.760 Let no man destroy. 00:19:30.760 --> 00:19:34.740 There is something sacred that I'm working with in your marriage. 00:19:34.740 --> 00:19:37.500 I created it to be beautiful before me. 00:19:39.560 --> 00:19:43.580 The second thought is this you reap what you sow. 00:19:45.120 --> 00:19:49.530 When it comes to relationships, you reap what you sow. 00:19:50.800 --> 00:19:57.820 The men that Jesus is talking to in the New Testament are finding they aren't reaping what it is they desire, and so 00:19:57.820 --> 00:20:01.000 their natural conclusion is then it's then it must be my wife's fault, right? 00:20:01.780 --> 00:20:08.930 I mean, you read all the way back from Genesis when the first when the first sin happened, Adam comes to God and said, God, the woman you gave me, 00:20:09.020 --> 00:20:13.940 she messed up and it's your fault because you gave her to me, right? 00:20:14.660 --> 00:20:17.160 It's everyone's fault but my own. 00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:20.220 And so they blame their wife. 00:20:21.160 --> 00:20:23.120 It would be like the equivalent of this. 00:20:23.120 --> 00:20:25.560 I'm getting rid of my car because it ran out of gas. 00:20:26.820 --> 00:20:28.360 And you would say to me, you goofball. 00:20:29.940 --> 00:20:30.800 Only if you were being nice. 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:31.580 That's how far you. 00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:32.580 You goofball. 00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:35.210 I mean, all you need is more gas. 00:20:37.220 --> 00:20:39.770 You reap what you sow. 00:20:40.820 --> 00:20:44.300 Book of Galatians adds to that thought for us in the New Testament. 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:47.620 It says in verse seven, do not be deceived. 00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:49.610 God is not mocked. 00:20:50.440 --> 00:20:54.450 For whatever a man sows this he will also reap. 00:20:54.840 --> 00:20:59.480 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 00:20:59.620 --> 00:21:06.880 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. 00:21:07.280 --> 00:21:09.440 You reap what you sow. 00:21:12.120 --> 00:21:19.520 Maybe this morning I would speak to our unmarried individuals and say, the decision of who you marry is 00:21:19.520 --> 00:21:21.280 crucial to your marriage. 00:21:22.300 --> 00:21:25.980 You don't marry someone with the expectation that you're going to change them. 00:21:26.560 --> 00:21:33.640 When you look for a person to marry, the encouragement with in Scripture is to marry a godly individual. 00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:42.160 Because in marrying a godly individual, you shape your identity in God and marrying a godly individual you 00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:44.560 reap a godly marriage. 00:21:46.940 --> 00:21:49.600 You want someone that lets Jesus lead? 00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:54.040 You want someone that understands as Jesus has led by serving. 00:21:54.500 --> 00:21:57.780 So we are to serve within our marriage. 00:21:58.580 --> 00:22:03.340 You want someone that knows what it means to live with godly character and repent when it doesn't. 00:22:04.560 --> 00:22:11.660 To not be focused on self and approach marriage with the idea of what can it do for me, but rather what can I give for you? 00:22:15.320 --> 00:22:19.130 Girls is looking for a man to marry. 00:22:20.280 --> 00:22:21.950 You want a guy that understands what it means? 00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:25.860 In Genesis, when God says that we'll work by the sweat of our brow. 00:22:27.900 --> 00:22:34.060 Understand in First Timothy chapter five and verse eight when it says, if a man doesn't provide for his own family, he's worse than an unbeliever. 00:22:34.140 --> 00:22:36.460 You want a young man to young ladies. 00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:43.840 You want a young man that knows what it means to get off the couch and stop playing video games and get his rear end focused on working 00:22:43.900 --> 00:22:46.120 to provide for what God has called him to provide. 00:22:49.660 --> 00:22:50.160 Young ladies. 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:53.330 For the young men. 00:22:53.580 --> 00:22:58.200 You want a young lady who understands what it means to walk with dignity and respect in this world. 00:22:59.500 --> 00:23:03.600 To know what it means to honor people and to treat them in a way that God would desire. 00:23:03.860 --> 00:23:03.920 We. 00:23:04.140 --> 00:23:11.260 We looked at Genesis just a couple of weeks ago that talked about the curse of women being affected in relationships, but 00:23:11.260 --> 00:23:16.140 the idea that ladies are more gifted in relational living than you are as men. 00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:19.320 Not that someone can't be. 00:23:20.060 --> 00:23:28.180 But her words and vocabulary in a day far surpasses your ability to just grunt for answers, right? 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:32.800 When she communicates, is she a gossip or does she communicate with dignity and in honor? 00:23:34.580 --> 00:23:36.280 Are both thoughts directed to Christ. 00:23:38.300 --> 00:23:39.720 You reap what you sow. 00:23:42.460 --> 00:23:44.540 But if you marry a godly individual as well. 00:23:44.540 --> 00:23:45.190 Can I tell you this? 00:23:47.340 --> 00:23:48.760 You will reap more than you sow. 00:23:50.280 --> 00:23:57.600 If you marry someone that understands the grace of God and the war that happens within our sinful nature, that we fall short. 00:23:57.780 --> 00:24:02.490 If you marry a godly individual, you will reap more than you sow. 00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:07.000 In her or in him, you will get far more than you deserve. 00:24:09.700 --> 00:24:10.970 I know from my own life. 00:24:11.360 --> 00:24:18.440 In college, I waited till I was out of college and started dating my wife, and it wasn't until a year or two after college that we were married. 00:24:18.560 --> 00:24:18.910 I can't even remember. 00:24:19.300 --> 00:24:20.660 So don't quote me on dates. 00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:21.500 But. 00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.080 But we were married and I spent time looking for this. 00:24:24.500 --> 00:24:31.600 I wanted that godly lady that I knew that even in my shortcomings, would still offer grace and give freedom for God to allow me to grow. 00:24:33.080 --> 00:24:36.300 In a godly relationship, you reap more than you sow. 00:24:37.560 --> 00:24:38.580 For married people. 00:24:38.580 --> 00:24:43.000 This morning I would say this married people you reap what you sow, right? 00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:46.260 I get what I, what I give in marriage. 00:24:46.300 --> 00:24:49.480 I heard a Pastor Craig Groeschel give, give this example once. 00:24:50.380 --> 00:24:57.400 He said, I gave my wife a bachelor pad and she walked in and goes, and she 00:24:57.400 --> 00:24:58.250 made it a home. 00:24:59.380 --> 00:25:01.820 And he said, I was reaping what I sow. 00:25:01.820 --> 00:25:07.850 And then I walked in with groceries one day and my wife comes in and she's like, and she made a meal. 00:25:08.080 --> 00:25:09.200 You reap what you sow. 00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:16.340 Or I came to my wife and I connected to her emotionally and relationship relationally, and she connects 00:25:16.340 --> 00:25:17.620 to me physically. 00:25:17.940 --> 00:25:21.340 And when I connected to my wife physically, she gave me kids. 00:25:21.640 --> 00:25:25.140 And if I was really good at it, she gave me lots of kids, right? 00:25:25.940 --> 00:25:27.780 You reap what you sow. 00:25:29.860 --> 00:25:31.210 But if you hand her a hard time. 00:25:32.900 --> 00:25:34.800 She will make your life a living. 00:25:36.280 --> 00:25:37.000 Whatever. 00:25:39.010 --> 00:25:41.680 If she ain't happy, you guys know it. 00:25:42.660 --> 00:25:44.380 Nobody is happy. 00:25:46.940 --> 00:25:48.220 You reap what you sow. 00:25:50.680 --> 00:25:51.720 Meaning to us this morning. 00:25:51.860 --> 00:25:53.580 If you don't like what you're getting. 00:25:55.340 --> 00:25:56.470 Look at what you're giving. 00:25:58.460 --> 00:26:00.800 Don't expect your spouse to change your marriage. 00:26:01.180 --> 00:26:03.240 God has called you to invest first. 00:26:04.560 --> 00:26:07.140 A negative attitude doesn't change things. 00:26:07.280 --> 00:26:14.280 We talked about the proverb that a nagging wife is worse than a constant dripping, and a man would rather live on the roof of his house than in 00:26:14.280 --> 00:26:15.500 a home with a nagging wife. 00:26:15.760 --> 00:26:18.220 Negativity doesn't change the relationship. 00:26:19.280 --> 00:26:23.000 You reap what you sow, I would say in addition to that. 00:26:24.120 --> 00:26:26.400 You also reap where you sow. 00:26:27.860 --> 00:26:33.520 Saying to us, if you plant a tree in a garden, you're not going to grow a tree in your yard. 00:26:35.120 --> 00:26:37.500 Where you plant is important. 00:26:37.500 --> 00:26:39.100 You reap where you. 00:26:39.500 --> 00:26:43.940 So if you put energy into your career, it doesn't help your marriage. 00:26:44.300 --> 00:26:50.840 If you make marriage about your kids, it doesn't help your marriage and that predicament. 00:26:50.840 --> 00:26:53.840 One day your kids will leave and you'll be left in your house with a stranger. 00:26:55.500 --> 00:26:57.350 You reap what you sow. 00:26:58.400 --> 00:27:05.640 Throughout this time together, we've discussed five areas of reaping and sowing in our relationship that in the end, 00:27:05.760 --> 00:27:12.900 we have a Bountiful reward of a joyful marriage, that we can be old together, staring across one another and 00:27:12.900 --> 00:27:13.380 say, you know what? 00:27:13.780 --> 00:27:14.400 We made it. 00:27:16.020 --> 00:27:18.360 You seek God. 00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.850 We talked about praying and how to present just the idea of prayer within the marriage relationship. 00:27:23.520 --> 00:27:24.420 You fight fair. 00:27:26.620 --> 00:27:33.660 You lay down the past and you think about the other person's interests and the way that Jesus would treat them, that's the way you treat them as you 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:35.220 engage conflict together. 00:27:35.520 --> 00:27:36.920 You have fun. 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:44.160 It's not just about a list of rules of trying to improve your relationship, because when you started to date your wife, we said it like this. 00:27:44.540 --> 00:27:48.360 You didn't date your wife to marry her, but you marry your wife to date her. 00:27:48.380 --> 00:27:55.540 When you when you were dating, you would go out and you just enjoyed one another's company and all of a sudden you're married and you wonder where that love went. 00:27:55.560 --> 00:27:56.680 Well, the dating died. 00:27:58.160 --> 00:28:00.080 She's way different now than when you married her. 00:28:02.500 --> 00:28:03.870 She's going to be different later. 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:06.780 And God's desire is that you know her. 00:28:07.040 --> 00:28:07.560 Have fun. 00:28:09.100 --> 00:28:13.550 Last week, we talked about staying pure and the purity of that covenant that God has given you. 00:28:14.500 --> 00:28:17.170 And today is this never, never give up. 00:28:18.760 --> 00:28:25.300 And so I want to close with this last thought that maybe Jesus is expressing and what he's saying to these individuals in Matthew. 00:28:26.820 --> 00:28:27.300 And that is this. 00:28:27.380 --> 00:28:28.470 This is more for the guys. 00:28:28.980 --> 00:28:30.550 But ladies, this apply for you as well. 00:28:31.840 --> 00:28:33.500 You have to be man enough to love. 00:28:35.760 --> 00:28:37.550 Love usually isn't a manly word. 00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:40.750 Are you man enough to love? 00:28:41.080 --> 00:28:41.790 This is what I believe. 00:28:43.420 --> 00:28:44.720 If our desires men. 00:28:46.120 --> 00:28:47.860 As for the women of the world to be loved. 00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:53.770 The best way for the women of this world to be loved is to reach the heart of the men in this world. 00:28:55.900 --> 00:29:03.660 I mean, society is teaching ladies this, that they're created as meat and objects and they're to use their bodies for just pleasure, 00:29:03.660 --> 00:29:09.240 for the opposite sex, robbing them of their worth and dignity and identity in God. 00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:18.300 And if our desires for that the ladies of this world to be loved as God has created them to be loved, then it's about reaching the hearts of the men of this world, 00:29:18.780 --> 00:29:21.360 to show the women of this world what true love really is. 00:29:23.080 --> 00:29:24.520 Are you man enough to love? 00:29:26.600 --> 00:29:31.500 Bible tells us in first Corinthians 13 and verse three, Paul lays out what marriage is. 00:29:31.500 --> 00:29:34.520 If you've ever been to a wedding, you've probably heard this quoted. 00:29:35.720 --> 00:29:39.180 Most of us could probably just quote it cold turkey off the top of our heads. 00:29:39.180 --> 00:29:46.400 But it says this in verse three, and if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not 00:29:46.500 --> 00:29:48.240 have love, it profits me nothing. 00:29:50.060 --> 00:29:50.900 Love is patient. 00:29:51.260 --> 00:29:51.900 Love is kind. 00:29:52.100 --> 00:29:52.800 It is not jealous. 00:29:52.940 --> 00:29:56.240 Love does not brag and it is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly. 00:29:56.740 --> 00:29:57.740 It does not seek its own. 00:29:57.740 --> 00:30:04.200 It is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with truth. 00:30:04.580 --> 00:30:09.840 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:12.500 Love never fails. 00:30:13.540 --> 00:30:15.880 Do you know how love makes this pronouncement in the world? 00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:17.660 It's in the face of opposition. 00:30:19.520 --> 00:30:24.540 Meaning, you don't really see how deep love can go until it's so difficult. 00:30:24.900 --> 00:30:27.600 That love just blazes through the adversity. 00:30:29.060 --> 00:30:35.900 Meaning, if I said it in a broken down thought, as Paul listens here before, love is an emotional experience. 00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:38.550 It's a decision of your will. 00:30:38.620 --> 00:30:42.240 Love sticks with you through the struggle because love is kind. 00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:46.980 Love carefully tends to the need when it looks tough, because love is gentle. 00:30:47.900 --> 00:30:50.060 Love isn't about I, but about others. 00:30:50.060 --> 00:30:52.440 Because love doesn't brag or seek its own. 00:30:53.260 --> 00:30:58.480 Love isn't about winning an argument, but reconciling and growing together because it counts. 00:30:58.720 --> 00:30:59.620 No wrong suffered. 00:31:01.260 --> 00:31:07.160 Love looks to the future of what God is building, even in the darkest of moments, because it believes in hope. 00:31:08.800 --> 00:31:15.820 Real love sticks around because love endures, and faithful love is 00:31:15.820 --> 00:31:22.160 the manliest thing you can do because love never fails. 00:31:23.760 --> 00:31:24.880 Again in that last phrase. 00:31:26.200 --> 00:31:27.850 It goes back to the idea of covenant. 00:31:29.860 --> 00:31:36.880 I don't think it's any mistake in Ephesians chapter five, when God looks to us through the apostle Paul and says, 00:31:37.020 --> 00:31:42.780 husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. 00:31:44.620 --> 00:31:45.420 It has covenant. 00:31:47.660 --> 00:31:52.810 I know as we reach and talk about that standard of love, this is what we can all say as men. 00:31:53.580 --> 00:31:53.940 I am guilty. 00:31:56.520 --> 00:32:00.310 There's no way I can ever live to that standard of love that God has called me to. 00:32:02.510 --> 00:32:03.360 But can I tell you this? 00:32:05.300 --> 00:32:11.580 It's a reminder in the book of Ephesians to say this to us as men and women, you need Jesus. 00:32:14.620 --> 00:32:17.240 Jesus is the model for all of this. 00:32:18.320 --> 00:32:22.300 Jesus is the model of what covenantal love is all about. 00:32:23.040 --> 00:32:30.480 The cross is the symbol to us of a God who has come for you, despite you to stay in the midst of 00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:32.620 your sin, I still love you. 00:32:32.620 --> 00:32:37.900 I'm still hoping and believing and enduring, and my love will never fail. 00:32:42.530 --> 00:32:45.170 Some of us need the taste of Christ in that way. 00:32:47.360 --> 00:32:49.280 To know we could never earn that love. 00:32:50.840 --> 00:32:52.490 But Jesus has given it. 00:32:54.140 --> 00:33:01.240 To know that no matter what I do or don't do, it's not up to me because Christ has already paid it all. 00:33:02.360 --> 00:33:03.980 You know what the gospel says to us? 00:33:04.860 --> 00:33:10.080 It's not about what you do to get to heaven, but it's about what has already been done. 00:33:10.460 --> 00:33:13.020 And in that we rejoice in love. 00:33:13.080 --> 00:33:20.360 Can I tell you in the freedom of a marriage relationship, it's not about what's done to deserve your love, but the lavishness of 00:33:20.360 --> 00:33:23.720 your love upon your spouse just encourages them. 00:33:23.740 --> 00:33:26.580 Continue to sing praise into your relationship as well. 00:33:26.800 --> 00:33:28.100 You reap what you sow. 00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:31.320 Jesus for us. 00:33:33.060 --> 00:33:33.680 Reaped grace. 00:33:35.340 --> 00:33:37.120 That in him we might experience joy. 00:33:38.120 --> 00:33:42.390 And in that joy reflect his love in this world. 00:33:43.120 --> 00:33:45.710 It's not about what we've done, but about what he did. 00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:52.450 It's not about me preaching this morning to change your spouse, but what God can do on the inside of you. 00:33:54.100 --> 00:33:55.740 So here's a reminder for us this morning. 00:33:57.220 --> 00:33:58.300 You can't undo your past. 00:34:00.340 --> 00:34:02.920 You can decide from this day forward to never give up. 00:34:04.500 --> 00:34:11.560 Maybe this morning you need to look at marriage and say to your wife, let's change things to make marriage 00:34:11.560 --> 00:34:13.699 number one as God desires. 00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:22.340 To look your spouse in the eye and say, honey, you are God's gift to me by a beautiful covenant we 00:34:22.340 --> 00:34:23.090 made. 00:34:23.120 --> 00:34:27.260 I want to be one with you and reap a harvest by what we've sown. 00:34:27.340 --> 00:34:28.860 I want to seek God with you. 00:34:28.860 --> 00:34:30.420 I want to fight fair with you. 00:34:30.540 --> 00:34:31.760 I want to have fun with you. 00:34:31.940 --> 00:34:33.440 I want to stay pure for you. 00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:35.440 And I don't want to ever give up. 00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:39.449 I want to love you as God has called me to love. 00:34:41.139 --> 00:34:41.940 Here's my big dream. 00:34:43.480 --> 00:34:43.800 One day. 00:34:43.800 --> 00:34:44.989 I want to be old as dirt. 00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:50.400 And I want you old as dirt, sitting right across from me. 00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:53.380 And I want to be having a beautiful breakfast together. 00:34:54.900 --> 00:34:59.420 And I just want to look out into the horizon as the sun comes up and I want to stare at you face to face. 00:34:59.620 --> 00:35:03.010 And just thank God that we made it. 00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.840 And those moments just reflect back of a life of ups and downs. 00:35:07.940 --> 00:35:11.870 But to recognize the grace of God that has been with me the whole way. 00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:16.360 As God has built two of us into one.