WEBVTT 00:00:00.780 --> 00:00:04.720 As a church, we kind of operate on a very simple basis. 00:00:06.860 --> 00:00:12.220 And that being that what Jesus has to offer our lives is the best that any of us could hope for in this world. 00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:15.560 And not just this world and also eternity to come. 00:00:16.860 --> 00:00:19.180 God created us for a reason. 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:21.090 God created us for a purpose. 00:00:22.620 --> 00:00:27.960 And in knowing him and knowing that reason, we truly live for why God has designed us. 00:00:29.240 --> 00:00:31.780 The Bible promises as we follow after Jesus. 00:00:32.140 --> 00:00:34.050 What we experience in our life is joy. 00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:42.740 Meaning it may not always be easy and things may not always go the way we want it to, but what God promises us through the power 00:00:42.740 --> 00:00:45.770 of His Spirit as it works in our life is joy. 00:00:47.300 --> 00:00:52.660 If you're with us this morning and I'm going to imagine everyone here physically present is also with us, right? 00:00:54.320 --> 00:01:00.160 We've just come to the very tail end of a series that we've been looking at together, and it's How to Build a Christ centered home. 00:01:00.300 --> 00:01:01.920 This is the last portion of this series. 00:01:02.260 --> 00:01:07.340 If you're interested in going back and listening to this series online, there's we think we have half of it posted right now. 00:01:07.340 --> 00:01:08.730 The other half will be up here very shortly. 00:01:09.620 --> 00:01:16.820 If not, I know I should probably apologize to some of you, because typically when we go through a marriage series, what it means for you guys is every once in a while, you get a slap from 00:01:16.820 --> 00:01:19.080 your wife letting you know what you're doing wrong, right? 00:01:19.620 --> 00:01:21.780 So you may not want to listen to it again, but. 00:01:22.600 --> 00:01:24.780 But this series How to Build a Christ Centered Home. 00:01:24.800 --> 00:01:27.800 Our focus as a church family is on the family. 00:01:29.820 --> 00:01:32.580 God created the family as the first institution. 00:01:33.620 --> 00:01:40.460 Before there was a church, before there was a single Jewish person, before Jesus was even walking this earth. 00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:45.600 What God created was the family to carry out his functioning, purpose and desire for this world. 00:01:46.080 --> 00:01:47.410 And the family is important. 00:01:49.080 --> 00:01:56.100 This morning, as we began to examine just the tail end of this series together, I'll take 00:01:56.100 --> 00:01:57.230 a step back and understand. 00:01:57.440 --> 00:01:59.020 As we've looked through portions of Scripture. 00:01:59.660 --> 00:02:05.050 What's going on in the idea of the early Christian mind when they first began to follow Jesus? 00:02:06.980 --> 00:02:09.280 Christianity is really built on two simple principles. 00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:16.880 If you've ever examined it yourself, really, if you want to disprove Christianity, all you have to do is 00:02:16.880 --> 00:02:20.930 disprove the validity of the Bible or who Jesus claims to be. 00:02:22.200 --> 00:02:28.240 All of Christianity is built on the trustworthiness of Scripture and the validity of who Christ is. 00:02:30.620 --> 00:02:38.220 I have, even in my own study in my life, as I've come to know Jesus, and as I was skeptical in following Christ with my own life, raised 00:02:38.220 --> 00:02:45.240 a lot of challenging questions for myself personally and decide, if I was going to follow Jesus and if I wanted 00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:52.240 to follow what he taught in this world, I wanted to throw everything in the book at him, everything I could at the Bible, every challenge I could think of to present before 00:02:52.240 --> 00:02:52.790 him. 00:02:52.980 --> 00:02:59.840 Because if there was some fallacy in following after Christ, I didn't want to do it because he wasn't worthy to follow after you. 00:03:01.420 --> 00:03:08.340 One of the first mistakes I made very early on in following after Jesus in my life is that I began to look at other people as an example of who Christ was. 00:03:10.460 --> 00:03:17.820 And what I found out in the lives of people is that people will always disappoint you, no matter what belief or religion or position you might carry an idea 00:03:17.820 --> 00:03:19.540 of who God is at some point. 00:03:19.560 --> 00:03:24.190 If you look to that person as an example, they will disappoint you in the way that they choose to follow Jesus. 00:03:24.420 --> 00:03:26.340 After all, the Scripture tells us that we are fallible. 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:28.250 We are sinful. 00:03:29.660 --> 00:03:36.780 When I began to realize that, and I just started to following after Jesus with my own life, and I and I started studying the scripture from my own life, 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:39.320 not examining other people and testing it to see whether it's true. 00:03:39.380 --> 00:03:40.760 The Bible even tells you to do that. 00:03:41.100 --> 00:03:43.640 Prove all things hold fast to that which is good. 00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:51.380 What I found is that no matter what I threw at Christ, he always stood as a pillar to what I believed throughout 00:03:51.380 --> 00:03:52.020 history. 00:03:52.080 --> 00:03:57.900 You can even find various individuals who challenged Belief and faith in Christ. 00:03:59.440 --> 00:04:00.360 People such as C.S. 00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:01.870 Lewis, who wrote the book Mere Christianity. 00:04:04.280 --> 00:04:11.540 Josh McDowell, writing about his master's statement while he was going to, I believe, Michigan State University challenging the validity of 00:04:11.540 --> 00:04:17.500 who Christ was as an agnostic or an atheist, went to disprove Jesus and Christianity. 00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:21.980 And yet he came out with this book called evidence that demands a verdict and placed his faith in Christ. 00:04:22.680 --> 00:04:27.000 It's a very detailed book on how he came to trust in who Jesus was. 00:04:29.300 --> 00:04:36.190 All of Christianity is based on the trustworthiness of Scripture and Jesus. 00:04:37.400 --> 00:04:38.060 The early church. 00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:40.440 Many people came to know the Lord. 00:04:40.440 --> 00:04:46.680 In fact, in the book of acts it says at one particular point over 3000 people trusted in who Christ was. 00:04:47.620 --> 00:04:54.820 You can imagine the way that this faith in who Jesus was, the proclamation, if you could even imagine by these early disciples and apostles, followers 00:04:54.820 --> 00:04:57.980 of Jesus saying, A dead man is walking. 00:04:59.940 --> 00:05:02.320 What a proclamation or even a statement. 00:05:02.340 --> 00:05:06.480 How absurd to even suggest such a thing that a man who died has risen from the grave. 00:05:08.340 --> 00:05:13.090 Giving their lives to say they saw a dead man walking. 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:20.540 In the book of Corinthians, it even tells us that over 500 people at one point saw the resurrected Christ. 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:28.340 Collectively together validating his resurrection to the point that even the early apostles would say to one another, 00:05:28.380 --> 00:05:30.280 just ask so-and-so. 00:05:30.280 --> 00:05:31.590 Check with the 500 witnesses. 00:05:31.740 --> 00:05:32.520 See that it is true. 00:05:32.580 --> 00:05:34.200 Jesus has risen from the grave. 00:05:37.440 --> 00:05:40.880 They referred to himself in the very beginning as followers of the way. 00:05:43.080 --> 00:05:44.840 Later they received the name Christian. 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:51.600 In the early first century, it was intended to be a derogatory remark meaning a little Christ. 00:05:53.540 --> 00:06:00.660 By the beginning of the second century, the name Christian no longer carried with it a derogatory remark, but it became a name to be proclaimed by anyone who 00:06:00.660 --> 00:06:04.120 followed Jesus out of praise for what Christ had done in their life. 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:12.260 And so today, as a church, we refer to ourselves as we follow Jesus as Christians, followers of him. 00:06:12.520 --> 00:06:14.290 Jesus was their teacher. 00:06:15.220 --> 00:06:15.800 He was their leader. 00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:18.500 They were his students. 00:06:20.380 --> 00:06:23.140 He was their God. 00:06:23.580 --> 00:06:30.620 They were learning as they followed Jesus what it meant to have a godly life, what it meant to be a disciple 00:06:30.620 --> 00:06:31.890 of him. 00:06:33.420 --> 00:06:37.260 And in so doing, what they began to recognize is as they followed Jesus. 00:06:37.260 --> 00:06:40.140 Jesus wasn't just changing their life, they were. 00:06:40.400 --> 00:06:42.720 He was changing the lives of those around him as well. 00:06:44.480 --> 00:06:51.520 As they begin to follow Jesus, they saw transformational power not happening just within their own heart and mind, in the way that they chose to live life and the 00:06:51.520 --> 00:06:58.740 pursuits that they followed after they began to notice that family and friends were seeing something powerfully happening with within 00:06:58.740 --> 00:07:01.700 their lives and begin to question, who is this Jesus? 00:07:03.860 --> 00:07:05.730 What does this have to do with marriage and the family? 00:07:07.660 --> 00:07:08.540 Our kids have an answer. 00:07:10.350 --> 00:07:11.680 It was wrong. 00:07:12.770 --> 00:07:20.080 You know, at one point in ministry, the Christians began to look at themselves and their families, 00:07:20.100 --> 00:07:23.980 and they begin to realize that though people came to know Jesus, not everyone did. 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:28.330 Some people just didn't want to trust him. 00:07:30.620 --> 00:07:38.010 Some of the people who were going to church noticing that God was changing their families, were also noticing that God wasn't changing every family. 00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:46.980 And so in the book of Corinth, written to the Apostle Paul and to the apostle Peter, you'll find questions about what to do 00:07:46.980 --> 00:07:54.140 with your family when not everyone wants to follow after Jesus They wrote to the Apostle 00:07:54.140 --> 00:07:54.580 Paul. 00:07:54.620 --> 00:08:01.440 The book of Corinthians is a book totally of all questions asking what do we do in a scenario when we want to build a Christ centered home? 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:03.840 If not everyone is interested in following Jesus? 00:08:04.840 --> 00:08:11.880 Now, whether we're talking about being an unbeliever or simply someone in your family who trusted in Christ at one point but is not interested 00:08:11.880 --> 00:08:14.520 in following after him, what do we do in that situation? 00:08:17.060 --> 00:08:22.540 Both Paul and Peter answered that question within a couple passages of scripture that we're going to look at this morning. 00:08:23.980 --> 00:08:27.880 Those passages come in first Corinthians and first the book of First Peter. 00:08:29.240 --> 00:08:34.039 Paul deals with the practical side, your perspective, your attitude. 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:36.419 Rightfully so. 00:08:36.419 --> 00:08:43.559 Both Peter and Paul really only address the believer in this situation, because it's the believer who's only interested in making the choice that Jesus 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:45.510 wants for their family. 00:08:46.740 --> 00:08:50.220 In First Corinthians, Paul addresses the perspective or the attitude of the Christian. 00:08:50.220 --> 00:08:53.300 And in first Peter, Peter addresses the actions of the Christian. 00:08:53.340 --> 00:08:55.240 What should we do in that scenario? 00:08:57.580 --> 00:09:04.840 This morning, let me just start by simply asking the question as a family together, if you find yourself in this boat, how 00:09:04.840 --> 00:09:08.220 should I view my marriage if my spouse does not follow Jesus? 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:11.400 You know the concern in early Corinth. 00:09:12.380 --> 00:09:15.980 They had a lot of different religious practices happening within the city. 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:18.440 A lot of different followings, religious rituals. 00:09:18.700 --> 00:09:21.510 I hate religion, but it was involved in that situation. 00:09:22.300 --> 00:09:29.220 And these religious rituals were intended to be an outward display to God, that it was some kind of cleansing perspective before God. 00:09:29.260 --> 00:09:36.360 So God would find you acceptable, as if you eventually did enough that eventually God would look down on you from heaven and say, okay, I guess you've done enough 00:09:36.360 --> 00:09:36.820 good works. 00:09:36.880 --> 00:09:38.610 You might be worthy of coming before my presence. 00:09:38.720 --> 00:09:39.820 So go ahead, come on up. 00:09:40.240 --> 00:09:47.580 And if you didn't involve yourself in all those good works, then what you were perceived as before God is defiled or unable to come before his presence, not 00:09:47.580 --> 00:09:54.880 worthy of standing before him and the Corinthians and first Corinthians seven were learning what it meant to follow after Jesus. 00:09:54.940 --> 00:09:59.320 How it's Jesus who does all the cleansing work, how it's Jesus who takes all away all your sins. 00:09:59.380 --> 00:10:02.020 But their concern still came for the family. 00:10:02.040 --> 00:10:04.860 What if what if I'm following Jesus and no one else in my family is? 00:10:04.860 --> 00:10:08.440 If is their presence around me going to defile me in my walk with God? 00:10:10.820 --> 00:10:14.340 And Paul simply answers this question with an emphatic no! 00:10:15.820 --> 00:10:19.340 He says to the rest, I say, I, not the Lord. 00:10:19.340 --> 00:10:23.620 Meaning Jesus never specifically spoke on this topic, but Paul is now addressing it. 00:10:23.960 --> 00:10:30.020 He says that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:38.090 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 00:10:39.500 --> 00:10:40.680 I like this passage. 00:10:41.640 --> 00:10:48.780 It makes me uncomfortable a little bit that Christians would think that far in understanding a relationship with Jesus, but I like the fact that 00:10:48.780 --> 00:10:55.040 they were willing to ask Paul the questions that they had on their minds just to find out what God's interest was in their life since they were following him. 00:10:55.560 --> 00:11:00.420 And they asked God, God, if I'm married to an unbeliever, should it be of my interest to get a divorce? 00:11:01.460 --> 00:11:04.060 Or should I look to marry someone who is a believer in that situation? 00:11:04.640 --> 00:11:06.780 Is it going to mess up my relationship and following after you? 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:08.280 What is your interest in this? 00:11:08.500 --> 00:11:11.800 And Paul's answer is simply an emphatic no, you shouldn't. 00:11:12.880 --> 00:11:17.410 God's got you in a specific place for a specific reason. 00:11:18.120 --> 00:11:25.180 His first response, and maybe verse 12 and 13 is, If I'm involved in a marriage and we don't see eye to eye on 00:11:25.180 --> 00:11:32.560 who Jesus is and following after him, the first response that Paul gives us in verse 12 and 13 on our perspective is just simply be 00:11:32.560 --> 00:11:33.360 committed. 00:11:35.220 --> 00:11:38.240 I think even in your first point, I have as well be content. 00:11:40.140 --> 00:11:42.470 You're exactly where God wants you. 00:11:43.500 --> 00:11:49.950 You know, something we've learned about marriage is we've studied together is that no matter where we are in our state with in a marriage, it can be better. 00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:50.940 It can always grow and improve. 00:11:52.180 --> 00:11:54.420 God's desire for us right is to become one flesh. 00:11:55.260 --> 00:11:59.540 The thing that destroys that desire to become one flesh is sin. 00:12:00.260 --> 00:12:04.590 The same the thing that helps us to become one flesh is unity. 00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:08.620 More so, more specifically unity in Christ. 00:12:09.660 --> 00:12:14.760 And so the more that we pursue after that unity, the better our relationship gets before the Lord and with one another. 00:12:16.340 --> 00:12:21.600 But we always have a tendency as people to think that the grass is greener on the other side. 00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:30.180 What we saw in the first lesson together is that our relationship is not going to be healthy, if what we 00:12:30.180 --> 00:12:31.720 bring into it is an act of coveting. 00:12:33.680 --> 00:12:35.270 It's not about keeping up with the Joneses. 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:40.720 It's about being committed to the person that God has you married to right now. 00:12:42.680 --> 00:12:49.330 Paul gives an emphatic answer know God's desire for you is to stay right where you are. 00:12:50.680 --> 00:12:56.940 And I recognize one thing about this passage of scripture Paul's referring to physically leaving that marriage relationship. 00:12:58.920 --> 00:13:02.280 But you don't have to physically leave a marriage relationship to check out. 00:13:02.920 --> 00:13:03.290 You know what I mean? 00:13:04.680 --> 00:13:11.180 We could also emotionally disconnect from that marriage relationship that God has given us the opportunity and the grace to be involved with. 00:13:12.440 --> 00:13:13.560 God's desire for you. 00:13:13.580 --> 00:13:21.040 If you're a believer, if you're following after Jesus, is to continue and always continue to be committed to the one that God has 00:13:21.040 --> 00:13:23.140 brought before you, in which you have said, I do. 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:25.480 Commitment. 00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:33.260 It's an example that tells us in the book of Micah in which we have gone into this marriage covenant before God. 00:13:35.800 --> 00:13:42.800 Second, in referring to our attitude, what God desires for us, no matter what marriage relationship we find ourselves in, is to be 00:13:42.900 --> 00:13:50.200 thankful he says, for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and 00:13:50.200 --> 00:13:54.200 the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. 00:13:56.380 --> 00:13:56.720 Meaning this. 00:13:56.720 --> 00:14:04.620 It doesn't mean that because you're a spouse and you're married, that though your spouse doesn't choose to follow Jesus, that you 00:14:04.620 --> 00:14:06.480 may or may not have the peace of eternity together. 00:14:07.040 --> 00:14:14.480 What it's saying is because you're involved in that marriage relationship, because you're following after Jesus, what you've caused your family to be is holy 00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:16.520 or set apart for God. 00:14:16.900 --> 00:14:22.240 You're becoming a blessing to the family and ministering the truth of God into their lives in such a gracious way. 00:14:24.200 --> 00:14:31.360 You think about these last few weeks, seven weeks we've spent together in understanding what it means to be a follower of Jesus and building a 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:32.380 Christ centered home. 00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:36.040 Direction that God has given us for our marriage together. 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:44.040 And now God has blessed you with the opportunity of ministering that to your family, whether they're believers or not. 00:14:45.500 --> 00:14:53.100 God has given you the opportunity to set them apart and follow after Christ together with them, to be an influence on what Jesus desires 00:14:53.100 --> 00:14:53.980 in their lives. 00:14:55.440 --> 00:14:55.800 They are sanctified. 00:14:57.720 --> 00:14:58.340 You have blessed them. 00:15:00.940 --> 00:15:08.030 Sometimes we're not always thankful for that situation because we forget of how God has brought us to the point he has in our own walks with him, 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:14.730 how he's changed our lives and in so changing our lives teaches us to love our husband or wife better. 00:15:15.980 --> 00:15:17.480 Teach us to care for our children more. 00:15:17.860 --> 00:15:25.410 So be thankful for where God has placed you in that marriage relationship as you choose to pursue and follow after him. 00:15:26.780 --> 00:15:26.900 Don't. 00:15:27.080 --> 00:15:27.540 Don't do this. 00:15:27.660 --> 00:15:30.720 Don't go home to your family and say, I appreciate me. 00:15:31.620 --> 00:15:33.800 Do you realize who I am and how awesome I am? 00:15:35.260 --> 00:15:38.180 I mean, I've learned all this now I know everything there is about marriage. 00:15:38.260 --> 00:15:39.160 Just listen to me. 00:15:39.180 --> 00:15:40.000 I've got the direction right. 00:15:43.000 --> 00:15:45.960 What it's telling us in this passage of Scripture is because you follow Jesus. 00:15:46.200 --> 00:15:47.910 Jesus has given you perspective and purpose. 00:15:48.040 --> 00:15:51.720 And because you understand what it means to follow Jesus, he's given direction to your marriage. 00:15:51.740 --> 00:15:57.240 And what he's bringing more than anything into that marriage is grace, love, and forgiveness through you. 00:15:57.240 --> 00:15:58.880 What a thankful position that should be. 00:15:58.880 --> 00:16:05.960 As you think about how that helps and grows and nurtures your family closer to Christ, regardless of what they choose to do about Jesus, 00:16:07.820 --> 00:16:12.980 be thankful you're committed to what God has called you to in your marriage. 00:16:13.140 --> 00:16:18.660 You're thankful for what God has called you to, tells us in the second half of 14, be. 00:16:18.860 --> 00:16:19.760 Just think for a moment. 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:25.340 If you weren't committed to your marriage relationship, if you weren't committed to your family, what would that bring? 00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:32.360 He says, for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. 00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:35.000 Otherwise your children would be unclean. 00:16:35.340 --> 00:16:37.580 But as it is, they are holy. 00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:43.780 You have an opportunity like no other in the intimacy of that relationship to reflect Jesus. 00:16:43.880 --> 00:16:48.440 And I'm not just talking about shoving the gospel down people's throat and making Christ unappetizing. 00:16:48.500 --> 00:16:52.340 What I'm saying is a life that is changed because you know Jesus. 00:16:54.220 --> 00:16:55.420 How blessed that family is. 00:16:55.460 --> 00:16:57.800 And he says, if you were to leave that situation, Corinthians. 00:16:58.300 --> 00:17:05.420 If you were to talk about divorce, even utter that word, think about what that would mean to your family and to your children by pulling Jesus 00:17:05.420 --> 00:17:07.079 out of there. 00:17:07.859 --> 00:17:11.300 God is capable of working miracles in the life of your family by your presence. 00:17:13.140 --> 00:17:14.540 And God wants you to love them. 00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:21.859 Can you imagine for just a moment you've come to know Christ. 00:17:23.520 --> 00:17:29.520 God is changing your life and you want Christ to change the life of other people. 00:17:31.340 --> 00:17:33.480 And the first person you're interested in is your spouse. 00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:37.700 You think about for a moment you loved your spouse. 00:17:37.740 --> 00:17:45.120 You loved your spouse so dearly enough that you married them You loved your spouse so dearly that you have committed your entire life 00:17:45.120 --> 00:17:45.820 to them. 00:17:46.860 --> 00:17:54.000 And because Jesus has made such a tremendous impact in your life, he's also something that you want to share with the person that you've chosen to love 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.000 the most more than anyone here on this earth. 00:17:57.420 --> 00:17:59.520 And you were to go home, and you were just to say to them, you know what? 00:17:59.600 --> 00:18:00.460 Because I love Christ. 00:18:01.840 --> 00:18:02.900 Because of what he's doing in my life. 00:18:03.040 --> 00:18:06.850 I just want you to know that he is changing me to love you more deeply. 00:18:07.500 --> 00:18:08.780 He is changing me to love you more sincerely. 00:18:09.080 --> 00:18:15.440 He is changing me to be more committed to you, to appreciate everything that there is about you, and enjoy that relationship we have together. 00:18:16.680 --> 00:18:20.120 Imagine if you were to open up your Bible to first Corinthians 13. 00:18:20.140 --> 00:18:22.500 In a world that doesn't know really what love is. 00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:30.670 And you were to say, what I found out today in church in first Corinthians 13 is how I'm going to love you better in our relationship. 00:18:31.980 --> 00:18:32.760 And you begin to read. 00:18:33.500 --> 00:18:34.160 Love is patient. 00:18:35.380 --> 00:18:40.490 And so when things get hard and maybe you're just more irritable today, I'm just going to be patient and love you. 00:18:41.460 --> 00:18:42.340 And love is kind. 00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:49.940 And at different times in your life when you may feel unkind, I'm going to work so hard to love you and to be kind in love believes 00:18:49.940 --> 00:18:51.680 all things and endures. 00:18:51.840 --> 00:18:54.110 Love, hopes, love never fails. 00:18:54.180 --> 00:18:58.160 And what I'm saying to you, because I love you so much, is that I don't want to ever fail you. 00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:00.160 Sometimes I man, I pray that you forgive me, but. 00:19:00.340 --> 00:19:05.130 But because I love you, I'm making this decision just to be this committed to you. 00:19:07.040 --> 00:19:14.240 Imagine, ladies, if you were to open the Proverbs 31 we've looked at together on being 00:19:14.320 --> 00:19:14.720 a biblical woman. 00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:22.440 And even if you're married to someone who follows Jesus or not just from Proverbs 31, just say it starting in verse ten. 00:19:22.700 --> 00:19:27.300 You know, I'm going to focus on being this type of godly woman, and I want you to be an encouragement to life. 00:19:27.520 --> 00:19:32.740 Because to my to my life, because I want to be this for you, because you're that important to me. 00:19:34.440 --> 00:19:39.150 In first Timothy five and verse eight, where it tells the husband, if you don't provide for your family. 00:19:39.320 --> 00:19:40.720 You're worse off than an unbeliever. 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:44.980 And you remind your wife that my job in this home is to take care of you because I love you. 00:19:45.060 --> 00:19:46.680 This is what God has called me to do. 00:19:49.020 --> 00:19:50.800 Ephesians four five and six. 00:19:50.800 --> 00:19:57.940 We've looked at together on how to communicate and love, how to be a godly wife 00:19:57.940 --> 00:20:05.070 or a godly husband, how to live in that marriage relationship, to explain those things to your spouse and what God desires for you to do. 00:20:06.900 --> 00:20:09.360 God wants you to be committed to where you are. 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:16.960 God wants you to be thankful for where you are and what Peter or excuse me, Paul also shares is that God wants you to be hopeful. 00:20:19.380 --> 00:20:26.580 In first Corinthians chapter seven and verse 16, he goes on to say, for how do you know, wife, whether 00:20:26.580 --> 00:20:27.420 you will save your husband? 00:20:28.820 --> 00:20:31.080 Or how do you know husband, whether you will save your wife? 00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:38.450 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. 00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:42.770 He reiterates the fact that he wants you to be committed to the cause. 00:20:42.860 --> 00:20:47.200 But what he reminds us of is that there is a need within that marriage relationship to be hopeful. 00:20:49.020 --> 00:20:51.360 You know how important Jesus has been to your life. 00:20:52.760 --> 00:20:56.340 You know all the change that Jesus has brought into your life. 00:20:57.260 --> 00:21:01.480 And more than anything, I know as you've come to know him, what you desire is for your spouse to know him as well. 00:21:03.820 --> 00:21:04.320 I do too. 00:21:06.220 --> 00:21:09.920 I wish we could get away with all religion in this world. 00:21:10.420 --> 00:21:11.040 I wish we could. 00:21:11.800 --> 00:21:16.800 Everyone who's ever heard the name of Christ, I wish those causes could be pushed aside and everything stripped away. 00:21:17.560 --> 00:21:21.200 And everyone in this world just having an opportunity to see how important Jesus is. 00:21:23.180 --> 00:21:30.180 And Paul reminds us in those situations, sometimes when it seems hard, and sometimes when your heart aches for your spouse, and sometimes when you want 00:21:30.320 --> 00:21:32.860 nothing more than for them to have that hope that you have. 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:34.100 Don't. 00:21:34.420 --> 00:21:41.480 Don't lose that hopeful thinking As Paul says, as you follow after the Lord, as you're committed to your spouse, 00:21:41.600 --> 00:21:46.360 as you love them the way that God desires, you never know what the Lord might do. 00:21:48.700 --> 00:21:55.760 And so this morning, we just stop and pause where Paul has spoken in First Corinthians, and we just ask ourselves, how 00:21:55.760 --> 00:21:57.410 is your attitude in your marriage relationship? 00:21:59.860 --> 00:22:02.660 Do you need a little extra encouragement to be hopeful in the Lord? 00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:11.640 Do you need to be reminded of the commitment that you've made in God's desire for you to continue to be committed, and to carry an attitude of thankfulness 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:13.520 for where God has brought you into that marriage relationship. 00:22:14.300 --> 00:22:20.780 Because knowing Jesus has brought so much more blessing not only to your life, but in how you love and appreciate your spouse in this world. 00:22:23.260 --> 00:22:25.320 Second, Peter begins to address. 00:22:27.360 --> 00:22:29.330 He doesn't just focus on your attitude. 00:22:29.380 --> 00:22:32.040 What he also focuses on is the actions. 00:22:34.940 --> 00:22:37.030 How do you share Jesus with your spouse? 00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:42.660 You have an attitude and wanting to carry Jesus to your spouse. 00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:45.020 The attitude and perspective that you should have with your marriage. 00:22:45.120 --> 00:22:52.160 But maybe more importantly, the question we should ask ourselves this morning is how can we share what Christ is doing in our lives and who Jesus 00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:59.280 is with our spouse if they've chosen not maybe to follow after him, or even if they're in a position where 00:22:59.280 --> 00:23:01.630 they don't want to follow him, though they've known him. 00:23:02.660 --> 00:23:05.480 Peter addresses the wife in first Peter three and verse one. 00:23:07.220 --> 00:23:14.480 He says, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, 00:23:15.100 --> 00:23:19.200 they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. 00:23:21.840 --> 00:23:22.980 Ladies, can I tell you something this morning? 00:23:24.100 --> 00:23:26.900 And you may not always grasp this or may not completely understand it. 00:23:26.900 --> 00:23:29.050 I'm just gonna give you a fact, and we're just going to run with it today. 00:23:30.360 --> 00:23:37.560 your husband needs your respect Men 00:23:37.560 --> 00:23:40.600 tend to think in areas of respect as people. 00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:45.440 There was a there was a survey done by this man named Eugene Garrick. 00:23:45.540 --> 00:23:47.130 He was a he was a counselor. 00:23:47.520 --> 00:23:50.680 And he specifically recently done a marriage counseling seminar. 00:23:50.680 --> 00:23:51.970 It's called Love and Respect. 00:23:52.100 --> 00:23:59.160 And within that seminar, he was he was asked or went to before a few hundred men and asked them, guys, if 00:23:59.380 --> 00:24:06.620 you were to live in a home and to be married, would you rather live in a home with no respect and all love or no 00:24:06.620 --> 00:24:07.640 love in all respect? 00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:15.700 And nearly 90% of the men responded that if they had to choose between the two, they would choose a home of respect without love rather than a home of love without respect. 00:24:17.600 --> 00:24:20.320 Respect is important to a man. 00:24:21.020 --> 00:24:23.180 Men fight for it, right? 00:24:23.180 --> 00:24:24.710 We even use the comparison together. 00:24:24.820 --> 00:24:28.040 When if a military man came forward this morning, we were to stand him before the church. 00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:29.560 The first thing the ladies now. 00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:33.490 Well, the first thing the ladies would know is the men came forward is how cute. 00:24:33.520 --> 00:24:34.900 Probably this guy looked in his uniform, right? 00:24:35.360 --> 00:24:35.860 Oh, look at that. 00:24:35.860 --> 00:24:36.760 He looks so nice in his uniform. 00:24:37.380 --> 00:24:39.660 First thing guys would notice is his rank. 00:24:40.360 --> 00:24:41.960 I mean, guys are always checking out badge. 00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:42.370 How many stripes? 00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:42.870 How many stars? 00:24:43.040 --> 00:24:43.520 Who is this guy? 00:24:43.800 --> 00:24:44.400 How high up is he? 00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:45.040 How important is he? 00:24:45.300 --> 00:24:46.100 What is his position? 00:24:46.600 --> 00:24:51.250 Because based on his position, there is a level of respect that comes with it. 00:24:51.480 --> 00:24:52.940 I mean, even down to the animal kingdom. 00:24:53.020 --> 00:24:56.340 You can see this, the lion and his pride, right? 00:24:56.700 --> 00:25:00.380 When you hunt deer, there's a group of doe running around somewhere. 00:25:00.380 --> 00:25:04.600 There is a buck, but there's only one buck because there's only one king in that castle, right? 00:25:05.420 --> 00:25:09.800 There is a level of respect that plays out, even down to the animal kingdom in the area of men. 00:25:11.780 --> 00:25:13.910 Notice what he says to ladies in this passage of scripture. 00:25:16.320 --> 00:25:21.640 Ladies, if you're interested in sharing Christ with your spouse, it's not what you say. 00:25:24.420 --> 00:25:25.730 It's not about what you say. 00:25:27.720 --> 00:25:28.960 It's about what you do. 00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:37.180 And the last line it says they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. 00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:43.920 You know, we begin to notice something about men as we get older, even when they're young. 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:50.360 We're not typically people who like to express our emotions and carry on long, in-depth conversations. 00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:50.500 Right? 00:25:51.300 --> 00:25:54.240 I know even in our own house, Stacy and I like to laugh about that. 00:25:54.840 --> 00:25:58.860 I'll get on the phone with my dad and three minutes later the phone will be phone conversation will be over. 00:25:59.080 --> 00:25:59.920 She'll get on the phone with her parents. 00:26:00.120 --> 00:26:02.070 Three hours later, she's still going right. 00:26:02.860 --> 00:26:05.660 And she'll wonder, how in the world do you have a three minute conversation with your dad? 00:26:05.660 --> 00:26:06.260 What do you talk about? 00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:06.960 It's simple. 00:26:07.340 --> 00:26:11.360 We start off with the weather, we end with the golf game, and we're done, right? 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:14.780 Every every father shares with his son how the weather is going. 00:26:15.140 --> 00:26:16.780 We find out, there's snow here. 00:26:16.800 --> 00:26:17.360 There's not snow here. 00:26:17.360 --> 00:26:18.670 You could have got on the internet and found that out. 00:26:18.680 --> 00:26:19.760 But hey, it's good. 00:26:19.760 --> 00:26:20.280 Love you, love you. 00:26:20.320 --> 00:26:20.600 Goodbye. 00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:23.760 We're people of little conversation, right? 00:26:24.260 --> 00:26:26.760 We don't always like to express our emotions. 00:26:27.600 --> 00:26:28.700 I tend to think a lot of ways. 00:26:28.700 --> 00:26:30.180 We're a lot like that character on Spock. 00:26:30.340 --> 00:26:31.840 That must be why so many guys watch Star Trek. 00:26:32.540 --> 00:26:34.880 Spock was an emotionally detached individual, right? 00:26:35.320 --> 00:26:42.440 Our goal sometimes is to talk with his lease words as possible, to get to the main objective in which we're discussing, in order to accomplish 00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:46.550 a specific purpose to be done, to go back to sitting in silence again. 00:26:46.580 --> 00:26:46.680 Right. 00:26:48.220 --> 00:26:50.120 You think just like Spock. 00:26:51.080 --> 00:26:53.440 I don't know how Spock talks, but I know it's always short and emotionless. 00:26:53.940 --> 00:26:54.940 Right. 00:26:55.020 --> 00:26:57.040 I mean, how many of you ladies have ever been sitting at home? 00:26:57.060 --> 00:27:01.440 And the guy comes home and all of a sudden you're making dinner or something. 00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:01.990 You're watching television. 00:27:02.200 --> 00:27:06.420 He turns in, he just turns off the TV and says, you ask him, what do you want to do today, honey? 00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:11.240 He says, there's nothing more interesting to me today than just let's talk, let's explore. 00:27:11.380 --> 00:27:13.000 Let's go deep with our emotions. 00:27:13.120 --> 00:27:15.100 Let's discuss what you've experienced today. 00:27:15.280 --> 00:27:16.520 Let's have fun together. 00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:18.180 Let's conversate. 00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:18.360 Right. 00:27:19.040 --> 00:27:20.300 That doesn't happen with guys. 00:27:25.060 --> 00:27:32.140 And the older they get, the less they talk right If we could have entire conversations 00:27:32.140 --> 00:27:35.260 with the word yes no and the occasional grunt guys would do it. 00:27:36.740 --> 00:27:37.120 We do. 00:27:38.080 --> 00:27:44.680 Even from a young age, we were making machine gun noises as the little girl plays house talking to her family. 00:27:44.700 --> 00:27:45.280 Right? 00:27:45.400 --> 00:27:51.480 Every guy in this world may not know how to carry a good conversation, but I guarantee you, every guy in this room knows whether or not he can belch the alphabet, right? 00:27:51.900 --> 00:27:53.440 At some point in your life, you've attempted it. 00:27:53.480 --> 00:27:53.780 Right, guys? 00:27:58.220 --> 00:28:03.620 Guys are not creatures of conversation, typically. 00:28:03.940 --> 00:28:11.180 And so it says to the ladies in first Peter chapter three and verse one, if you're interested in sharing Christ with your husband, the 00:28:11.220 --> 00:28:15.860 thing that's going to speak louder than words to him is a life that displays it. 00:28:17.260 --> 00:28:22.780 Men, typically, if they talk, choose to talk to achieve a goal or a purpose, an objective. 00:28:24.020 --> 00:28:27.920 They don't talk to go through an emotional experience, but just for a purpose. 00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:29.070 And when that purpose is accomplished. 00:28:29.280 --> 00:28:31.700 Conversation over. 00:28:31.800 --> 00:28:36.620 Peter's recommendation to ladies is they desire for a spouse to grow in the Lord. 00:28:36.700 --> 00:28:41.690 To know him, to get closer with him is to lead a life that says you already know him. 00:28:42.760 --> 00:28:44.540 He goes on to explain a little bit further. 00:28:44.580 --> 00:28:47.620 I love the details of Peter because when he talks to the women, he goes into detail. 00:28:47.660 --> 00:28:50.410 When he talks to the men, it's just in a sentence you're going to see in just a minute. 00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:57.720 He says in verse two, when they see your respectful and pure conduct, do not let your adorning be external. 00:28:59.180 --> 00:29:03.860 The braiding of hair, or putting on of gold or jewelry or the clothing you wear. 00:29:05.100 --> 00:29:12.420 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is 00:29:12.520 --> 00:29:12.720 very precious. 00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:17.050 I want to stop for just a second and say, ladies, what he's saying is don't. 00:29:17.580 --> 00:29:18.320 He's not saying dress nasty. 00:29:19.060 --> 00:29:19.880 Okay. 00:29:19.940 --> 00:29:21.300 Your husband married you. 00:29:21.300 --> 00:29:24.520 One of the things he loves about you is that you look beautiful every day. 00:29:24.520 --> 00:29:27.420 Okay, so he's not saying start dressing trashy. 00:29:27.560 --> 00:29:29.940 What he's saying is, let's not make it about religious things. 00:29:31.340 --> 00:29:33.420 Let's not make it about making ourselves look good on the outside. 00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:34.840 When we're as wicked as can be on the inside. 00:29:36.100 --> 00:29:41.810 What your primary concern should be when you want to display Christ to other people, is to be concerned with your heart. 00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:46.750 No one wants to listen to the words that you have to say if it's not changing the way that you're living. 00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:52.780 And so he's sharing with the ladies to adorn themselves, starting with their heart. 00:29:54.140 --> 00:30:00.000 He goes on to say, for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands. 00:30:00.340 --> 00:30:04.440 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children. 00:30:05.180 --> 00:30:07.860 If you do good, and do not fear anything that is frightening. 00:30:08.840 --> 00:30:10.420 Now the underlying calling him Lord. 00:30:10.420 --> 00:30:12.140 And I just wanted to do this as a warning to guys. 00:30:13.620 --> 00:30:18.820 you can try this at home, I guess, if you want, but, I'm sure your ladies aren't going to take to this calling. 00:30:19.660 --> 00:30:21.340 Calling you Lord, right? 00:30:21.760 --> 00:30:25.150 It's probably not a good idea that might end up in a disaster very quickly. 00:30:25.800 --> 00:30:27.860 I once met a guy who read this portion of the Bible. 00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:33.000 I think it must be the only portion of the Bible he ever read, because he actually had his family referred to him as Lord. 00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:36.780 I don't I don't know what planet he was from. 00:30:37.480 --> 00:30:43.040 I don't know how long that marriage is going to last, but that's not exactly what Scripture is saying here. 00:30:43.060 --> 00:30:46.320 God doesn't desire for you to call, to have your spouse call you Lord. 00:30:46.920 --> 00:30:51.440 What Sarah is doing to Abraham is she's referring to Abraham in a term of endearment. 00:30:52.760 --> 00:30:54.740 Just a simple term of the time that showed respect. 00:30:56.800 --> 00:31:03.700 In fact, if you go through scripture, you'll see Abraham even used that term of endearment and a term of respect at particular points in his life. 00:31:05.340 --> 00:31:06.280 Abraham or Sarah? 00:31:06.280 --> 00:31:06.600 Excuse me. 00:31:06.620 --> 00:31:13.860 Through that one word is showing reverence to her husband and the desire to just want to want to help him, to serve him, to 00:31:13.860 --> 00:31:17.500 submit to him and whatever God desires for her life. 00:31:20.120 --> 00:31:22.780 Simple question is this based on this passage of Scripture? 00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:29.850 What kind of home does your husband come to each and every day? 00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:33.350 What's your home life like? 00:31:36.860 --> 00:31:44.000 Proverbs tells us in chapter 27 and verse 15 that the dripping faucet is similar to 00:31:44.020 --> 00:31:44.720 a nagging wife. 00:31:46.900 --> 00:31:54.220 As your husband, happy to get home and be in front of your presence because of your desire just to give yourself to him, to love him, to respect him, 00:31:54.300 --> 00:31:55.560 to appreciate him. 00:31:56.380 --> 00:32:03.380 That's the kind of man who just wants to avoid home, who wants to stay at work longer and longer each and every day because it's more pleasant 00:32:03.380 --> 00:32:09.890 for him to be at work and doing his job than to enter into his home because his wife is a lady who cares respect for him. 00:32:10.500 --> 00:32:14.800 She actually becomes a woman who nags him. 00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:18.160 Proverbs 12 says this an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. 00:32:19.400 --> 00:32:26.800 But she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones We've said together 00:32:26.800 --> 00:32:29.540 that a man can't live with a quarrelsome wife. 00:32:30.790 --> 00:32:32.690 He can't live with a nagging wife. 00:32:33.780 --> 00:32:38.140 See, God has called him to the headship of the home, to be the leader of the home, to be responsible to the home. 00:32:38.360 --> 00:32:41.030 God's holding him accountable for the way he leads his home. 00:32:42.380 --> 00:32:49.980 And if his wife is a lady who carries no respect but lots of nagging for him, his choices are to fight her and look like a bully, or 00:32:49.980 --> 00:32:52.050 to cower and look like a spineless man. 00:32:53.980 --> 00:32:54.980 He can't win in that predicament. 00:32:56.300 --> 00:33:03.400 And what Peter is saying to the believers here is that your life, the way that you choose to live, is the greatest example that you can present before your husband. 00:33:03.900 --> 00:33:10.050 Married ladies, I'm going to give you a reference if you want your husband just running home from work later for the rest of his life. 00:33:10.680 --> 00:33:14.550 Proverbs chapter five, verse 15 and 20 say, go home and read that a little bit later. 00:33:15.040 --> 00:33:18.240 Guarantee for the next month he'll be at home early from work every day. 00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:19.960 So Proverbs 515 and 20. 00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:27.020 I'm not going to read it now, but you can look at it later What becomes unappetizing to a 00:33:27.020 --> 00:33:28.210 man, especially in this situation. 00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:31.400 We talk about the nagging wife being unappealing to him. 00:33:31.820 --> 00:33:35.760 It also becomes a wife who typically just nags with the gospel. 00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:38.180 You know what I mean by that? 00:33:40.100 --> 00:33:47.220 I know when I first became a Christian, the Bible says at the very last verse of Matthew chapter 28 and verse 1920, go 00:33:47.220 --> 00:33:49.180 into all the world and preach the gospel, right? 00:33:49.740 --> 00:33:51.540 I had no idea exactly how to do that. 00:33:51.560 --> 00:33:53.130 I had no idea what the best way to do that was. 00:33:53.340 --> 00:33:59.700 And so my first attempts at doing this was find someone and run up to them and just share the gospel real quick and run away real quick because it's embarrassing. 00:33:59.840 --> 00:34:01.290 I have no idea what I'm saying and it makes me feel uncomfortable. 00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:03.080 That was the first impression. 00:34:03.600 --> 00:34:09.940 And so while I was doing, was giving somebody just a jamet gospel pill shot of just look how important Jesus is, and I walk away. 00:34:09.940 --> 00:34:14.409 And then they were displeased with my approach, and I was wondering why in the world they didn't want to know the Lord. 00:34:14.580 --> 00:34:14.679 Right? 00:34:16.560 --> 00:34:22.230 There is something about the way that you represent Jesus in this world that is a sweet savor to the people around you. 00:34:23.500 --> 00:34:30.500 You know one thing your husband will not want to turn off in this world is a wife who is pleasant and a wife who loves him 00:34:30.500 --> 00:34:31.690 and cares for him. 00:34:32.179 --> 00:34:38.909 The one thing that he will want to turn off is someone who continues to nag him, regardless of what it is, especially if it has to do with the gospel. 00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:45.280 There was a lady who went to a counselor because she was experiencing problems in their marriage. 00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:51.480 What he began to notice in their marriage relationship she trusted in the Lord. 00:34:51.780 --> 00:34:57.280 He hadn't followed after the Lord yet in his life, and she began to major on the preaching. 00:34:57.380 --> 00:35:04.560 She became so concerned with him, she became so fixated on his need to know the Lord that she forgot about her own life and being that example for him. 00:35:04.560 --> 00:35:06.420 And so the council began to ask him, what? 00:35:06.720 --> 00:35:10.120 What are you doing in your own life to follow after the Lord? 00:35:10.140 --> 00:35:12.740 And she really made her life a trap to her husband. 00:35:13.640 --> 00:35:17.620 She began to have Bible studies in her home to trap him, to force him to listen to Bible studies. 00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:23.500 When she listened to Christian radio constantly when he came home from work, she blared the radio station to make sure that he heard it. 00:35:23.580 --> 00:35:25.740 She left gospel tracks just laying all over the house. 00:35:25.860 --> 00:35:28.130 Wherever he was, wherever he was, it was going to be in his face. 00:35:29.340 --> 00:35:32.740 And those things, like I should say, stop and say those things can be fine. 00:35:33.740 --> 00:35:35.100 It's okay to listen to Christian radio. 00:35:36.180 --> 00:35:38.100 It's okay to have Bible studies in your home. 00:35:39.580 --> 00:35:42.600 It's okay to have books dealing with Jesus laying around. 00:35:43.800 --> 00:35:50.300 What it's not okay to do is to present those things and shove them in people's faces when it's not natural to your own life. 00:35:53.000 --> 00:36:00.080 As she chose to follow after the Lord with her life, as he chose to be an example for God in her life, those things would have naturally flown 00:36:00.080 --> 00:36:02.740 in her own position as she followed after Jesus. 00:36:05.580 --> 00:36:12.840 What Paul says to us, and what Peter said to us this morning as ladies in this predicament, regardless of 00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:20.400 any choice that any anyone in your family might make, it's important for you just to follow Jesus You don't 00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:22.860 follow him for the purpose of other people to follow him. 00:36:23.720 --> 00:36:28.330 You follow him because that's what God's called you to do, is you have chosen to follow after him with your life. 00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:30.260 Just follow Jesus. 00:36:32.060 --> 00:36:33.220 Be concerned with your heart. 00:36:35.020 --> 00:36:36.460 Be concerned with your character. 00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:39.340 Be concerned with your choices. 00:36:41.100 --> 00:36:44.800 Be concerned with your actions regardless of what someone else may choose to do. 00:36:46.380 --> 00:36:47.570 It's about you following Jesus. 00:36:50.140 --> 00:36:52.500 You know that marriage advice fits for anybody. 00:36:54.560 --> 00:37:00.300 Because we know in marriage, at some point your spouse, you or your spouse is going to act ungodly. 00:37:01.640 --> 00:37:02.580 You're going to do something wrong. 00:37:04.380 --> 00:37:07.280 And every spouse in this room has a choice in those moments. 00:37:09.040 --> 00:37:16.260 Are you going to give in and partake of that sin with him and fight back, or are you just going to give up and let Jesus 00:37:16.260 --> 00:37:23.380 have control This portion of Scripture tells to all ladies, and it will 00:37:23.380 --> 00:37:24.740 apply to men in just a moment. 00:37:26.580 --> 00:37:27.240 Live for Jesus. 00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:31.460 Be concerned with your life, with your own heart. 00:37:33.080 --> 00:37:34.770 Let that be the light that shines forth. 00:37:35.720 --> 00:37:41.680 Let those examples by the conduct and the deeds of your life that is being transformed and changed by the power of Christ. 00:37:42.140 --> 00:37:43.700 Be what's made known. 00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:52.920 At the end of your life, may people say, not only did she share Christ in a way that people could understand, but 00:37:52.920 --> 00:37:54.490 man, she lived for him. 00:37:56.240 --> 00:37:58.080 The Bible goes on to talk about the men. 00:37:59.560 --> 00:38:01.900 It says in first Peter chapter three and verse seven. 00:38:04.740 --> 00:38:11.900 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives and an understanding way, showing honor 00:38:11.900 --> 00:38:19.330 to the women as the weaker vessels, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered because 00:38:21.220 --> 00:38:24.360 you don't have to look in the mirror to know that your wife is more beautiful than you are. 00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:29.380 After all, the older you get, the more hair pops up in strange places, right? 00:38:36.470 --> 00:38:40.920 What he's talking about in this passage of scripture, he refers to women as weaker vessels. 00:38:42.560 --> 00:38:48.010 He's not saying women are lower than men, because he goes on to say, since they are heirs of the grace of life. 00:38:48.700 --> 00:38:53.200 Can I tell you in this passage of Scripture, I don't think that grace of life necessarily is referring to eternity. 00:38:53.940 --> 00:38:56.250 I think it's talking about the grace of this life together. 00:38:56.780 --> 00:39:01.450 Because you remember, as this passage of Scripture started off, it was referring to unbelievers as well as believers. 00:39:01.660 --> 00:39:05.490 God has given you this grace of experiencing life together. 00:39:06.380 --> 00:39:09.230 And what God desires for you to do is to adorn her as a weaker vessel. 00:39:09.240 --> 00:39:09.980 And it carries this image. 00:39:11.120 --> 00:39:18.220 In our life, though we are equal, we are different in the way that God has designed your life as much like an ornate item within your 00:39:18.220 --> 00:39:23.260 home, in which you place as the centerpiece of decoration to either your living room or to your kitchen. 00:39:24.380 --> 00:39:28.120 You think about an expensive vase or a chandelier that often hangs in homes. 00:39:28.180 --> 00:39:29.020 When you come into that home. 00:39:29.240 --> 00:39:30.720 It is the centerpiece of beauty. 00:39:31.160 --> 00:39:33.190 It is elegant, but it is gentle. 00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:40.020 And he's telling to the gentleman in this passage of scripture, guys, treat your women in that way. 00:39:40.020 --> 00:39:41.440 Treat your wife in that way. 00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:44.120 Show that kind of concern and respect for her. 00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:52.020 She is the gentle, beautiful, artistic masterpiece of your home, and the opportunity and the 00:39:52.020 --> 00:39:59.520 desire for God's call in your life is to appreciate what she's bringing to you and to your family. 00:40:00.920 --> 00:40:02.080 How do you appreciate that time? 00:40:03.740 --> 00:40:05.610 She's the grace of life with you. 00:40:06.760 --> 00:40:07.360 May I suggest something? 00:40:09.180 --> 00:40:10.720 Turn off your TV. 00:40:10.720 --> 00:40:12.760 Sit down and say, let's talk. 00:40:13.400 --> 00:40:18.180 Now, knowing Knowing that men typically talk for an objective or purpose. 00:40:18.500 --> 00:40:19.880 Let me give you a cheap but great idea. 00:40:20.580 --> 00:40:21.120 Go on a walk. 00:40:22.040 --> 00:40:22.280 All right. 00:40:23.300 --> 00:40:24.220 You go on a walk together. 00:40:24.740 --> 00:40:26.970 You think as a man in your head, we are having a goal and objective. 00:40:27.180 --> 00:40:28.680 It's to start here, to end here. 00:40:28.820 --> 00:40:29.320 Let's go on this walk. 00:40:29.380 --> 00:40:29.480 Come on. 00:40:29.600 --> 00:40:30.890 Let's do it and take off together. 00:40:30.980 --> 00:40:31.100 Okay. 00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:37.260 And along the way, she's going to start talking to you the whole time you've gotten a goal objective to get back to your destination. 00:40:37.260 --> 00:40:41.160 But you can begin to enjoy that conversation with your spouse as well. 00:40:41.380 --> 00:40:48.480 I can say this because the burnhams aren't here anymore, but one of the things I really appreciate about watching them, if you ever had the opportunity to watch just their marriage 00:40:49.140 --> 00:40:54.320 every day in the evening, Tom and Cheryl would leave their home and go on a walk together. 00:40:55.040 --> 00:40:56.710 Some of you who live in that neighborhood probably saw them. 00:40:58.820 --> 00:41:00.640 Tom probably wasn't interested. 00:41:01.040 --> 00:41:03.250 He's not a conversating kind of guy, was he? 00:41:03.780 --> 00:41:10.860 He's a quiet guy, but what he was doing was taking the time to appreciate his wife as 00:41:10.860 --> 00:41:16.000 the weaker vessel, as an Artistic, beautiful form in his home. 00:41:18.420 --> 00:41:23.220 God's desire for you is to appreciate who God has given you in your home. 00:41:25.260 --> 00:41:27.870 Notice what he says in the very end of this passage of Scripture. 00:41:29.920 --> 00:41:37.000 If you're interested in following after Christ in your life, one of the things that should be remarkably a part of that life is 00:41:37.160 --> 00:41:38.180 communicating with God. 00:41:39.180 --> 00:41:40.860 After all, it's how relationships grow. 00:41:41.860 --> 00:41:43.000 People are always changing. 00:41:43.740 --> 00:41:46.730 Unless we're engaged in conversations growing together, we'll grow apart. 00:41:48.120 --> 00:41:55.360 And what God says in this passage of Scripture, if you're following after me, if we're in a relationship together, you're interested in me being your Lord and you following, 00:41:55.520 --> 00:41:56.540 following me with your life. 00:41:56.620 --> 00:41:58.690 He says, listen to your wives. 00:41:59.660 --> 00:42:02.100 Treat them with respect as heirs to the grace of life. 00:42:02.200 --> 00:42:02.720 And here's why. 00:42:03.600 --> 00:42:05.740 So that your prayers won't be hindered. 00:42:07.540 --> 00:42:12.470 God's saying to men, men, I'm not interested in listening to you unless you're interested in listening to your wife. 00:42:13.580 --> 00:42:17.080 That's how important your marriage relationship is to me. 00:42:17.540 --> 00:42:23.190 That's how important your experiences that your wife's going through and the need to connect with you is to me. 00:42:24.280 --> 00:42:25.480 Your wife already knows this. 00:42:25.580 --> 00:42:27.670 That's why she continues to come before you and have conversations. 00:42:28.100 --> 00:42:33.720 And sometimes you blow her off, not willing to go any, any deeper and just stay on the surface level with conversation with her. 00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:40.940 But God is telling to us, men, because we have the tendency to do this sometimes is to neglect her and her needs and her life, 00:42:41.180 --> 00:42:45.260 and not present Jesus in the way that loves her for the way that she is designed. 00:42:46.560 --> 00:42:49.000 In the most important thing that we can choose to do to people. 00:42:49.020 --> 00:42:52.720 Oftentimes what we do is that we love people the way that we want to be loved. 00:42:53.400 --> 00:43:00.060 As women, we enjoy conversation with one another, talking about emotional experiences and what we enjoy in life together and just having that time. 00:43:01.040 --> 00:43:08.180 If you want a good scenario to go through, go to the ladies group where there's 20 ladies listening or 20 ladies in a in a group together, and there's 20 conversations 00:43:08.320 --> 00:43:12.300 going on all across one another, and each of them knows what the other one is saying. 00:43:12.500 --> 00:43:14.520 I don't know how it happens, but. 00:43:14.940 --> 00:43:20.460 But ladies tend to love you the way that they desire to be loved. 00:43:22.480 --> 00:43:26.630 And women, we tend to love our husbands the way I'm talking, like I'm a lady. 00:43:27.260 --> 00:43:29.340 The way that they desire to be loved. 00:43:31.180 --> 00:43:37.520 So we need to rewire our thinking sometimes to love men the way that they desire to be loved. 00:43:37.940 --> 00:43:41.180 Husbands, love your wife the way that she desires to be loved. 00:43:43.620 --> 00:43:48.690 Jesus is warning to you through Peter so that your prayers will not be hindered. 00:43:50.020 --> 00:43:52.680 Your relationship with God will continue to grow. 00:43:54.500 --> 00:44:02.620 Let me ask you guys, did you date your wife to marry her or 00:44:02.620 --> 00:44:04.430 did you marry your wife to date her? 00:44:06.440 --> 00:44:12.700 That was good, wasn't it Think about it for a second. 00:44:12.740 --> 00:44:13.560 Whenever some of the guys head. 00:44:13.660 --> 00:44:16.340 So let me repeat it again, guys. 00:44:17.520 --> 00:44:22.370 Did you date your wife to marry her or did you marry your wife to date her? 00:44:24.180 --> 00:44:31.260 See, because I think that she may have been duped into the idea or the experience that when you were dating together before you married, that relationship 00:44:31.260 --> 00:44:36.240 and your enjoyment and her and everything that she brought into your dating world was going to continue into marriage. 00:44:36.600 --> 00:44:41.620 But once you got settled down, you forgot what it meant to date your wife and be concerned for her as the weaker vessel. 00:44:42.560 --> 00:44:43.780 Guilty, right? 00:44:45.700 --> 00:44:48.060 Wives. 00:44:48.800 --> 00:44:49.300 What about you? 00:44:51.420 --> 00:44:52.680 Because your husband remembers. 00:44:52.720 --> 00:44:56.760 And it was so easy when you were dating to continue to date to date you. 00:44:56.860 --> 00:44:57.000 Because. 00:44:57.040 --> 00:44:57.920 And to show that love. 00:44:57.960 --> 00:45:02.280 Because when you were coming into a room with his presence, you thought he was Mr. 00:45:02.280 --> 00:45:02.780 It man. 00:45:04.160 --> 00:45:07.590 I mean, he was so strong, there was nothing he could do wrong in your world. 00:45:07.640 --> 00:45:09.070 And he had all the respect in the world. 00:45:09.160 --> 00:45:14.720 A few mistakes later and maybe, just maybe a little bit of that respect and a little bit of that love that you carried for him has dwindled. 00:45:17.420 --> 00:45:23.260 If you want your husband to love you the way that you desire to be loved, you need to respect him the way that God desires for you to respect him. 00:45:23.720 --> 00:45:29.770 If you want the respect from your wife, man, you need to love her the way that God desires for you to love her. 00:45:30.960 --> 00:45:32.520 That works for anybody, doesn't it? 00:45:36.050 --> 00:45:43.120 The concern for Peter is just to have the opportunity to share with an unbelieving spouse, and 00:45:43.120 --> 00:45:43.780 even a believing spouse. 00:45:45.360 --> 00:45:48.310 The beauty of what Jesus is doing in your life. 00:45:50.020 --> 00:45:51.970 I like how he concludes this passage. 00:45:52.640 --> 00:45:54.100 He spoke a lot to the women. 00:45:54.640 --> 00:45:56.540 He spoke just one little verse to the guys. 00:45:56.560 --> 00:45:57.530 Look, see, it's just one sentence. 00:45:57.640 --> 00:46:00.860 It's got a couple commas in it, but just one sentence there. 00:46:01.740 --> 00:46:03.800 And in verse eight and nine he speaks to everybody. 00:46:05.680 --> 00:46:07.240 What's your attitude really? 00:46:08.480 --> 00:46:15.580 If we carry an attitude that's found in verse eight and nine through all relationships that we experience in life, we're going to have no problem in sharing 00:46:15.580 --> 00:46:18.140 how important Jesus is to us. 00:46:18.560 --> 00:46:23.260 We're going to have little problems in getting along with people around us. 00:46:24.740 --> 00:46:32.580 He says in verse eight, finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, 00:46:33.060 --> 00:46:35.180 brotherly love, a tender heart, a humble mind. 00:46:35.420 --> 00:46:38.940 Do not repay evil for evil or insult for insult, but on the contrary, bless. 00:46:39.620 --> 00:46:43.960 For to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:52.420 You know what I notice about passages of Scripture like this is really it's carrying the attitude of the gospel in all circumstances. 00:46:55.280 --> 00:47:00.670 And this is the way Jesus really treated everyone in this world as he came to this earth to die for us. 00:47:02.600 --> 00:47:09.860 As we've looked at Ephesians together in a marriage relationship, and we've saw it in verse chapter four and five what it means to communicate biblically 00:47:09.860 --> 00:47:10.780 and love one another. 00:47:10.780 --> 00:47:16.480 It goes on in verse five, chapter five and it says, wives, submit to your husbands, as he is the head of the. 00:47:16.700 --> 00:47:17.980 As Christ is the head of the church. 00:47:18.060 --> 00:47:20.440 So submit to your husbands as he is the head of the home. 00:47:20.460 --> 00:47:24.660 And he goes on to say, husbands, give your lives for your wife. 00:47:24.860 --> 00:47:25.660 Die for her. 00:47:26.760 --> 00:47:29.260 Literally give everything you've got to who she is. 00:47:31.440 --> 00:47:36.600 It tells us as you love her, you will cleanse her through the washing of the word. 00:47:37.920 --> 00:47:40.710 The more you love your wife, the more lovable she becomes. 00:47:42.560 --> 00:47:49.260 In Ephesians five, when Paul wrote to us for us to understand and get a biblical picture of what marriage was all about. 00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:53.910 Do you know the only thing that he described in that marriage relationship for us is the gospel? 00:47:55.580 --> 00:48:01.580 He compared it to Jesus being the head Jesus coming to this earth, Jesus dying because Jesus died and was resurrected. 00:48:01.620 --> 00:48:04.720 We're being cleansed through him as we follow after him with our lives. 00:48:05.160 --> 00:48:07.000 Jesus sanctifies us, sets us apart. 00:48:07.000 --> 00:48:07.780 Makes us new. 00:48:08.400 --> 00:48:10.640 Gives us a new life in following after him. 00:48:11.700 --> 00:48:18.820 Do you realize the solution to every adversity we face in any relationship in life is found within the 00:48:18.820 --> 00:48:22.460 gospel the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. 00:48:23.040 --> 00:48:25.140 The gospel isn't just a part of the Christian life. 00:48:25.400 --> 00:48:27.680 It's everything to do with the Christian life. 00:48:29.860 --> 00:48:37.260 When we have trouble within our marriage relationship, or we have trouble in any relationship whatsoever, all we need to do is just sit down and say, what 00:48:37.260 --> 00:48:43.320 part of the gospel do I need to live here to elevate and bring this position back to the place that God wants it? 00:48:44.360 --> 00:48:48.350 Do I need to die to self like Jesus died right now because I'm fighting for something that's not necessary? 00:48:49.300 --> 00:48:52.130 Do I need to forgive in this moment the way that Jesus forgave? 00:48:53.520 --> 00:48:55.700 Do I need to allow it to cover this multitude of sins? 00:48:56.140 --> 00:48:58.200 That way we, me and my wife, can just love. 00:48:59.540 --> 00:49:00.810 Do I need to love? 00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:09.000 Maybe my spouse is feeling this way right now because they don't have the love that God desires for them to have or they're not going to respect, because there's a lot of pressure in their 00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:10.920 life right now and they're getting beat down. 00:49:11.220 --> 00:49:16.140 I mean, what part of the gospel do I need to live out in this situation that Jesus may be glorified? 00:49:16.200 --> 00:49:21.200 Our relationship could be healed and God be proclaimed in this situation. 00:49:23.400 --> 00:49:28.270 The gospel has everything to do with the Christian life. 00:49:31.100 --> 00:49:32.170 As we think about this. 00:49:32.220 --> 00:49:34.790 We carry that attitude in this passage of Scripture. 00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:43.920 Your actions in your marriage, your actions, whether you're married in a divided, spiritually divided 00:49:43.920 --> 00:49:51.160 home or not, your actions lay the groundwork for the grace of the gospel to be played out in the lives of 00:49:51.160 --> 00:49:52.340 the people around you. 00:49:54.720 --> 00:50:00.360 You should seek in your life to change your life before you expect someone else to change theirs. 00:50:01.940 --> 00:50:06.540 Don't be so fixated on everyone else that you forget what God's doing in here. 00:50:08.020 --> 00:50:09.710 Seek to become that person that God desires. 00:50:11.340 --> 00:50:17.300 Change your life for the glory of God, regardless of what other people do or say. 00:50:19.200 --> 00:50:22.760 And the only person you're going to be held accountable for at the end of this life is you. 00:50:25.120 --> 00:50:27.610 And don't get fixed on forcing other people to change. 00:50:29.560 --> 00:50:35.000 You know what Paul and Peter have both said, as the opportunity that we have before us is just to live and pray. 00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:42.320 Live the life that God has called you and pray as if everything depended on it. 00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:51.880 There's a story about a man and a wife who were going through some trouble in their marriage, and the husband was reluctant to go to counseling with 00:50:51.900 --> 00:50:52.300 the wife. 00:50:53.200 --> 00:50:54.160 That's very important, right? 00:50:54.540 --> 00:50:58.970 I mean, obviously, the guy's not gonna want to go to counseling because he's got to get in touch with his feelings, get a little bit deeper. 00:50:59.140 --> 00:51:00.640 And the wife was more apt to do that. 00:51:01.100 --> 00:51:08.540 And, and so she starts going to this counseling and she comes home and he notices things 00:51:08.540 --> 00:51:08.980 are different. 00:51:09.980 --> 00:51:16.820 And all of a sudden, one day without his wife, he just shows up in the counselor's office and the counselor asks the man, what are you doing here? 00:51:16.820 --> 00:51:17.620 Your wife isn't even here. 00:51:17.620 --> 00:51:18.800 You're supposed to be coming to this together. 00:51:18.900 --> 00:51:19.580 Why are you showing up? 00:51:19.800 --> 00:51:26.960 And he said, there has been such a difference that's been made in her life, and the way that she's choosing to live and the way that she's appreciating me, that some 00:51:26.960 --> 00:51:29.660 miracle has been done in our in our marriage. 00:51:30.260 --> 00:51:32.660 And I had to come and see for myself what it is. 00:51:36.220 --> 00:51:43.420 Never underestimate the power of a life that just pursues Jesus, because it wants 00:51:43.420 --> 00:51:45.320 to know him more deeply and more intimately. 00:51:47.900 --> 00:51:54.960 Bible says in Matthew chapter five and verse 16, in the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds 00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:58.150 and glorify your father in heaven. 00:52:00.920 --> 00:52:02.740 Paul wrote in the end of first Corinthians seven. 00:52:03.000 --> 00:52:06.860 And we saw in verse 16 and 17, you never know. 00:52:09.060 --> 00:52:09.860 You never know what might. 00:52:10.380 --> 00:52:12.240 What God might do in your circumstance. 00:52:14.080 --> 00:52:16.480 You never know how God might work. 00:52:21.800 --> 00:52:26.270 Are you content with where God has you committed to that cause? 00:52:26.720 --> 00:52:33.270 Thankful for being everything that God has called you to be for the sake of your loved ones around you. 00:52:35.140 --> 00:52:42.260 As a church family together, what we've seen throughout this series is that no marriage is 00:52:42.260 --> 00:52:43.060 perfect. 00:52:44.100 --> 00:52:45.080 No marriage is perfect. 00:52:45.300 --> 00:52:50.000 But what God desires for us is unity and oneness, both in the marriage and in the family. 00:52:51.600 --> 00:52:56.740 In order to achieve that, we've examined together how God has taught us how to communicate and appreciate and love one another. 00:52:56.760 --> 00:53:03.550 In Ephesians four and five, God has described for us in Genesis one and three and Ephesians chapter five and six. 00:53:03.660 --> 00:53:05.080 What a godly family looks like. 00:53:06.720 --> 00:53:13.760 We even talked about what it means to be single before the Lord, and how to perceive that in God's eyes, what it means to be a godly man, 00:53:13.860 --> 00:53:20.900 how to stand in that position that God has called you, and being a man what it means to be a godly woman and living in that marriage relationship and 00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:22.570 following after the Lord. 00:53:23.500 --> 00:53:23.950 How to discipline. 00:53:25.640 --> 00:53:27.160 We talked about the difficult word of discipline. 00:53:28.620 --> 00:53:30.390 We talked about the difficult word of submission. 00:53:30.900 --> 00:53:32.210 You guys are so nice to me on that day. 00:53:34.850 --> 00:53:41.860 We've talked about even what it means to be in a relationship where we may not see eye to eye on our faith. 00:53:43.380 --> 00:53:43.480 Why? 00:53:45.880 --> 00:53:46.840 Because God loves your family. 00:53:49.400 --> 00:53:55.090 God is concerned for you, for your marriage, and for your family. 00:53:56.580 --> 00:54:00.060 Life is about relationships in your marriage. 00:54:00.340 --> 00:54:05.060 You've chosen and selected love someone more deeply than you would ever love anyone in your life. 00:54:08.240 --> 00:54:10.240 Jesus created us when he made man and woman. 00:54:10.240 --> 00:54:11.980 He said, it's not good for man to be alone. 00:54:12.060 --> 00:54:13.700 I will make a helper suitable for him. 00:54:13.720 --> 00:54:19.070 And in creating woman, he created someone that completes him and his weaknesses. 00:54:19.440 --> 00:54:24.040 She brings strength and in his her weaknesses he brings strength. 00:54:26.260 --> 00:54:33.480 Before anything was created in this world, before any institution designed, God created marriage and his concern is 00:54:33.480 --> 00:54:37.780 your relationship to one another and to him. 00:54:38.820 --> 00:54:43.760 I hope as we've gone through this series together, you find that your marriage has been blessed, encouraged, and strengthened. 00:54:44.740 --> 00:54:48.600 In two weeks, we're going to be beginning a new series called Be Complete. 00:54:49.400 --> 00:54:54.940 We're going to go through the book of Colossians together and find out what a completeness means in following after Christ in our lives. 00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:56.980 Let's close in a word of prayer