WEBVTT 00:00:00.460 --> 00:00:00.980 All right. 00:00:01.100 --> 00:00:05.600 So as biblical counselors, we view marriage. 00:00:05.700 --> 00:00:12.900 What we'd like to do when people come to us with issues as far as marriage is concerned, is we'd like to try to get them to the root 00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:13.620 of the problem. 00:00:14.500 --> 00:00:22.480 There's all kinds of things that can happen in marriage that lots of hurts and anguish and all that stuff that kind of builds up over time, and 00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:29.600 we tend to focus on those things, those hurts that the other spouse has done to us, that think that causes our 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:30.860 unhappiness. 00:00:30.860 --> 00:00:36.760 And what we try to do is kind of try to peel all that away, kind of like an onion, and get to the root of the problem of the issue. 00:00:36.800 --> 00:00:43.840 And that's kind of what I want to do today, is kind of expose to us the root as far as issues in our, in our, 00:00:44.180 --> 00:00:51.400 in our marriage, as far as arguments and arguments and fighting and bickering and all that stuff is just to get to the root 00:00:51.400 --> 00:00:58.540 of those things, and build the foundation, the biblical foundation to change from there. 00:00:58.680 --> 00:01:02.480 And so in order to build that foundation, we first have to start, as Pastor Nathaniel did last week. 00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:05.349 I wasn't in the service, but I was able to listen to it online. 00:01:05.480 --> 00:01:06.470 And I just want to recommend. 00:01:07.080 --> 00:01:11.440 That's a great way for us to carry the teaching we hear at church out throughout the week. 00:01:12.060 --> 00:01:19.340 A lot of us have access to smartphones or the computer throughout the week, and it's great to be able to dial up alpinebible.com 00:01:19.340 --> 00:01:24.280 and listen to the message that we just heard to renew what we were taught on Sunday. 00:01:25.240 --> 00:01:29.480 It's a great, ministry for us and a blessing for us. 00:01:29.500 --> 00:01:31.320 So I just want to recommend you doing that. 00:01:32.280 --> 00:01:36.070 So as I was listening, Pastor Nathaniel started here as well in Genesis. 00:01:36.740 --> 00:01:36.880 Right. 00:01:37.020 --> 00:01:40.920 We know that God speaks and we're thankful for that. 00:01:41.540 --> 00:01:42.990 He speaks in his general revelation. 00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:44.770 We see take a look around at the universe. 00:01:45.080 --> 00:01:52.390 And we have to admit that there was a creative, a higher being, 00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:54.750 a something that set all this into motion. 00:01:55.180 --> 00:02:02.220 And so we can tell just by the order of all things, that indeed there was a creator of all things, but that doesn't get 00:02:02.220 --> 00:02:07.400 to the heart of who he is and how he's revealed himself and how he's revealed himself is through words, right? 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:11.380 Thankfully, he's given us special revelation, specific revelation. 00:02:12.220 --> 00:02:16.000 And that's through his word, through the progressive human history. 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:23.060 He's given apostles and prophets the words through the God, the Spirit to and breathe the 00:02:23.060 --> 00:02:30.200 words to write down to us, to communicate his special, his specific revelation of who this creator is and what he's 00:02:30.200 --> 00:02:30.680 all about. 00:02:31.660 --> 00:02:31.760 Right. 00:02:31.860 --> 00:02:38.940 And so we have today, here in 2014, this amazing blessing of having God's completed word 00:02:38.940 --> 00:02:41.180 and God's completed revelation to mankind. 00:02:42.160 --> 00:02:44.430 But the beginning of all that is through. 00:02:44.780 --> 00:02:51.960 It starts in Genesis one, where God speaks the creation into existence, and he speaks Adam and Eve 00:02:51.960 --> 00:02:53.980 into creation and into existence. 00:02:54.740 --> 00:02:57.200 And we see here in Genesis 128, God blessed them. 00:02:57.200 --> 00:03:02.020 And God said to them, he's using words, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth. 00:03:02.260 --> 00:03:04.220 He's giving them his will. 00:03:04.220 --> 00:03:09.560 He's relating to him, to them, how he should they should interact with their creator. 00:03:10.420 --> 00:03:12.120 All these things is same with us. 00:03:12.500 --> 00:03:17.940 He's he reveals himself and he communicates how we are supposed to act with our creator through his word. 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:22.900 He did this to Adam and Eve and imagine this for just a moment. 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:26.860 All the words that were spoken in Genesis chapter one were godly. 00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:29.890 they were full of peace and truth. 00:03:30.500 --> 00:03:32.690 There was not one word that was spoken that was ungodly. 00:03:33.140 --> 00:03:37.280 There was not one bit of bitterness between Adam and Eve. 00:03:37.620 --> 00:03:40.120 Nothing like that ever existed in Genesis chapter one. 00:03:40.820 --> 00:03:44.780 Could you imagine your marriage without any conflict? 00:03:45.820 --> 00:03:49.440 That's kind of hard to even believe on this side of the fall, right? 00:03:50.140 --> 00:03:57.400 But that's how it was in Genesis one, and that was God's intention for his creation to be in complete harmony with their creator first, 00:03:57.400 --> 00:04:02.770 and then with the horizontal relationships, the family structure beginning with the spouse, and then the children later. 00:04:03.640 --> 00:04:04.880 It's supposed to be complete harmony. 00:04:07.480 --> 00:04:12.120 But we all know, sadly, that Genesis one, Genesis one is long gone, right? 00:04:13.410 --> 00:04:17.399 and in Genesis three we have the great deceiver, Satan. 00:04:18.060 --> 00:04:18.480 Satan speaks. 00:04:19.620 --> 00:04:26.960 So for the first time in creation, there was a different set of words being spoken in the garden. 00:04:27.560 --> 00:04:29.610 And these words were one of deception. 00:04:30.540 --> 00:04:37.440 And he, Satan, called God in his power and his authority, and challenged him on those things. 00:04:38.020 --> 00:04:40.360 And the very words of God were being challenged. 00:04:40.580 --> 00:04:45.500 As we look at Genesis three, did God really say, um? 00:04:45.700 --> 00:04:50.520 And he began to provide them a different interpretation of God's words, right? 00:04:50.520 --> 00:04:54.980 Genesis three four, no, you will not die if you take of the of the fruit, partake of the fruit. 00:04:55.720 --> 00:04:55.860 Right? 00:04:55.920 --> 00:04:56.710 It's a different interpretation. 00:04:57.080 --> 00:04:59.850 And sadly, we know that Adam and Eve believed. 00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:08.180 That different interpretation and spun humanity into sin and 00:05:08.180 --> 00:05:08.860 devastation. 00:05:10.880 --> 00:05:18.420 So because of that, because they believe Satan and believe that different interpretation of God's words and did 00:05:18.420 --> 00:05:24.040 not submit to God's authority, but to another their relationship with God was severed. 00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:32.180 That what God had designed, a complete, perfect cohesiveness between God vertically and horizontally in other 00:05:32.180 --> 00:05:34.500 relationships had been uprooted by sin. 00:05:36.080 --> 00:05:39.440 And that also played out in Adam and Eve's relationship. 00:05:39.580 --> 00:05:41.640 And we see it here in Genesis 311. 00:05:42.660 --> 00:05:47.370 It says the Lord asking Adam, who told you that you were naked? 00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:50.520 Did you eat from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from? 00:05:51.400 --> 00:05:58.360 The man replied, the woman you gave me to be with, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate. 00:05:59.920 --> 00:06:02.550 So the Lord asked the woman, what is this you have done? 00:06:02.600 --> 00:06:03.940 And the woman said, it was a serpent. 00:06:04.660 --> 00:06:05.820 He deceived me, and I ate. 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:12.180 So as we look into God's Word, we understand that God has order in all things and in marriage. 00:06:12.740 --> 00:06:14.940 Man is the man. 00:06:14.940 --> 00:06:23.120 The husband is supposed to be the federal head, the spiritual leader of that unit, that cohesive unit and all that are their equal in importance 00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:25.300 and equality and all that. 00:06:25.300 --> 00:06:28.100 There's still order that God had laid out in that marriage structure. 00:06:29.420 --> 00:06:35.820 And the failure was really on Adam to not be that spiritual leader, to allow this to happen. 00:06:36.080 --> 00:06:38.570 And so God comes to Adam, not to Eve, what has happened. 00:06:38.620 --> 00:06:42.560 And he says it's the woman's fault, right? 00:06:43.340 --> 00:06:51.140 He didn't say, God, I didn't step up as the spiritual leader, the federal head of this family that you've given me and 00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:56.660 step in and protect this beautiful lady that you've given me. 00:06:57.740 --> 00:06:59.640 Instead, he blame shifted. 00:07:00.520 --> 00:07:02.200 Well, it's the woman's fault. 00:07:02.680 --> 00:07:03.430 It's not my fault. 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:07.420 He also not only blamed Eve, but he accused God, did he not? 00:07:08.260 --> 00:07:09.720 It's the woman that you gave me. 00:07:09.860 --> 00:07:11.160 It's actually your fault, God. 00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:12.860 You gave me this. 00:07:13.400 --> 00:07:14.060 This person. 00:07:14.580 --> 00:07:16.280 It was the person that you gave me. 00:07:16.280 --> 00:07:23.320 And so this marriage, this thing that was meant to be a reflection of God and who he is and unity and community of 00:07:23.420 --> 00:07:32.040 marriage became very broken in a sudden fall from God's 00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:34.480 presence and his control. 00:07:35.880 --> 00:07:40.220 Sin spun us off into what we see now, today, all around us. 00:07:40.840 --> 00:07:48.140 Devastation, sickness, hatred, murder, all those things were all caused from back 00:07:48.140 --> 00:07:51.580 in the Garden of Eden, when sin began to wear its ugly head. 00:07:53.200 --> 00:08:00.440 And our words no longer were pure words that were from the root of God, that were designed to uplift and encourage 00:08:00.440 --> 00:08:01.120 and exhort. 00:08:02.180 --> 00:08:03.440 They became another. 00:08:03.640 --> 00:08:05.120 There was another root of words, right? 00:08:06.340 --> 00:08:10.200 Blame shifting, hatred, anger. 00:08:10.840 --> 00:08:14.500 All these things began to rear their heads, in our words, to one another. 00:08:15.580 --> 00:08:22.640 And in our society today, I think it's really I think everybody would agree that we all can meet in a 00:08:22.640 --> 00:08:28.720 social gathering like today, and we can all extend, common courtesies and graces, believers and unbelievers alike. 00:08:29.400 --> 00:08:36.080 But when we come to the family unit, right, the closest neighbor that you have is who your spouse. 00:08:37.380 --> 00:08:38.000 And it's there. 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:41.159 We see these roots, the roots of the Lord. 00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:45.360 And the roots of Satan begin to rear their ugly heads or battle with one another. 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:53.760 I would hope that we could all agree that we've often spoken in the roots 00:08:53.760 --> 00:09:00.940 of our words of from the roots of Satan, where we, instead of uplifting and encouraging and exhorting our spouse that 00:09:01.140 --> 00:09:08.240 God has given us, we use them to cut down and write, return, uh, 00:09:10.680 --> 00:09:12.180 just in conflict. 00:09:13.640 --> 00:09:18.100 Those things happen in our marriage because of what had happened in the Garden of Eden. 00:09:20.380 --> 00:09:24.020 Matthew five 1518 Christ is speaking here. 00:09:24.020 --> 00:09:25.430 He puts it pretty much. 00:09:25.880 --> 00:09:32.950 He finds the root of this problem of our words with one another, our words to our spouse, 00:09:33.220 --> 00:09:34.740 the closest neighbor that we have. 00:09:35.580 --> 00:09:40.720 He says, but what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and this defiles a man. 00:09:41.680 --> 00:09:49.090 So what we speak is really a reflection of what's going on in our heart are these words that we're speaking life giving words, 00:09:49.920 --> 00:09:52.200 roots from the word rooted in the Word of God? 00:09:52.900 --> 00:09:56.450 Or are they words mean meaning to take away life or to? 00:09:58.640 --> 00:10:05.330 Destroy and to cut down into attack and to malign another person. 00:10:06.020 --> 00:10:10.020 So Christ is saying that the words that flow out of our mouth are really a heart issue. 00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:12.220 That's what's going on. 00:10:13.940 --> 00:10:20.860 The wisdom literature there in Proverbs, Proverbs 1821, life and death are in the power of the tongue. 00:10:22.040 --> 00:10:24.240 We have the ability to give life with our speech. 00:10:25.380 --> 00:10:31.580 We have the ability to speak of death and speak those negative aspects into someone's life. 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:37.220 With all what we decide to do with our tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit. 00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:38.160 Right? 00:10:38.160 --> 00:10:41.640 So these words that we speak to one another. 00:10:44.140 --> 00:10:46.100 It stems from the fall. 00:10:46.140 --> 00:10:47.250 It stems from sin. 00:10:47.660 --> 00:10:52.220 As Pastor Nathaniel uh uh, revealed to us last week. 00:10:55.050 --> 00:10:58.740 So let me ask you, just take a few seconds here. 00:11:00.020 --> 00:11:02.800 As we like I said, we can all extend common courtesies to one another. 00:11:02.860 --> 00:11:10.220 But when we're in the heat of the battle in the middle of the week and we just got home from work after working a 12 hour day, what normally, 00:11:11.220 --> 00:11:13.860 what route do our words normally come from? 00:11:14.460 --> 00:11:15.510 Are they coming from God? 00:11:16.900 --> 00:11:18.120 Are they coming from? 00:11:18.380 --> 00:11:19.420 The deceiver? 00:11:20.760 --> 00:11:22.700 What are we speaking into our families? 00:11:23.220 --> 00:11:24.510 What are we speaking into our relationships? 00:11:26.500 --> 00:11:29.080 I have to tell you that I had to go and confess. 00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:32.900 I said, I'm going to be a hypocrite tomorrow, Tara. 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:40.440 I'm going to tell stand up before all these people and tell them that they need to understand that, they 00:11:40.440 --> 00:11:42.500 shouldn't be speaking words from the root of the devil. 00:11:42.860 --> 00:11:44.740 And I know that I do that often to you. 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:45.550 And so I apologize. 00:11:46.280 --> 00:11:50.480 I ask for your forgiveness because I won a lot of things. 00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:51.810 But the one thing I don't want to be is a hypocrite. 00:11:52.140 --> 00:11:59.280 But I know the majority of the time, if I'm not engaged in the things of God, the words 00:11:59.280 --> 00:12:01.700 in which I speak are rooted in the deceiver. 00:12:02.660 --> 00:12:09.960 The words that I speak are rooted with me on the throne, that I need to have peace 00:12:09.960 --> 00:12:11.480 in my life. 00:12:11.520 --> 00:12:18.580 And so the words that I speak are about me and controlling my environment so that I can have my control in those 00:12:18.580 --> 00:12:19.040 things. 00:12:19.040 --> 00:12:23.500 And instead of submitting my control back to God. 00:12:23.780 --> 00:12:24.520 So. 00:12:25.340 --> 00:12:30.030 That is where what we are to conclude the things that come from our mouths are from our heart. 00:12:30.300 --> 00:12:32.190 We have a heart problem, do we not? 00:12:33.280 --> 00:12:35.440 But there's good news, right? 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:36.620 The gospel. 00:12:36.760 --> 00:12:38.310 Gospel means good news. 00:12:38.600 --> 00:12:39.820 I'm so glad there's good news. 00:12:40.880 --> 00:12:42.000 Genesis 315. 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:49.220 That same section where the deceiver has come and destroyed looks like he's destroyed all that God had designed for mankind as 00:12:49.240 --> 00:12:52.220 the image bearers of God in His creation. 00:12:53.300 --> 00:12:58.480 He spun that marriage into disarray, and blame shifting began and accusations began. 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:02.430 God said, there's hope. 00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:05.000 Genesis 315 I will put hostility between you. 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:08.700 He's talking to the devil and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. 00:13:09.580 --> 00:13:12.940 He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel. 00:13:14.220 --> 00:13:15.400 It's a personal pronoun. 00:13:15.400 --> 00:13:15.800 There, he. 00:13:16.880 --> 00:13:20.070 This is the first glimpse of what God was to do. 00:13:20.700 --> 00:13:24.620 He was telling the devil, you think you might have screwed things up, but I'm not done. 00:13:25.460 --> 00:13:26.560 I'm going to send a redeemer. 00:13:27.880 --> 00:13:28.520 I'm going. 00:13:28.520 --> 00:13:28.840 This. 00:13:28.840 --> 00:13:32.060 He will come and he will defeat you. 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:39.560 And what you've done, he will redeem and he will rescue a people and restore this people back to his original 00:13:39.560 --> 00:13:41.760 intention of mankind. 00:13:42.620 --> 00:13:49.940 And that is complete harmony with God first and foremost, and working that out in our horizontal relationships 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:53.600 with one another, beginning with our spouse. 00:13:55.060 --> 00:13:56.780 So that's the good news. 00:13:56.880 --> 00:13:57.770 Christ did come. 00:13:59.260 --> 00:14:01.280 And then John in the New Testament. 00:14:01.280 --> 00:14:08.400 John chapter one has this wonderful declaration that this God who speaks has sent his word, the 00:14:08.400 --> 00:14:15.460 Redeemer, to come into his existence, to redeem a people, to rescue a people from this sin and this 00:14:15.460 --> 00:14:21.160 heart that is rooted in the in the in the words of the devil and the deceitfulness of the devil. 00:14:22.900 --> 00:14:24.450 And I just love reading it. 00:14:24.580 --> 00:14:29.320 In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the word was God. 00:14:29.960 --> 00:14:31.340 He was God in the beginning. 00:14:32.140 --> 00:14:37.950 All things were created through him, and apart from him not one thing was created that was created. 00:14:38.860 --> 00:14:43.160 Life was in him and that life was the light of men. 00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:47.240 It goes on in verse 11, he came to his own. 00:14:47.780 --> 00:14:48.820 He came into the world. 00:14:48.820 --> 00:14:53.800 He was rejected by the Israelites as a whole, and his own people did not receive him. 00:14:54.680 --> 00:15:01.720 But to all who did receive him, he gave them the right to become or to be children of 00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:06.530 God, to those who believe in his name. 00:15:08.400 --> 00:15:10.240 So this Redeemer has come. 00:15:10.660 --> 00:15:17.880 And the gospel message is this, that through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, that we are full of sin, we are separated from God. 00:15:18.060 --> 00:15:18.940 This Redeemer. 00:15:18.940 --> 00:15:26.280 From Genesis 315, God used the history of mankind to bring this Redeemer into existence or 00:15:26.280 --> 00:15:28.620 into the creation as existence. 00:15:28.620 --> 00:15:35.580 He's always existed, but God the Son has stepped into his creation to redeem and rescue a people. 00:15:35.760 --> 00:15:37.680 And he's given us the requirements for this rescue. 00:15:37.880 --> 00:15:44.940 If you need rescue today, if you need redemption, if you see the scars of sin in your life and have come to 00:15:44.940 --> 00:15:50.240 that point where you understand that you in no way can do it through behavior modification and get rid of those things in your life. 00:15:51.240 --> 00:15:55.880 There is the rescuer and Redeemer who stands ready to rescue you. 00:15:57.140 --> 00:16:00.450 And John declares it right here to those who believe in his name. 00:16:01.020 --> 00:16:05.860 So this sin that we, that we have Christ lived, stepped into his creation. 00:16:05.900 --> 00:16:12.100 And because he was God, he lived that perfect existence without sin, because he was the Lamb of God, without spot or blemish. 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:20.040 But then he willingly went to the cross, and on that cross God the Father poured out his wrath on 00:16:20.040 --> 00:16:22.380 the sin, not his sin, because he was without sin. 00:16:22.920 --> 00:16:29.940 But God the Father poured out his wrath on His Son for our sin because 00:16:29.940 --> 00:16:30.500 of that. 00:16:31.020 --> 00:16:31.600 That's the gospel. 00:16:32.020 --> 00:16:36.960 Because Christ went on our behalf and was punished for our on our account. 00:16:38.420 --> 00:16:45.500 We can now become, as John says, children of God, that restoration of separation that happened back in the 00:16:45.500 --> 00:16:46.580 garden can be restored. 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:48.770 And what do we have to do? 00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:55.640 It doesn't say here to join a church and be baptized and do the best you can for the rest of your life. 00:16:56.580 --> 00:16:57.000 It says believe. 00:16:58.400 --> 00:16:59.500 Believe in the gospel message. 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:04.119 Understand that you are unable to work your way back to God. 00:17:04.900 --> 00:17:12.020 Trust and believe that this Messiah has come in the Son of God, Jesus Christ, and that Son of 00:17:12.020 --> 00:17:15.220 God went to the cross for you and died for your sins. 00:17:15.760 --> 00:17:21.280 And all those who believe and trust in that the penalty that you deserve was placed on him. 00:17:21.280 --> 00:17:23.200 Therefore I have become a child of God. 00:17:23.780 --> 00:17:29.220 If you believe and trust in that, you are adopted into the family of God. 00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:32.760 It's this wonderful thing that's called regeneration that tied us. 00:17:32.760 --> 00:17:35.080 And multiple scriptures in the New Testament speaks about. 00:17:35.080 --> 00:17:42.520 But when that truly happens, when you repent and turn to God and trust in him and what he's done on the cross, that 00:17:42.520 --> 00:17:49.720 this regeneration happens, that this something happens to our heart that was separated from God, is now alive and wants to 00:17:49.720 --> 00:17:50.680 seek after God. 00:17:51.620 --> 00:17:54.640 It's given us a new heart that desires for him. 00:17:55.780 --> 00:17:56.520 And guess what else? 00:17:57.560 --> 00:18:00.450 If you've given been given that heart by accepting the gospel. 00:18:01.980 --> 00:18:04.960 That heart can also allow you to change to the power of Christ. 00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:10.960 And the grace he has given all those who believe and trust in his name. 00:18:12.300 --> 00:18:20.180 But to all who did receive him, he gave him the right to become the children of God, to those who believe in his name, who 00:18:20.180 --> 00:18:28.160 were born not of blood or of the will of the flesh, or of the will of man, but of God. 00:18:28.420 --> 00:18:30.190 It's the being born again. 00:18:30.320 --> 00:18:38.000 I used to tease people that were saying they were born again believers when I was a kid, but it's so important to be born again, be 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:42.920 given that new heart, be regenerated by trusting and believing in the gospel of Jesus Christ. 00:18:43.300 --> 00:18:47.860 And as we do that, we begin to walk with the Lord. 00:18:49.040 --> 00:18:54.420 It's God's hope that we begin to walk with the God and understand that he's given us the avenue to reverse the curse. 00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:01.540 Those words that we speak that were rooted in the devil no longer have to be there because we have a new heart. 00:19:01.940 --> 00:19:03.660 We are a child of God. 00:19:04.100 --> 00:19:08.780 We can now walk in his light and in his power and his grace, and we can. 00:19:10.620 --> 00:19:11.220 Get rid of that. 00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:12.480 Die to the old man. 00:19:13.820 --> 00:19:14.640 Live in the new man. 00:19:16.040 --> 00:19:23.860 So the first part of understanding how we can fight fair in our relationships is understanding the problem sin. 00:19:25.020 --> 00:19:25.840 Because of the fall. 00:19:26.380 --> 00:19:32.420 But understanding the solution to the problem is Christ and His a relationship with him. 00:19:34.200 --> 00:19:36.020 So and we can begin to change. 00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:39.270 So I wanted this to be try to be practical today. 00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:40.520 Okay. 00:19:40.560 --> 00:19:46.100 I want to be able to have you guys walk away from this and, um. 00:19:47.700 --> 00:19:55.100 Have some some practical application that if you so choose, so you can try to apply to your life and to your relationship 00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:55.960 with your spouse. 00:19:56.980 --> 00:20:00.400 So how can genuine change through the power of the gospel? 00:20:00.420 --> 00:20:01.750 How does that occur? 00:20:02.900 --> 00:20:03.600 How does that occur? 00:20:04.900 --> 00:20:10.400 James, the half brother of Jesus, said this draw near to God and he will draw near to you. 00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:18.680 Okay, so the first part of change is just as you had that moment where you realized 00:20:18.680 --> 00:20:23.320 that you could not save yourself because of your sin, and so you turn to God. 00:20:23.740 --> 00:20:26.290 It's really the lifestyle of the Christian from that point forward. 00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:33.780 The ability and the willingness to understand that I need to draw closer and closer and closer to God. 00:20:34.320 --> 00:20:41.500 And there are some, elderly saints that have been walking with the Lord in this congregation a lot longer than I 00:20:41.500 --> 00:20:41.740 have. 00:20:42.940 --> 00:20:47.780 And I guarantee you, if you ask them, they say they would say they still need to draw closer. 00:20:48.940 --> 00:20:49.560 It never ends. 00:20:50.820 --> 00:20:58.060 We need to begin by understanding we have no power and to change our hearts within ourselves. 00:20:58.100 --> 00:20:59.120 We have to draw to God. 00:20:59.880 --> 00:21:01.980 We have to be closer to God. 00:21:02.120 --> 00:21:04.560 And then he goes on to say, cleanse your hands, sinners. 00:21:05.960 --> 00:21:06.860 And so what does that mean? 00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:11.400 Well, it means the practical side of changing our behavior. 00:21:12.700 --> 00:21:15.780 You speak out in anger often in your home and to your spouse. 00:21:16.300 --> 00:21:17.000 You need to change that. 00:21:18.260 --> 00:21:23.960 You need to understand that those words are rooted in the deceiver, not the life giving words of the Lord. 00:21:25.040 --> 00:21:27.040 You need to change that, and so you need to stop yourself. 00:21:27.220 --> 00:21:30.880 You need to come up with ways in which you can change that. 00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:32.920 But behavior modification doesn't go far enough. 00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:34.860 Okay. 00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:40.300 We're talking about a new heart that God has given us, and we want that heart to overtake the old. 00:21:41.100 --> 00:21:45.460 And so he goes on to say, and I think James agrees here. 00:21:45.460 --> 00:21:48.300 And purify your hearts, double minded people. 00:21:49.580 --> 00:21:50.300 Anybody? 00:21:51.880 --> 00:21:52.460 Atheist. 00:21:53.200 --> 00:22:00.500 Any religion can do behavior modification, but only a child of God can purify their hearts through 00:22:00.500 --> 00:22:01.280 the power of the gospel. 00:22:02.300 --> 00:22:03.720 And that's what James is declaring to us. 00:22:04.340 --> 00:22:06.540 You must purify your heart. 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:08.620 Quit being double minded. 00:22:09.560 --> 00:22:11.000 Cognitive cognitive dissonance. 00:22:11.280 --> 00:22:18.320 Right where Christians on Sunday, and then we're going out and not putting one thought into how we're speaking to one 00:22:18.320 --> 00:22:20.450 another, and to our spouses and to our family. 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:23.720 We must purify our hearts. 00:22:26.420 --> 00:22:28.260 What effectively controls your heart. 00:22:28.840 --> 00:22:29.740 That's the issue. 00:22:30.040 --> 00:22:36.270 If you want change in your life, you're going to have to take some time and figure out who's on the throne of your heart. 00:22:38.340 --> 00:22:44.420 I can tell you that Jesus came into this world to save you and to redeem you, so that he can be on the throne of your heart. 00:22:45.820 --> 00:22:46.500 And not yourself. 00:22:47.060 --> 00:22:54.260 It's a constant dethroning of yourself on the altar of your heart and your comfort and your pleasure, and 00:22:54.260 --> 00:22:59.860 in your power and allowing God and Jesus through Jesus Christ, to reign in you. 00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:05.300 So how does that happen? 00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:06.780 How can we purify our hearts? 00:23:07.600 --> 00:23:07.700 Right. 00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:08.500 We're trying to make this practical. 00:23:09.620 --> 00:23:14.780 And Nathaniel used this same passage again last week, but it's just of utmost importance. 00:23:14.820 --> 00:23:17.220 Matthew 22, verses 37 through 40. 00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:23.360 So Jesus here is the context, is that Jesus is walking in his earthly ministry. 00:23:23.360 --> 00:23:30.760 And the Pharisees, these religious leaders who had gone through great lengths to display their outward righteousness in the works of 00:23:30.760 --> 00:23:37.500 the law that they did, they tried to kind of trip Jesus up, and they asked him, what's the greatest commandment? 00:23:38.600 --> 00:23:40.300 And this is what Jesus declared to them. 00:23:40.680 --> 00:23:46.300 He said to them, love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. 00:23:48.280 --> 00:23:48.620 All of it. 00:23:49.380 --> 00:23:51.760 All of your heart, all of your soul. 00:23:53.360 --> 00:23:53.980 All of your mind. 00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:56.320 This is the greatest and most important commandment. 00:23:57.880 --> 00:24:01.880 The second is like it love your neighbor as yourself. 00:24:05.080 --> 00:24:12.100 And there was a time before I understood the way in which God changes us, that I would put those 00:24:12.100 --> 00:24:13.360 into two different categories. 00:24:13.780 --> 00:24:13.980 Okay. 00:24:14.580 --> 00:24:14.860 All right. 00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:16.250 Because I'm a checklist guy. 00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:16.600 All right. 00:24:16.760 --> 00:24:17.480 So I want to change. 00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:20.670 So give me the things I need to do so I can change. 00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:21.020 Right. 00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:24.100 Love the Lord your God with all your soul all through okay I'm going to love the Lord. 00:24:25.060 --> 00:24:26.260 And then I'm going to do that. 00:24:26.280 --> 00:24:30.180 And then I'm going to I'm going to go do service work on Saturday so I can love my neighbor. 00:24:31.360 --> 00:24:32.260 It's not that way. 00:24:33.260 --> 00:24:34.340 It doesn't work that way. 00:24:34.580 --> 00:24:35.560 It's not two compartments. 00:24:35.640 --> 00:24:36.660 It's not two separate things. 00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:44.150 They're both encompassed the first if we need to, if we want to change, if we want to love our neighbor. 00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:44.880 And who is our closest neighbor? 00:24:45.940 --> 00:24:46.820 If you're married today? 00:24:47.740 --> 00:24:50.100 Your spouse if we want to love our neighbor. 00:24:52.120 --> 00:24:58.040 Like ourselves, we have to get the first commandment right. 00:24:59.960 --> 00:25:04.040 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. 00:25:06.540 --> 00:25:07.660 That's the greatest commandment. 00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:23.500 See, the thing is if we begin to focus on that first commandment of loving the Lord your God with all your soul, 00:25:23.540 --> 00:25:28.180 with all your mind, with all your mind, all those things, it's naturally going to flow out horizontally. 00:25:29.660 --> 00:25:30.460 Okay, let me show you. 00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:32.600 And this is kind of a warning. 00:25:32.620 --> 00:25:34.140 This next in John chapter six here. 00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:35.780 It's kind of a warning for us as Christians. 00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:41.320 We want to make sure that Jesus isn't the way in which we can have a better marriage, okay? 00:25:41.620 --> 00:25:43.190 Because that's not what the gospel is about. 00:25:43.540 --> 00:25:47.640 And John six, Jesus here is talking or he just got done. 00:25:47.760 --> 00:25:48.520 It's a well familiar story. 00:25:49.280 --> 00:25:54.440 He's, takes a loaf of bread and he feeds 5000 people. 00:25:55.540 --> 00:25:55.720 Right. 00:25:56.660 --> 00:26:01.880 And it's this wonderful, miraculous miracle that a lot of people know and have heard before in their lifetime. 00:26:03.100 --> 00:26:10.620 But the interesting thing about that is the scriptures go on in John chapter six to say that the people saw what he did and they said, this is the Messiah, this 00:26:10.620 --> 00:26:12.250 one that was prophesied from the Old Testament. 00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:14.000 He has come, let's grab him. 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:14.770 Let's make him king. 00:26:15.760 --> 00:26:17.080 That's exactly what he is, right? 00:26:17.760 --> 00:26:18.400 But what did Jesus do? 00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:20.580 He withdrew himself. 00:26:21.860 --> 00:26:21.960 He. 00:26:23.280 --> 00:26:24.140 Vanished. 00:26:24.140 --> 00:26:26.820 I mean, he withdrew himself from the situation. 00:26:26.980 --> 00:26:30.100 He didn't allow them to bring him to that king or that throne ship. 00:26:30.860 --> 00:26:31.660 And we got to ask why? 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:33.700 Why did he not? 00:26:34.800 --> 00:26:35.830 That's what he was here for. 00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:38.320 He's the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. 00:26:39.560 --> 00:26:42.160 The people saw for that, and he withdrew himself. 00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:45.760 And so the people as us maybe are a little confounded. 00:26:45.800 --> 00:26:46.520 Well, why did that happen? 00:26:47.020 --> 00:26:55.140 And in John chapter six, verse 25, he says, when they found him, the people, they're searching after him because he withdrew himself on 00:26:55.140 --> 00:26:56.020 the other side of the sea. 00:26:56.020 --> 00:26:58.640 They said to him, Rabbi, when did you get here? 00:26:58.660 --> 00:27:02.160 Jesus answered, I assure you are looking for me. 00:27:02.520 --> 00:27:03.440 He goes, I am the Messiah. 00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:09.250 Not because you saw the signs, but because you ate the loaves and were filled. 00:27:11.600 --> 00:27:13.180 What he's saying here is you missed the point. 00:27:15.180 --> 00:27:16.220 You want to follow me? 00:27:16.220 --> 00:27:19.160 You want to make me king because your physical belly has been filled. 00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:22.710 When that was an intended sign. 00:27:23.660 --> 00:27:25.710 I like how John uses the instead of miracle. 00:27:25.760 --> 00:27:26.620 He uses the word sign. 00:27:27.120 --> 00:27:31.640 If we're going to go on vacation, right, and we're going to go to a destination, we follow the signs. 00:27:32.840 --> 00:27:33.950 Let me see the sign to Disneyland. 00:27:35.140 --> 00:27:35.660 50 miles. 00:27:35.820 --> 00:27:38.330 We don't pull up and go, all right, kids, we're here. 00:27:38.440 --> 00:27:39.840 Disneyland, right? 00:27:39.840 --> 00:27:40.340 It's a sign. 00:27:40.920 --> 00:27:43.770 It's meant to point us to the destination. 00:27:45.420 --> 00:27:45.640 Right. 00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:49.740 And Christ, at that moment, by feeding the 5000, he was demonstrating his power and his glory. 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:51.220 But he wasn't there to fill their bellies. 00:27:51.560 --> 00:27:57.840 He was there to give them a sign that the one that the scriptures had promised has come. 00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:03.160 But he goes on verse 27, don't work for the food that perishes. 00:28:04.120 --> 00:28:04.860 Don't work for that. 00:28:05.620 --> 00:28:08.480 You're seeking me because you're physically satisfied. 00:28:09.360 --> 00:28:15.320 Don't work for the but for the food that lasts for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. 00:28:15.560 --> 00:28:18.580 Because God the Father has set his seal of approval on him. 00:28:19.260 --> 00:28:25.600 Jesus said to them, I assure you, Moses didn't give you the bread from heaven, but my father gives you the real bread from heaven. 00:28:26.580 --> 00:28:33.180 That bread that I give, that I turned into, and the multitudes, that's not the bread of heaven. 00:28:34.380 --> 00:28:39.640 And he goes on, for the bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life. 00:28:44.560 --> 00:28:48.980 And then they said, verse 34, sir, give us this bread always. 00:28:50.760 --> 00:28:53.680 Verse 35, he said, I am the bread of life. 00:28:53.740 --> 00:28:55.450 They were still looking through their physical eyes. 00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:56.300 Well, give us this bread. 00:28:56.640 --> 00:28:57.860 He says, I am the bread of life. 00:28:59.260 --> 00:29:00.820 I am the one you need to be feasting on. 00:29:01.560 --> 00:29:04.760 That miracle was to point you to the true bread. 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:07.120 That was just a sign. 00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:08.360 The true destination is me. 00:29:09.560 --> 00:29:10.900 Live your life in me. 00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:12.340 Feast on the bread of heaven. 00:29:13.840 --> 00:29:19.400 And that is what if you desire change in your in your relationship with your spouse. 00:29:19.420 --> 00:29:23.530 If there's far too much rooting of from the from the deceiver. 00:29:24.400 --> 00:29:31.160 You must begin by feasting on the Lord Jesus Christ, the true bread of heaven. 00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:34.440 That's fulfilling the first commandment, is it not? 00:29:34.980 --> 00:29:36.670 Love the Lord your God with all your soul, with all your. 00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:39.620 God has revealed himself. 00:29:40.980 --> 00:29:44.240 Through Jesus and we can feast on him. 00:29:44.760 --> 00:29:52.060 And as we feast on him, if we're a children of God, if we've accepted the gospel, we begin to feast on him and learn of him, 00:29:52.300 --> 00:29:56.080 and we'll be spiritually nurtured and satisfied in him. 00:29:56.740 --> 00:29:59.700 Guess what's going to happen to our relationships horizontally? 00:30:00.900 --> 00:30:03.840 It practically, it just does it by itself, right? 00:30:03.840 --> 00:30:11.200 If we're feasting on God and through Jesus, the true bread of life, our physical, our horizontal relationships will naturally work themselves out. 00:30:15.660 --> 00:30:23.180 And the amazing thing that happens if we're truly doing that, if we understand that the first commandment, what God really wants us to do is focus on him and 00:30:23.180 --> 00:30:30.500 feasting on him and learning in spirit and being spiritually grown in him, we begin to look at our relationships around us through 00:30:30.500 --> 00:30:31.480 the eyes of the Lord. 00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:40.140 He's our redeemer, he's our rescuer, and he's given us as to his children of God, a responsibility 00:30:40.140 --> 00:30:42.880 to be agents of redemption here on earth. 00:30:43.740 --> 00:30:50.800 Agents of rescue here on earth, in your workplace, in where you play cards on Friday night. 00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:52.760 in your marriage. 00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:56.320 That is who you are as a child of God. 00:30:56.960 --> 00:30:59.100 He wants you to be an agent for him. 00:30:59.760 --> 00:31:02.450 An agent of rescue, an agent of redemption. 00:31:03.120 --> 00:31:09.600 And so suddenly we go to our spouse and we begin to see them in a different light. 00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:13.190 We begin to see them as we're feasting on the Lord Jesus Christ. 00:31:13.340 --> 00:31:20.560 We begin to see that she, just like yourself, is in need of the rescuer and the Redeemer, and 00:31:20.560 --> 00:31:27.400 that God has sovereignly given you a chance to be that agent of rescue and redemption in that marriage. 00:31:28.460 --> 00:31:35.100 And so your spouse suddenly no longer becomes the object in which prevents you from enjoying your life. 00:31:37.060 --> 00:31:38.620 Your spouse suddenly becomes. 00:31:40.180 --> 00:31:47.380 Someone that needs you to walk alongside them, instead of butting heads and warring against one another with 00:31:47.380 --> 00:31:48.660 the roots of the words of the Deceptor. 00:31:49.900 --> 00:31:56.900 What God has given us in marriage, if it's from the roots of the Lord, is someone to walk along with one another, realizing that this person 00:31:56.900 --> 00:32:03.940 suffers from the same problems you do, and that the sin that originated back in the garden, but that Jesus Christ has 00:32:03.940 --> 00:32:08.280 come to redeem her or him and rescue them. 00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:12.400 And he wants you to be an agent for that purpose. 00:32:14.660 --> 00:32:17.410 It's a different paradigm in which we look at our spouses. 00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:22.560 No longer are they the enemy preventing us from enjoying the marriage. 00:32:23.420 --> 00:32:26.140 It's someone that God has given us to be. 00:32:26.860 --> 00:32:32.980 Walk alongside them and bear their burdens with them, and help them feast on the word on the bread of life. 00:32:33.940 --> 00:32:34.720 All right. 00:32:36.940 --> 00:32:40.100 So how does that really work? 00:32:40.740 --> 00:32:42.920 Up to this point, it's idealist, idealistic, right? 00:32:44.020 --> 00:32:44.800 It's great. 00:32:44.900 --> 00:32:46.180 It's one thing I learned in college. 00:32:46.620 --> 00:32:50.560 There's a lot of people there that can spout off theology, but practical. 00:32:51.260 --> 00:32:53.240 How can we make this practical? 00:32:54.220 --> 00:33:01.320 How can we see these truths that God has given us in Scripture and see our position in Christ, and then make that work to 00:33:01.320 --> 00:33:02.560 where we can truly feast? 00:33:02.600 --> 00:33:04.860 I say feast on the bread of life. 00:33:05.380 --> 00:33:06.000 Feast on Jesus. 00:33:06.060 --> 00:33:06.740 How do we do that? 00:33:08.300 --> 00:33:09.010 Well, there's many ways. 00:33:10.320 --> 00:33:17.520 And if this spurs you to seek us out or to seek anybody else out in the church to help walk 00:33:17.520 --> 00:33:25.140 alongside you and to give you more, more direction, it's kind of hard to tell you all the ways you can feast on the on Jesus Christ practically in 00:33:25.140 --> 00:33:25.960 a sermon. 00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:26.960 We'd love to see you. 00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:31.540 As Pastor Nathaniel would love to talk with you, Tara. 00:33:31.580 --> 00:33:37.660 And I would love to walk alongside you and show you because we see ourselves in much, just as much need as you do. 00:33:38.940 --> 00:33:39.200 Right. 00:33:39.200 --> 00:33:43.600 I need you just as much as you may need us as far as working this out practically. 00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:50.280 And the one thing that I did take away from my biblical counseling is especially in the marriage, is the. 00:33:50.540 --> 00:33:55.000 The professor was a discipleship pastor at a very large church in LA. 00:33:55.780 --> 00:34:01.870 And, he told us, he said, the problem you're going to the biggest problem you're going to face is that every. 00:34:02.420 --> 00:34:09.239 Well, he said 99% of the couples that come to you for marriage counseling have come in the moment of crisis. 00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:13.560 At the next step separation, the next steps divorce. 00:34:14.580 --> 00:34:16.360 So that's a lot of pressure right? 00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:18.400 Yeah. 00:34:19.360 --> 00:34:23.690 But that's the problem is we wait till it's the crisis point. 00:34:23.940 --> 00:34:27.940 We try to pretend like everything's okay, everything's fine. 00:34:27.940 --> 00:34:30.280 And then the crisis comes and the next step. 00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:31.659 And so I took that and I'm like, whoa! 00:34:32.800 --> 00:34:35.739 And it's true, it's true. 00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:42.080 But the one thing I did do is I didn't think Tara and I were having marital issues. 00:34:42.080 --> 00:34:47.190 And I don't think she would say outright that they were really bad or crisis point. 00:34:47.580 --> 00:34:48.659 But I did take that. 00:34:48.659 --> 00:34:54.520 And I'm like, well, maybe we need to, step out and go see someone before the crisis hits. 00:34:54.540 --> 00:34:55.120 And guess what? 00:34:55.580 --> 00:34:56.760 There were some things to work on. 00:34:58.160 --> 00:35:05.570 There still are, but I'm so glad we took that time to meet with the pastor and to meet with this counselor. 00:35:07.140 --> 00:35:08.460 Get those things out on the table. 00:35:09.200 --> 00:35:15.280 Get ourselves walking alongside one another in the direction that God had set for us through the scriptures. 00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.500 So glad that we had that opportunity before it reached the crisis moment. 00:35:20.720 --> 00:35:21.880 So it's just something to think about. 00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:25.420 And counseling isn't biblical. 00:35:25.500 --> 00:35:28.520 Counseling isn't like we just sit across the table and there's no charge. 00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:30.480 We just want to walk alongside you. 00:35:31.680 --> 00:35:36.160 As I walk with my wife, I want to be, walking with others that are trying to walk with theirs. 00:35:37.200 --> 00:35:38.640 And Tara does the same thing with the women. 00:35:39.040 --> 00:35:41.020 They love to be able to do that for you and with you. 00:35:41.900 --> 00:35:43.860 That's what the New Testament church is all about. 00:35:44.840 --> 00:35:46.280 Carrying one another's burdens. 00:35:46.340 --> 00:35:48.640 Walking alongside one another as we follow Christ. 00:35:50.660 --> 00:35:51.520 So how do we do that? 00:35:55.640 --> 00:36:02.640 So as we begin to focus on the vertical relationship feasting on the Word of Christ horizontally, things begin to 00:36:02.640 --> 00:36:03.940 play themselves out. 00:36:03.980 --> 00:36:09.800 And I think Colossians chapter three, verse 16, kind of summarizes it very well for us. 00:36:11.100 --> 00:36:13.540 It says there, loving your neighbor is a life of service. 00:36:16.160 --> 00:36:19.960 So as we begin to do that, we love the love is not. 00:36:20.020 --> 00:36:27.520 As Pastor Nathaniel said last week, it's not this very emotional, gooey thing that this world proclaims 00:36:27.520 --> 00:36:28.100 it to be. 00:36:28.660 --> 00:36:29.660 But love is service. 00:36:30.220 --> 00:36:34.880 It's sacrifice, self sacrifice without any expectation of getting anything in return. 00:36:36.220 --> 00:36:38.960 That's the love of the neighbor that Christ is asking us to be. 00:36:39.700 --> 00:36:46.700 And so as we, the vertical becomes an alignment, as we feast on the Word of Christ horizontally, that plays out 00:36:46.700 --> 00:36:51.520 in serving others, serving your closest neighbor first and foremost in your marriage. 00:36:52.600 --> 00:36:59.660 So Colossians 316 says, let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all 00:36:59.660 --> 00:37:05.800 wisdom, and singing songs, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 00:37:06.920 --> 00:37:12.240 So he says, let this message of the Messiah, the gospel, the good news that he has come and he has rescued and redeemed. 00:37:12.460 --> 00:37:15.480 You dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another. 00:37:16.160 --> 00:37:18.370 We go out and we serve, and we teach others. 00:37:18.860 --> 00:37:23.450 We bring them along, we disciple them in the things of Christ, and we admonish. 00:37:24.440 --> 00:37:24.600 Right. 00:37:25.580 --> 00:37:29.320 God allows the church to be accountable to one another. 00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:31.420 Those are all healthy things. 00:37:34.580 --> 00:37:38.160 And that's what Christ desires us to do in those horizontal loving your neighbor relationships. 00:37:40.200 --> 00:37:41.450 Beginning with your spouse. 00:37:42.040 --> 00:37:46.360 But he also says in Colossians three, before he says that, he says this. 00:37:48.660 --> 00:37:55.780 Therefore, in verse 12, therefore God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, 00:37:56.660 --> 00:38:00.900 gentleness, patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another. 00:38:00.900 --> 00:38:07.340 And if anyone has a complaint against another, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive. 00:38:08.220 --> 00:38:10.240 Above all, put on love. 00:38:11.080 --> 00:38:12.220 The perfect bond of unity. 00:38:12.660 --> 00:38:19.740 So before he admonishes us or tells us that we need to go out and serve, love other people by serving, teaching 00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:25.280 and admonishing and singing songs and hymns and reading as a church and doing all these things he says, put on these things. 00:38:27.800 --> 00:38:30.350 It's like a soldier in a foxhole. 00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:31.770 If you're a soldier. 00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:32.500 Forgive me. 00:38:32.520 --> 00:38:39.200 I have no idea what I'm talking about here, but, all of a sudden, I just was trying to think of an illustration. 00:38:39.340 --> 00:38:40.060 This is what I came up with. 00:38:40.120 --> 00:38:40.640 Sorry. 00:38:40.900 --> 00:38:43.330 So say you're in a foxhole with your buddies. 00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:48.740 All of a sudden, a firefight starts ensuing, and you need to get to another foxhole, okay? 00:38:49.080 --> 00:38:49.920 And your armor is off. 00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:51.680 Right. 00:38:52.080 --> 00:38:58.020 Everybody else's armor is on, but your armor is off, and you pick up the armor and you start running to the other foxhole in the middle of the battle. 00:38:58.060 --> 00:38:58.570 What are you doing? 00:38:59.080 --> 00:39:01.840 Your friends would say you got to put on your armor. 00:39:03.080 --> 00:39:04.800 You got to put that stuff on to protect you. 00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:07.840 You can't engage in battle if you're not protected. 00:39:08.920 --> 00:39:11.360 And this is, I think, what Paul is trying to tell us here. 00:39:12.180 --> 00:39:15.820 Look, we're going to go out and we're going to have a battle Monday morning. 00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:18.760 We're going to have a battle, if anything, with our words. 00:39:20.420 --> 00:39:24.340 And what we need to do is put on these things. 00:39:24.500 --> 00:39:29.290 We need to spend some time before we go out into battle and put on the armor that God has given us. 00:39:30.060 --> 00:39:37.100 So put on compassion, put on kindness, put on humility, put on gentleness, put on patience, acceptance, 00:39:37.120 --> 00:39:37.960 forgiveness, love. 00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:40.100 You need to put all these things on before you go out. 00:39:40.500 --> 00:39:43.580 Or you engage your wife in an issue in the marriage. 00:39:45.420 --> 00:39:52.900 Now, if you're like me, you're saying, well, that's great, that's very idealistic, but that's pretty impossible for me to do every day. 00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:53.720 What do you mean, put on kindness? 00:39:54.040 --> 00:39:54.420 Put on. 00:39:55.160 --> 00:40:00.060 Well, if you really think about it, what he's really asking us to do is put on Christ. 00:40:01.420 --> 00:40:04.650 If you look at each one of those are that's Christ. 00:40:05.700 --> 00:40:07.760 Those are the things that Christ has demonstrated to us. 00:40:08.960 --> 00:40:09.710 Are you a believer today? 00:40:10.680 --> 00:40:17.680 Can you see his compassion for you and in spite of who you are and how many mistakes you've had, he cares for you. 00:40:17.800 --> 00:40:19.080 He has compassion for you. 00:40:19.580 --> 00:40:20.170 Put on kindness. 00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:26.200 I'm so glad that I don't wake up and Jesus decides to be unkind to me. 00:40:27.240 --> 00:40:28.200 He's always kind. 00:40:29.980 --> 00:40:37.120 If I'm seeking him and feasting in him, and if even if I turn away for a little while and I repent and come back to him, he's there 00:40:37.120 --> 00:40:41.560 and he extends kindness, humility. 00:40:41.620 --> 00:40:49.260 Philippians two talks about Jesus being humbled because he was in heaven and enjoying his eternity with the 00:40:49.260 --> 00:40:55.900 unity and community of the Trinity, and he stepped out of that and into this world so that he could redeem a people. 00:40:56.480 --> 00:40:59.490 He humbled himself and took upon the form of a servant. 00:41:01.200 --> 00:41:02.900 Those are things we need to put on. 00:41:03.380 --> 00:41:04.250 We need to put on Christ. 00:41:05.480 --> 00:41:05.880 Patience. 00:41:06.720 --> 00:41:07.580 I'm so glad he's patient. 00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:14.320 So glad I don't go to him for the 175,000 time and ask him for forgiveness of anger towards my wife. 00:41:15.380 --> 00:41:18.840 And then I say, nope, I'm I'm done with you. 00:41:19.300 --> 00:41:19.540 No patience. 00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:21.440 He's very patience. 00:41:22.180 --> 00:41:25.940 He provides and gives us acceptance and forgiveness as children of God. 00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:29.880 And even if your spouse isn't a believer, these things. 00:41:31.100 --> 00:41:35.020 He stands ready to give him these things and love. 00:41:36.560 --> 00:41:37.400 That's self sacrifice. 00:41:38.760 --> 00:41:41.100 That's all these things embody Christ. 00:41:41.620 --> 00:41:47.300 And Paul's telling us if we want to change, if we want to have true change, you need to put on Christ. 00:41:47.900 --> 00:41:49.320 You need to feast on the word of life. 00:41:49.940 --> 00:41:56.120 You need to obey the first commandment by loving the Lord your God with all your soul, with all your heart, and with all your mind.